AIBU to be so upset and think they shouldn't have led me on

[Baybay16]

I was going through the process of adopting a romanian dog rescue. I have been putting off getting a dog for ages but finally decided after like two years when I saw this little puppy they posted.

I applied and was told I have been successful and they need to do a homecheck, I didn't get my hopes up too much as I have heard of people being unsuccessful from little things.

Just before the homecheck I was on their private secret fb group and commented that I was waiting for a homecheck, a volunteer replied that she was with the puppy that I applied for straight away, she sent me photos and said things like "you will fall in love with her when you see her" "she can't wait to come home to you". "Your puppy can't wait to see you" it was really nice of the lady and not going to lie got my hopes up.

Then the homecheck: the lady chatted away to me and at the end said 'I don't think there will be any problems, I will send off forms but I would prepare for puppy's name' if I were you '
We were still kind of holding our breaths at the this point but getting excited.

That night got a facebook message from homecheck lady who said thats the forms sent off, she said she can't wait to see my photos of the puppy and that she can puppy sit whenever I need.

Then yesterday got a phone call who said they won't let me have a puppy as I have stairs in my flat building and they don't think it would be a good idea for training. I explained that there will always be someone with her and we are dedicated to her training and my flat building is very small ( a terraced house converted into 6 flats on three floors ) there is probably more stairs in my mother's house than my flat building. She said she will discuss it with team and homecheck lady and get back to me as she think it would be a great home for the puppy we would be a great match and her heart is telling her yes.

Another phone call again today, it is definitely a no. She said since our check was overall good we can start the process for another dog but I feel disheartened by the whole thing. I would have never gotten my.hopes like this if it wasn't for everyone else sounding so sure.

AIBU to be so upset?? maybe I shouldn't have been so naive. Has this happened to anyone else ?

BayBay have PMed you.

Wolfiefan Yeah thats what I mean, I don't drive and live in the north of scotland, so am not sure how I could go about this. The charity I contacted had the option to pay extra for them to travel to you.
I do understand where they are coming from, most people I know however live in flats and have bought puppies and got on fine. My sister rescued a pug puppy and she has the tiniest flat ever loads of floors up, it's just frustrating, I don't think I'd be the first person toilet training in a flat. I have toilet trained two puppies ( our family dogs, my parents worked) and understand what it takes.
Will definitely check out that rescue , thanks x

The dogs trust are absolutely excellent!

They checked our home and garden before anything. (we have a very small garden but it was literally just so dog could have a wee during the day as we have fields we take him to morning and night, they said this was absolutely fine) We got our dog, took him for a walk about at the centre and then took him home the same day they said just see how things go. They phoned us the next day to see how everything was going and we said great went back in that afternoon, paid and kept doggie. They have always been at the end of a phone with any problems and they love seeing the dogs again at the summer fate.
He does have a medical condition and we are happy to pay for his ongoing medication as he is part of the family etc but just knowing if we couldn't afford it one month they would cover the cost is just great tbh.

I wouldn't hesitate to rehome from them again and will do so when the time comes.

Another suggestion for a rescue is Irish Retriever Rescue - we have had two dogs via them and they are a really well set-up organisation. Obviously, they rehome Golden Retrievers of all ages but, when the dogs are brought into the UK, they are fostered for at least two-three weeks so that issues can be identified. They are a great organisation, who offer ongoing support after a dog is rehomed. Some of the dogs come in via Scotland, so that may prove beneficial to you. All I would say is, however much you may have your heart set on a specific dog, a good rescue will match the right dog to your particular situation. Good luck with your search and rescue dogs can be the most loving pets .

OP look up Help To Rehome Scotland on facebook, that's where I adopted my dog from. She's been with us since July, no problems at all. If a dog needs to be transported they'll often appeal for volunteers so you might have more luck there.

I have two rescue dogs from Europe and my experience was very good. I paid £100 less than you have been asked for.
Dogs had passports, vaxed and neutered. They belong to the rescue if I have to re-home but that is pretty standard.

You do take a massive leap of faith homing a dog you haven't met which is why I was so specific about the size and type of dog I would home.

I would have been very happy to rehome a dog domestically but that didn't seem to be an option. I tried for over 18mths with no luck.
I have children and whatever is said on MN it is almost impossible to find a UK rescue who will consider children under 12.
I didn't want a staffy or a jrt.

I don't see an issue with rehoming from abroad. Foreign dogs are just as deserving of life as English ones.

I hope you find the right dog for you whatever rescue it comes from.

I have two British rescue dogs and one Romanian rescue. Until you get involved and really see what horrors the Romanian pound dogs go through its easy to say "just get a UK rescue". The shelter that my dog came from is just wire cages with iron roofs. In summer its 40•, in winter there is snow on the ground for months and it's -15. The dogs have a wooden pallet to sleep on and no blankets. They get fed and watered once a week. Many die slowly of starvation or cold. My friend actually rents a local kennel and tries to get as many out as possible and into the kennels. They are neutered, injected. Flea'd and wormed before coming over. Home checks are important as ideally we don't want dogs returned (we do get the odd one returned and have fosterers in the UK). The UK rescue I used weren't half as efficient or sensible. I've been involved with this rescue for a couple of years and most dogs settle to their new lives v v quickly, however you obviously must be prepared for issues to arrive occasionally and do training. Overall it's amazing how dogs can trust again quickly after a bad time.

I've much more issue with people that buy a designer dog or pedigree "because it's safer" and don't take advice, or actually have the right life for a dog, they just want one, then ten months later "can't cope" and put the dog up for rehoming.

Saw you said you're in North Scotland, I'd recommend trying the Scottish Greyhound Sanctuary, they're brilliant :)

My Rommie

In your local pound there will be scores of dogs with days left to live before being put to sleep. Please pick one of them.

I was talking to a vet the other day and apparently there is a big puppy farm trade in Romania. There is a lot of concern that the puppy farmers are importing puppies as rescues. The vet profession are also concerned about diseases being imported along with the rescues, diseases not normally found in this country.
If I was adopting from abroad I would need to thoroughly research the organisation.

You absolutely do need to research the organisation. Our Rommie dogs have loads of health checks and injections. I'm sure there are puppy farms over there. Let's face it, there are plenty of unhealthy puppies from UK puppy farms in the UK too. 😓

We got our dog from the rspca. She wasn't at our local branch but because it's a national organisation this wasn't a problem and they arranged for someone more local to do our home check. Obviously we had to travel further to visit her but that was ok.

Susie, I'm glad you managed to find your wonderful fur babies despite struggling the rescue route. I promise not all rescues are the same (some are dreadful and shouldn't even be allowed to call themselves rescues, but that's another story!).

Some rescues have a blanket ban like that because animals being left all day (and it's not unusual to hear of them being crated for up to 12/13 hours) is one of the biggest reasons for people dumping their pets. They start out thinking it will all be ok and the pet will be fine, but when it turns out not to be fine and the cat or dog starts to be destructive in the home then they're dumped back at the rescue and the rescue is left to pick up the pieces. A lot of potential adopters promise that they'll get dog walkers in during the day and then don't, then the dog gets dumped again, and another thing we found during the last major recession was that when times are hard luxuries like dog walkers, and pets themselves were the first to go.

I'm not suggesting all potential adopters who work full time wouldn't be able to offer a fabulous home because many would (so I, personally, tend to view things on a case-by-case basis) but that may be why you've had problems in the past with the rescue having a blanket ban. They genuinely want to do what's in the best interests of the animals. It's horrible, I suppose having to play God in a way like that, deciding where animals end up and determining what kind of life they'll have. Even though I try my best to do the right thing for the animals in my care I personally struggle to sleep every night worrying in case I've done the wrong thing and an animal is going to have a life of misery because of me! I just can't switch off.

You do find that doing this job affects you profoundly. Most genuine people in rescue are passionate people with lots of sad stories to share. It affects us all in different ways. We tend to see a lot of cruelty and it can make you very angry and mistrusting of people, and that can affect your judgement sometimes when you're faced with a potential home that could be fantastic but just as easily be dreadful. Please go easy on us! Argh, this rescue business is tough!!!

I know that Lurcher Link can organise bringing a dog to you, I would definitely speak to them, especially if you're interested in adopting a greyhound. However they told us they wouldn't rehome a puppy to a flat, for the same reasons as the Romanian rescue (difficulties in toilet training). But they will rehome the right dog to a flat, so adults that are ok with stairs and already toilet trained etc.

I really feel for you OP, I think you've been very unlucky with this particular dog and I suspect that they probably had more than 1 home offer for that dog, they chose the other home based on circumstances but at any other time you would have probably been successful.

I've been fostering Cyprus rescues for a few years now, sometimes we have lots of interest and have to chose the best possible home from the ones offered, it doesn't mean that you're unsuitable, just that there was a slightly better offer on the table and they had to choose

I've had to retire from fostering because we decided to keep out last foster, 4 dogs is enough! Here's my gang!

*our last foster

willdo Romanian puppy farmers are not importing puppies as rescues though are they? How would they make money on that?
They are selling them as pedigrees in the same way as UK based puppy farmers do.
They might smuggle them in as rescues but is it likely that someone trying to rehome a dog in need would end up with one?

Surely they will be selling for ££££££

Oh Jennie that picture is unbelievably cute!

Lots of great, helpful posts on this thread, but it's sad to see some really ignorant ones, too.

I own both UK and Romanian rescues and have only had good experiences. Depending on your specific circumstances and where you are in the country, it can be difficult to find a suitable rescue dog from the UK, especially if you are looking for a puppy. And actually, that's a good sign - while there are still countless cruelty and neglect cases in the UK, on the whole, our society's attitude to dog ownership is so much better than in many other places.

You won't find many street dogs breeding unhindered in the UK, and the majority of people here don't abandon their pets because they're going on holiday/don't want to pay vet bills/have spotted a cuter dog etc etc. Saying that, two of my UK rescues had been 'given up' by their owner because they were old and in need of veterinary treatment.

If you want to adopt a dog from abroad, ask for recommendations from other adopters and go with a charity that is happy to answer all your questions.

The SPCA have centres all over Scotland, why not have a look for your local branch.

This experience sounds very very disappointing for you but maybe it's a chance to reconsider. You live in a flat, up a flight of stairs, in the city centre and with no car. These are not ideal conditions especially for a puppy. I have an 11 week old GSD puppy, he already weighs 10kilos and we carry him up and down the stairs twice a day. He needs to go out for a wee every half hour when he is awake but it is warm here so it's easier to leave the door open for direct access (one of us still needs to go with him to encourage him and then praise him). We live in the middle of the countryside so it's easy to do 2-3 off lead 15 minute walks a day plus take him out in the car for one socialisation trip a day.

I'm dog broody reading this thread.

Keep checking dogsblog op. Some rescues will help provide travel if you're far away

There are plenty of dogs in the uk that need homes.

There is also a rise in disease not usually reported in the uk. It is becoming a seriius issue.

It's disappointing and they don't sound terribly professional but at the end of the day it's not about you - it's about the dog. It sounds as if the person you've been in contact with has had the rose tinted glasses on, and when she's spoken to the homechecker they've said no way is your property suitable. Only very specific dogs will be able to cope in a city centre flat and it would be massively risky for them to place an animal that's had a difficult start there. Also will your neighbours be OK with dogs in the shared garden?

Does it have to be a dog? Wouldn't a cat be better for you given your current set up? There are plenty of rescues who have indoor only cats needing homes.