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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the abortion rate will increase after April this year?

930 replies

RocketQueenP · 21/02/2017 17:07

When the new rules on tax credits / universal credit come in ie when no one can claim benefit be it top up or otherwise for any more than 2 children

Sadly I am helping a good friend cope who has just had an early abortion, she did not plan the pregnancy and one of the main reasons is she and her DH are low earners/ They already have 2 at school, and won't be able to afford to have this baby. She is devastated and has admitted they could have squeezed another DC in if it wasn't for the new rules. I think this will happen a lot. :(

In times gone by people would adopt out children that were unplanned that they couldn't afford and I really feel that this is what we are headed back to. Not adoption but, you get my drift

I also think the government fully know this and its one of the reasons they have brought it in. Simple population control Angry

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CosyNook · 24/02/2017 08:17

'Living in social housing'......where you live has an impact on how people live. I live in the north where housing is cheap and where people on lower incomes can still afford to buy. But there are generations of families in this area who will never be in this position.

There is also a huge drive to raise the aspirations of children, so where a child may have followed the same route as the parent now education has improved, authorities are focusing on outcomes, health is better etc.

EnormousTiger · 24/02/2017 10:39

My daughter's friends father (middle eastern immigrant) got his social housing (single man no children at home so you would have thought bottom of anyone's list) apparently because of someone he knew at the council so don't assume in all areas of the country it is hard to get! Obviously he doesn't really work (although he could). However I agree that in most areas of the country social housing is hard to get.

splendide · 24/02/2017 10:40

Why is it obvious he doesn't work Lydia?

splendide · 24/02/2017 10:41

Sorry, ET.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 24/02/2017 10:49

tiger

Perhaps your daughters friends dad doesn't want you to know that he has a health issue like significant mental health problems.

That would normally be the criteria for a single person with no resident kids to obtain social housing.

And given how the system works it is almost impossible for someone to get one they are not entitled to because of someone on the inside.

They are allocated through a bidding system you can only bid on what you are entitled to.

It's also possible he gas a hard to let property which would be subject to different rules.

Owlzes · 24/02/2017 12:00

EnormousTiger - definitely sounds like someone pretending that everything is fine when it isn't. I wonder if there's a significant cultural pressure on him too to not admit to a serious mental illness, for example. Certainly, if he isn't working and living in social housing, that sounds to me like someone who is vulnerable and has been recognized as such.

Dawndonnaagain · 24/02/2017 12:03

You do not get housing by knowing someone on the council, what utter nonsense.

Dawndonnaagain · 24/02/2017 12:04

Inter-generational welfare dependency is a huge issue.
Well, I suppose it would be if it actually existed.

KondosSecretJunkRoom · 24/02/2017 12:44

Inter-generational welfare

I mid-thread this on my 'threads I'm on' as intergenerational warfare and thought things were really kicking off. Worryingly though it doesn't seem too unlikely a response to not be plausible.

KondosSecretJunkRoom · 24/02/2017 12:45

Mis-read

EnormousTiger · 24/02/2017 13:02

Utter waster who screws the system dry. That does not mean I think most people do; they don't. A lot of us however know a few people like that.

PortiaCastis · 24/02/2017 13:04

I don't know anyone like that Tiger and I won't pretend that I do

Dawndonnaagain · 24/02/2017 13:21

Neither do I, Portia.
Neither do I, ET.

splendide · 24/02/2017 14:18

Really Tiger? You know a few people like that? Where are you meeting them? The Pinner Residents Association?

Want2bSupermum · 24/02/2017 15:15

I know a few people who have played the system. The come from traditional middle class families and are on paper single parents.

One friend it's really bad. The father of the their kids isn't on any of the paperwork but lives with his parents on paper. In reality of course they live together. I also know he owns the house she lives in and the housing benefit she receives is paying for his home.

She works FT, gets a lot of help with childcare through tax credits and pays zero housing costs. Meeting her you would never know.

What does frustrate me is that I would never report her. You just don't grass your friend in. She is doing it for all the right reasons as her job doesn't pay much and she doesn't want to be dependent on him. I get it. At the same time I want to shake her and report her. The problem with that is she would be the one who suffers and not her boyfriend (who is the one pushing for all this dishonesty).

Want2bSupermum · 24/02/2017 15:19

Oh and then there is the girl I went to school with who was orphaned when she was 12. She is now 36 with 5 kids from 3 relationships. She has never worked.

What she needed at 18 was a support system to help her through an incredibly tough period when you have no parents. Never got any help and now we are paying a fortune out in benefits and the poor girl clearly has MH issues which still have not been addressed.

It's easy to say what others should do etc but knowing my friend and what she has been through it's criminal that we don't have systems in place to help kids like her not end up where she is today.

DanGleballs · 24/02/2017 20:53

I have met plenty of people who have loads of kids so they can claim more. Even my exfil told me to knock out a couple more kids and claim. Actually all five of exfil's kids work. They are all fairly damaged though, the sons have anger issues hence the ex bit. Probably about five of the mums I knew from my kids primary school. A sort of distant relative in law has five, she wants to be entitled to a larger house. She was massively pissed off when her eldest decided to live with his dad as it reduced her points. Her primary school daughter has a better phone than mine. They have loads of 'things' but she hardly ever takes them out anywhere so they are stuck in an overcrowded house all day. I haven't lived in particularly rough areas either.

Catlady1976 · 24/02/2017 21:13

How depressing is this thread?
Fwiw I grew up in social housing. My dad worked in a low income jobs and my mum worked part time.
There were six of us. 3 got University degrees and did professional jobs. 2 of us were education to A level standard and had reasonable admin roles. ( me included). My final sibling probably has some sen and indeed spent some time in a "special school".
I was lucky enough to buy my own home before prices rose.
So it does not necessarily follow that low income families will grow up in social housing with no work ethic.
Although incidentally I am a Sah now
But we receive no benefits and would happily pay an extra penny on income tax to support the vulnerable in society and inject some cash into the NHS.
The irony is that do many people on here say that benefits should be there to support people who fall on hard times. Yet the Government are reducing widowed parents allowance considerably and removing support for more than 2 DC for new claimants whose DC are already born.
Wrong wrong wrong.

PollytheDolly · 24/02/2017 21:18

*One friend it's really bad. The father of the their kids isn't on any of the paperwork but lives with his parents on paper. In reality of course they live together. I also know he owns the house she lives in and the housing benefit she receives is paying for his home.

She works FT, gets a lot of help with childcare through tax credits and pays zero housing costs. Meeting her you would never know.*

You see, if this kind of thing stopped then this 2 child rule, which may cripple some, may not have been introduced.

Your friend needs some morals.

Difficult for you I understand.

Want2bSupermum · 24/02/2017 23:06

polly If housing was affordable they wouldn't be doing this. They earn about £60k a year between them. With 2 DC she would be earning less than the cost of childcare.

What they are doing is a symptom. It's not right I agree but they are doing what they consider necessary to provide for their children. If we lived in the U.K. I wouldn't earn enough to cover the childcare bill and I'm a qualified accountant.

It is absolutely ridiculous that someone who is a qualified accountant doesn't earn enough to cover childcare for 3 DC.

Dawndonnaagain · 24/02/2017 23:37

Yay, it's anecdata time!

Chickennuggetfeeder · 25/02/2017 07:16

Thats ridiculous we earn much less £27000 a year between us yes we get a small amount of help with tax crets but dont need to play the system like that. What they are doing is wrong and they are the reason genuine people get tarred with the same brush of being cheating scroungers who are living the high life on benefits.

Original poster
RocketQueenP · 25/02/2017 08:57

There are people who "play the system" but they are very few and few between!

Why should everyone in need suffer because a tiny percentage take the piss!!

Also agree that if cost of living wasn't so high it wouldn't be an issue. In the past DH and I have claimed tax credits, we were still getting some when our total income was over 25k.

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PortiaCastis · 25/02/2017 10:18

It's amazing how much folk know about others financial affairs.

Original poster
RocketQueenP · 25/02/2017 13:11

I know Portia 😂

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