To think the abortion rate will increase after April this year?

[RocketQueenP]

When the new rules on tax credits / universal credit come in ie when no one can claim benefit be it top up or otherwise for any more than 2 children

Sadly I am helping a good friend cope who has just had an early abortion, she did not plan the pregnancy and one of the main reasons is she and her DH are low earners/ They already have 2 at school, and won't be able to afford to have this baby. She is devastated and has admitted they could have squeezed another DC in if it wasn't for the new rules. I think this will happen a lot. :(

In times gone by people would adopt out children that were unplanned that they couldn't afford and I really feel that this is what we are headed back to. Not adoption but, you get my drift

I also think the government fully know this and its one of the reasons they have brought it in. Simple population control

'And if there was more in the welfare pot we could afford to support families with children with disabilities better.'

I'm afraid this will never happen no matter who's in power because disabled people are seen as unimportant. Do you not find it strange that the Tories have no problem finding massive tax cuts for the rich whilst making the poorest poorer? Disabled people are never going to be a priority and they weren't under New Labour either.

You obviously weren't around when I was. I've reminisced about the decades a few weeks back. Although even in the 90's I honestly don't think it was that different, maybe then people were starting to say, is there more to this than meets the eye.

There definitely wasn't CAMHS in my day. There's a book I'm reading about a girl who ended up in a children's asylum who had horrific tests done on her.

Not to upset you, but that is the reality faced by many mentally ill children in the 60's/70's/80's - off to a naughty kids home or asylum where Dr's believe that shoving electricity through the brain would rid these problems.

If you don't believe me watch the Enfield Haunting. She had ECT as they thought it would 'cure' whatever was happening.

I find it weird that people talk about having kids like they are luxury items. These kids grow up to be people who will work and pay taxes.

Lottie you do seem to be taking this personally, when it honestly isn't aimed at you. I can't imagine what it is like being in the shoes of a disabled parent. No one begrudges you support or advocacy.

It's people who can work who think yuk that's beneath me or it's not worth it financially.

Actually I was born in 1980. I certainly remember what life appeared to be like for children at school whose parent(s) couldn't afford to even buy them a coat.

ScarfEast1cated - of course children are luxury items and the reality is not all kids grow up to be people who will work and pay taxes.

I'm not taking it personally. If you have a disabled family member you have to fight for every.little.thing. That's just a fact - I'm sure most others in my position will agree.

ScarfEast1cated as previously established in this thread 60% of households are net beneficiaries to the tax/benefits system. Children from poorer families do less well than their wealthier peers on pretty much all (measured) life outcomes, health, education and income.

Obviously they might make other non financial contributions but I am not aware of any studies into this.

straightflush if you lose your job or your OH buggers off you may find you'll eat your words !

Straightflush - so you're saying that the majority of children whose parents earn under £40k a year are a 'drain on society?' You sound lovely(!)

There's always one charming poster who pops up on these types of threads and merails them with personal anecdote after anecdote.

Well technically lottie she is saying anyone who gets child benefit

So even those on a sliding scale of up to 60k or a joint household wage of nearly 100k are benefit scrounging scum bags

I know you didnt say that straight but thats what a lot of people jump to when they hear the word benefits

I cant wait til my next book club so i can tell all my friends that their children are a drain on society

Should liven it up

When I was a student in the 70s I had a summer job with a play programme for teenagers in a MH institution, about 50 of them, chronologically aged between 13 and 17 with a spectrum of learning and behavioural disabilities, but all sufficiently severe that their families had been unable or unwilling to cope. These days, to judge by the extent of the needs described just in this thread, most of those adolescents would have remained in the community to be cared for at home.

I don't pretend to know what % of the population is regarded as having SN (I know, I could Google) but I perceive it as much higher today. Can anyone explain why? Is it better diagnosis? Or the improvement in ante- and neo-natal care that does better at keeping premature, brain-damaged and physically handicapped babies alive for longer? (I apologise for the use of the word "handicapped"; am sure there's a preferred correct word.)

And if there was more in the welfare pot we could afford to support families with children with disabilities better.
Hahaha!
Would that involve paying Carer's a living wage. I doubt it.
Would it involve not calling back people whose condition is never going to change, thereby ensuring they don't suffer with stress, feel harassed and save the government money at the same time. I doubt it.
Perhaps it would involve the arses not calling in suicidal folk, even when there's evidence, to a mental health assessment within four weeks of their last attempt. I doubt it.
I have been fighting for years for every tiny, minuscule thing my dc required and still I'm fighting. It's hard, it can be soul destroying. But hey, I'm benefit scrounging scum, if not on this thread, then definitely on all the others. Nobody cares about the disabled or those who care for them. Not one government. It's marginally better with some governments and profoundly worse under others, but we're still marginalised, othered. More so now than ever.

OC - there is now an emphasis on mainstreaming children with SEN. Although my 15 year dd is particularly (unusually) severely autistic. Charlotte Moore, who has two autistic sons says in her book 'George and Sam' that you see far more children today who appear to be autistic. I don't think better diagnosis is the reason. Most people have to fight for a diagnosis.

Well the thread is about us carers of disabled children elvish because many of us are reliant on tax credits. The previously planned tax credits, which were thankfully scrapped, would have had the biggest impact on families with disabled children who were in receipt of tax credits with one parent working.

^^previosuly planned tax credit cuts.

OC, I think it's a mixture. In the 1960s my father (psychiatrist) was instrumental in getting more children with disabilities into the community and in positive day centres doing great things rather than locked away in institutions. Also we have better medicine so babies survive more often. My baby sister died. I am not sure she would have died if born today.

Of course no one likes to hear that these changes to two children benefits for new children will mean more money in the pot for disabled children but that is the case. I don't know if anyone watches the Call the Midwife on BBC1 but last week it featured a boy with down's syndrome and showed the major changes happening then - people starting to press to a better environment . It was uncannily similar to my father's work at the time.

Locally in the LA I think there was 2 schools, one for severely severely disabled children, the other for significant learning difficulties. My sibling was considered able but behaviourally a nightmare, so stayed in mainstream school.

In my DD's year there's kids with an array of disabilities who fought for inclusion over a straight, no your child has to go to a specialist school. This includes a mute child. So attitudes have changed significantly, it's a really positive thing.

Luckily in a way my siblings ASD impacts them more socially, but they still work, but you would say the job is perfect for a person with ASD.

As for the % then verses now, in teens, oh God I'm going to get shot, it does appear for a certain demographic it's like a badge of honour to have MH issues and to be 1000 days self harm free. Before you send me for execution, I feel this deflects from those who really really are struggling and can't dream of being free from self harm, suicidal ideation, severe mental health issues. That is what truly annoys me, you have genuine kids that could get more support, if it wasn't for the ones who see it as a blip almost. I've seen severe self harm and mental health issues, a lot of onus is put on community care, with very little opportunity for rest. Like a weekend for the affected person in a place where they'd receive the care they need.

There's this whole gender thing, vegan thing, then we have eating disorders, I'm not talking about your skeletal anorexic being tube fed. But the people who may binge on drink or food. As a young adult I ate pizza till I felt sick, it was not knowing when to stop. Now that has a title that many self diagnose.

I look forward to the day one of my children tells me that gender is a social construct. I'll fully support them with what ever path they fancy taking a walk down. The vegan thing I really hope to never pop up.

For younger children ASD is apparent at an early age usually, so diagnosed and support put in place. Occasionally it can be later that it's apparent, so then you have the waiting lists, trying to get support in place. Bit of a nightmare.

ADHD I don't really know, it's not an area I've overly studied.

I think most parents worry if their child acts out there could be an underlying cause. We had a problematic pregnancy and birth, it's a miracle DC is unscathed. But their behaviour was actually the result of severe bullying.

No one would deny a parent of a disabled child support in any form. I can't see how they would be affected as they already receive support surely? If there is a change of circumstances is that seen as a fresh start or should I say new claim?

Elvish would you stop spouting such horse shit. Support doesn't just get 'put in place' for children with ASD - it really doesn't. Unless you fight tooth and nail, and often go to tribunal you get given nothing, or the cheapest inadequate option the council feels like. I have had to go to tribunal twice and engage a solicitor three times to get my dd what she needs.

Parents don't fight for inclusion, they fight for specialist school places.

As for the self harm comment I have no words.

Go and educate yourself before posting reams and reams of nonsense.

I had a valid opinion. It broke none of the rules. I'm actually really nice Maybe the person who suggested I'm unpleasant should have their post removed as that actually DOES break an MN rule (personal attacks)
Freedom of speech is allowed just so long as you agree with the majority and toe the line? I don't claim benefits. When I did used to qualify for child benefit I gave it to charity because I didn't need it. My father does the same with his heating allowance...but hey, haters gonna hate lol

Elvish DS has ASD and is in a specialist class within a MS school here in the US. It is how inclusion is supposed to work IMO/IME. There are now 6 kids in his class. The whole class is designed with SEN in mind. The teacher has a MEd in Special Ed with specific training in ABA therapy. For 6 DC there are at least 3 aides and at least one therapist in the room.

We are looking to move back to the UK and can't because the LA wants DS to go into a regular class. There is absolutely no way that he would cope with that. It is awful to see your DC fall apart when it can and should be so easily prevented.

The worst part of all of this is that we do have the money to pay for our own place at the specialist school but the specialist school won't consider our son without the LA allocating him a spot. The LA won't allocate him a spot that we pay for without him first attending a regular school and proving that he needs to be in the specialist school.

Lottie Our experience in the US has been that the provision for SEN beats the socks off what is available in the UK. Our son has access to school district speech, occupational and physical therapists. He is now doing music and art therapy plus, the G&T team are helping stretch the kids who are high functioning. Our G&T team are from a university and the deal is we get their brains in exchange for research subjects of SEN DC. It works brilliantly and I wish there was more of that type of arrangement in the UK.

Obviously not everything is peaches and roses here but they do get SEN right and SEN here includes behavioural, emotional and functional. A child (under 18) with an eating disorder (considered emotional if anorexia and behavioural if bulimia which I find odd) would have psychological treatment through the school district, not via their medical insurance here in New Jersey. I don't know about other states but its a federal law that care has to be provided.

Honestly half of the problems here in the US with MH is that these people don't know how to relax. I took my team out dancing and to a karaoke bar. Quite a typical night out in the UK. These guys are still talking about it 3 months later. Partners want me running a few more nights out for the team and they want to join in the fun. Those who are 23 years old are behaving like they are 50.

straight

You have been deleted

You should really report the 'unpleasant' quote so that can be deleted