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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To burn my sons exgf stuff....

277 replies

imnotpregnantanymore · 21/02/2017 03:29

After shes burnt all of his and publicly shamed him on facefook.

He left quite a bit with her. New clothes that i had brought for him and she wore and never brought back. PS3 and PS4 games,music cds,and sone other peraonal items including a blanket his grandmother gave him as a baby.
He tried to arrange to get them back. She went total bitch on him. Shes burnt them. Put pics alongside nasty comments regarding it all.
The girls fukin bitch mother has also liked the pics.

So... aibu to do the same but minus the silly public pics and comments. My son is all for it.
Im fuming Angry

OP posts:
Paninotogo · 21/02/2017 07:35

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Velvian · 21/02/2017 07:36

I think you should report to the police with the hope that it will make her realise the stupidity and seriousness pf her actions. I would hope it doesn't go further than that though; they are still kids playing at grown up things.
Your poor ds, it sounds very unfair. I guess she is repeating what she sees romantic relationships are like.

hmcAsWas · 21/02/2017 07:36

User1477282676 and lorelairoryemily - its massively ignorant and crass to correct other posters spelling, grammar etc. You wouldn't do it in real life (unless you enjoy risking a sock in the gob), so don't do it here.

As other posters have said - contact the police. I'm not going to join in the "are you 12 / grow up" comments though because I try not to be pointlessly unpleasant just for the thrill of it

MrsWhiteWash · 21/02/2017 07:37

For the police, this ought to be an easy win - she's put the evidence of theft and/or criminal damage online. Report it to them, including a repeat report of the threat.

^^This

Plus think about putting a small claim in
www.gov.uk/make-court-claim-for-money/overview

Plus I'd box everything of her up and put it in the loft out the way and be a busy for a while if/when she wants them back - though given her actions I doubt she has left anything she cares about.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 21/02/2017 07:37

She threatened to kill him ?

Police and read up on the abuse laws before you do so . The calmer and more professional you handle it with the police i.e.

'She said A which is in direct contravention of law 12 in abuse '

I am not being a pedant but you will get a response if you contact them in a professional sounding way Flowers

Good luck and your son is well well rid Flowers

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 21/02/2017 07:39

Such a shame they broke up, they sound perfect for each other. Both as rough as fuck

Is it national internet-cunt day ? I must have missed the memo 📝

OnionKnight · 21/02/2017 07:41

The OP's son sounds rough as fuck, how does he? Hmm

There's some right twunts on here lately.

clarrylove · 21/02/2017 07:42

So they split 4 months ago but she still had his stuff? Is it possible she thought he didn't want it? Did he try and retrieve it? She could probably argue it had been abandoned.

Fadingmemory · 21/02/2017 07:42

Two wrongs... Contact the police. Keep her belongings, otherwise you may both be prosecuted. She has done something dreadful but try to woman up, no matter how you feel. Sympathy to your son, especially re his baby blanket. Stay away from Facebook.

Skooba · 21/02/2017 07:43

I would be celebrating that she is out of his life and he has had a massive life lesson -
He will probably not be so naive in future.
He will probably ensure that his GF is sane in future
He will probably take a while to get into a close relationship in future
He will probably be much less likely to be manipulated in future.

Great lessons.
Just be pleased he is now where he is at and forget it.

Soubriquet · 21/02/2017 07:44

Yes contact the police

If she's going to be all hard arse and do the crime, she can suffer the consequences too

clarrylove · 21/02/2017 07:44

At the time I would've encouraged him to return her belongings and collect his through her parents if neessary. I can't see it was going to end any other way after this long.

Paninotogo · 21/02/2017 07:45

because he wanted to burn her stuff. That is pretty fucking rough.

PovertyJetset · 21/02/2017 07:47

It's criminal damage and you have proof. Call the police?

Givemeallthechocolate · 21/02/2017 07:49

Can I ask what has happened recently for her to go all psycho and burn his stuff? They split up quite a few months ago!

I'd just phone the police, teach your son that she's a nasty girl and to keep away from ones like her, not to become the same sort of person. However tempting it may be.

Must be horrible for your son knowing that everyone has seen that she's set stuff on fire, but deep down, most people on her facebook probably think she's a nasty piece of work.

ddssdd · 21/02/2017 07:55

Bought, brought..I think we all knew what she meant...And just sounds a bit shitty to correct her, when she is clearly upset. I digress..

OP, whatever they've done, do not try & match it. Your son's gf has exhibited criminal behaviour, your son hasn't. Take screenshots of fb posts & ring the non-emergency line to see what your son's options are. When the anger has died down, you will be pleased that you did not sink to their level.

elodie2000 · 21/02/2017 08:02

Wow...a relationship played out on Facebook.

Best thing to do in this situation if you won't report it to the Poilce OP?
Walk away. Block on FB, stop looking at her page/ her friend's page and walk away.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 21/02/2017 08:03

because he wanted to burn her stuff. That is pretty fucking rough.

After she has burnt his stuff and made death threats! Pretty sure reacting to that doesn't make you 'pretty fucking rough'!

WarblingWail · 21/02/2017 08:17

You sound over involved. Why can't your son deal with this himself?

WarblingWail · 21/02/2017 08:19

Also, why haven't you both blocked her on Facebook if she's been making death threats? Just stop all contact.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 21/02/2017 08:22

You sound over involved. Why can't your son deal with this himself?

Pretty sure quite a few parents would be involved if their 18/19 year old was getting death threats tbh.

WarblingWail · 21/02/2017 08:31

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Iamastonished · 21/02/2017 08:33

I never got over involved in any of DD's relationships until she got depressed, stopped eating and started self harming due to one that went badly wrong.

I suspect those telling the OP to stay out if it have never had to deal with the fall out of their teenage child's relationship.

I agree that screenshot and police is the way forward.

OnionKnight · 21/02/2017 08:34

Oh sweet Jesus.

whattodowiththepoo · 21/02/2017 08:35

It feels like some people on mumsnet could never show sympathy for a boy, even if he has done nothing wrong.

OP- it's understandable to be pissed, going on what you have said the girl and her mother are shitty people who have both been part of hurting your son.

Selling or destroying her stuff might seem like a good idea but the best thing is to keep it safe and contact the police with all of the evidence you have.

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