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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To burn my sons exgf stuff....

277 replies

imnotpregnantanymore · 21/02/2017 03:29

After shes burnt all of his and publicly shamed him on facefook.

He left quite a bit with her. New clothes that i had brought for him and she wore and never brought back. PS3 and PS4 games,music cds,and sone other peraonal items including a blanket his grandmother gave him as a baby.
He tried to arrange to get them back. She went total bitch on him. Shes burnt them. Put pics alongside nasty comments regarding it all.
The girls fukin bitch mother has also liked the pics.

So... aibu to do the same but minus the silly public pics and comments. My son is all for it.
Im fuming Angry

OP posts:
PigletWasPoohsFriend · 21/02/2017 10:52

tbh sitting on your driveway screaming isn't actually a crime afaik

Threatening someone is though.

HTH

PhoebeGetsIt · 21/02/2017 10:53

The best revenge your son can dish out is to cut all contact, find someone else and be happy.

badtime · 21/02/2017 10:54

Actually, Freddorika, 'sitting on your driveway screaming' could be a crime, depending on the circumstances. It could come under harassment or maybe a public order offence (e.g. threatening behaviour).

badtime · 21/02/2017 10:54

Crosspost with Piglet.

badtime · 21/02/2017 10:55

*a different public order offence

Megatherium · 21/02/2017 10:56

What do you guys reckon?

Do what everyone is advising, for goodness sake, and report her to the police. If you're not prepared to do that, just get yourself right out of the situation and ignore it.

Birdsgottaf1y · 21/02/2017 10:56

""tbh sitting on your driveway screaming isn't actually a crime afaik""

If they can claim that it could cause alarm, or distress, to others then it is.

I've got relatives who behave like this and I just won't drop to their level.

I set my own standards of behaviour and won't allow someone whose behaviour is below mine to alter that.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 21/02/2017 11:00

Some people are just crazy. My DD broke up with a lad who then went out with a psycho girl. Even though DD was his ex and totally not interested any more, this girl was still jealous and set out to make DD's life a misery; absolute loony tune.

DD got very friendly with a very handsome charming boy over the next few weeks. He told her that he hadn't had a relationship for two years because he had previously been out with, yes you've guessed it, psycho girl and she had been so awful when they broke up. DD made the choice to not take things any further with nice boy because of what psycho girl might do.

She sees her ex around and says he's like a shell of the lad he was before.

Trainspotting1984 · 21/02/2017 11:03

Oh for goodness sake forget about the police and whether someone committed a crime and try and move on with your lives. Your son chose a bad 'un, it's happens.

Freddorika · 21/02/2017 11:04

*tbh sitting on your driveway screaming isn't actually a crime afaik

Threatening someone is though.

HTH*

not without evidence it isnt

HTH

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 21/02/2017 11:05

Oh for goodness sake forget about the police and whether someone committed a crime and try and move on with your lives. Your son chose a bad 'un, it's happens.

Looking forward to posters saying that on threads where women say their exs have threatened to kill them.

BillSykesDog · 21/02/2017 11:07

trainspotting would you say that to a woman?

Do report it to the police. They split up months ago and it's still escalating so you want it on record incase it continues.

badtime · 21/02/2017 11:07

Freddorika, you mean like when it was witnessed by the OP, her family, some passers-by and probably (although it's not clear that they actually witnessed the yelling and death-threats), the police themselves?

You don't think that is evidence?

BoneyBackJefferson · 21/02/2017 11:07

PigletWasPoohsFriend

Looking forward to posters saying that on threads where women say their exs have threatened to kill them.

Yup. me too.

Hisstory · 21/02/2017 11:11

I can't believe some of the crappy replies the OP has had in hear. Some posters come across as really unpleasant. I also can't believe the 'victim' blaming posts - there would be such offering responses if the sexes were reversed.

OP - I'd feel like burning the stuff too but I wouldn't, I think I'd report it to the police. Please carry on supporting your son - he sounds like he needs it. Good luck.

Hisstory · 21/02/2017 11:12

Ughh too many typos

TinklyLittleLaugh · 21/02/2017 11:15

Psycho girl did things to DD like waiting until her boyfriend had gone to the bar, calling DD over for a friendly chat and then when boy came back, sobbing to him that DD had marched over and started laying into her. When DD got wise to her tricks and started keeping out of her way, she physically attacked her in the pub loos. And was then all sweetness and light in front of everyone else.

DD was glad to go away to Uni. But when she came home for Christmas, psycho girl told the bouncers at her favourite club that she was dealing drugs. DD was taken to a room and searched (obviously they found nothing) and then thrown out of the club for voicing her objections.

I've warned her to keep a very wide berth. Some people are just evil.

WarblingWail · 21/02/2017 11:18

My response would have been completely different had op included the fact that they had already called the police in the op.

What have the police advised, op?

ZippyNeedsFeeding · 21/02/2017 11:30

Given that she has a history of fairly extreme behaviour, reporting it to the police will help to establish a pattern and if there are any more incidents they will be able to intervene much sooner.
It doesn't need to be about revenge, but it is a sensible way for your son to protect himself, OP. How is he doing?

Trainspotting1984 · 21/02/2017 11:31

It has nothing to do with whether I'd say it to a woman, you're getting carried away by the idea of a phone call (to the police) and distracting from the actual situation. It's a simple point whether she's done it or not, the real point is it's not OP it's her adult son and they need to deal with it. Stalking on FB and getting involved is childish

Rae82 · 21/02/2017 11:32

This makes me so angry! The 'replaceable stuff' isn't the end of the world, but the blanket from Grandma is something that money can't buy. I would go to the police. :(

F1GI · 21/02/2017 11:37

you know what OP, I would be the bigger person.
id bag up her stuff and go and leave it on her doorstep
take a photo of it sitting there so you can't be accused of not giving it back

they'll be expectign you to burn it or charity shop it or bin it but it might give them a jolt into thinking what assholes they are if you actually just return it like a decent human being

just becaseu others behave like cunts doesn't mean you have to turn yousefl into the same

Gottagetmoving · 21/02/2017 11:43

It is an opportunity to teach your son to be the better person, not go along with acting like a vandal.
But mostly,...back off.... He is 18 and shouldn't need a mummy to fight his battles.

BoneyBackJefferson · 21/02/2017 11:44

Trainspotting1984

It's a simple point whether she's done it or not,

and the police are the best to find out

the real point is it's not OP it's her adult son and they need to deal with it.

Yes and he should ring the police for them to sort it.

BillSykesDog · 21/02/2017 11:44

Again trainspotting would you tell the relative of a woman suffering abuse that they shouldn't support her because she's an adult so it's her problem? Or refer to gathering evidence of criminal acts committed against her as 'stalking'?

I just find it sickening that in a place where the most trivial events occurring to women are labelled abuse, a man experiencing abuse gets told he should just man up and get over it.