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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To burn my sons exgf stuff....

277 replies

imnotpregnantanymore · 21/02/2017 03:29

After shes burnt all of his and publicly shamed him on facefook.

He left quite a bit with her. New clothes that i had brought for him and she wore and never brought back. PS3 and PS4 games,music cds,and sone other peraonal items including a blanket his grandmother gave him as a baby.
He tried to arrange to get them back. She went total bitch on him. Shes burnt them. Put pics alongside nasty comments regarding it all.
The girls fukin bitch mother has also liked the pics.

So... aibu to do the same but minus the silly public pics and comments. My son is all for it.
Im fuming Angry

OP posts:
londonrach · 21/02/2017 05:09

Police. Dont lower yourself to her level.

MongerTruffle · 21/02/2017 05:41

TheresABluebird Did you miss the point about the xGF threatening to kill the OP's son? It's not just her burning the OP's son's possessions.

pigeondujour · 21/02/2017 05:57

" I have never yet heard of a psycho ex that hadn't been, erm, well-provoked, so maybe he will conduct himself (and the ending of his relationships) in a different way in future."

?!?!?!?!

CaoNiMa · 21/02/2017 05:59

www.itv.com/jeremykyle/be-a-guest

VintagePerfumista · 21/02/2017 06:02

Are you all aiming for a slot on Jeremy Kyle?

What you do, as the mother of an adult son, is comfort him, support him in his decision if he decides to go to the police etc etc.

Your involvement ends there.

Does he want to go to the police?

VintagePerfumista · 21/02/2017 06:02

Serendipitous cross post Grin

omnishamblesssssssssssssss · 21/02/2017 06:03

Police. Report it. Small claims court. Get money back.

She sounds bloody awful. How nice it will be for your son to eventually have a normal girlfriend!

MagicChicken · 21/02/2017 06:04

Blimey OP you sound a tad over invested in the dramatic ups and downs of a tempestuous teenage relationship. The girl sounds like an immature slightly psycho twat who'd do well on Jeremy Kyle and her mother sounds no better but you are in danger of sinking to their level. I know you don't like to see your son hurt or bad mouthed on Facebook but seriously, act like the adult you are and get some dignity, will you? Why are you concerning yourself with all the 'he said she said' nonsense and jealous bi best friends? Confused

Encourage your son to block, rise above it and move on. The stuff is gone now, you can't get it back. Chuck her stuff in the bin and forget about her.

VintagePerfumista · 21/02/2017 06:06

Why did he split up with her?

OnionKnight · 21/02/2017 06:33

I'd burn it but then I'm a cunt Grin

NormaSmuff · 21/02/2017 06:39

I would bin it, not burn it. or be even bigger and dump her stuff on her doorstep

what stuff does he have of hers?

she is wicked

GinIsIn · 21/02/2017 06:42

Also just to add, if she really is a death-threat making psycho, why would you want to antagonise her? Confused

malificent7 · 21/02/2017 06:44

'As much as the childhoid nlanket is a horrid thing to burn i dont think the police are going to see it as criminal tbh. Her flaunting it all on facebook however is horrid.

I dont think oeople should wish fear and pain on her though... just justice.

KarmaNoMore · 21/02/2017 06:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KarmaNoMore · 21/02/2017 06:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NorksAreMessy · 21/02/2017 06:58

"when they go low, we go high"

Why on earth would you want to exhibit the same behaviour that you, and everybody else, considers so reprehensible? What lesson does that show your son? Why would you think that would have any long term good outcome?

Mummyoflittledragon · 21/02/2017 06:58

I agree with contacting the police. She needs her comeuppance. The last thing your ds needs is a criminal record as she may report him. That you started this thread shows you wanted someone to tell you taking revenge in this way is a bad idea.

'Bullying is vile user 1477282676 and you shame yourself by your words'

Totally agree. Confused. Why when this thread is about bullying??

BrownEyedLady · 21/02/2017 07:02

See it as confirmation that the end of the relationship was the best outcome. Have him leave her stuff with a mutual friend (on the proviso that said friend can be trusted to to invite her round at the same time as drop off or do anything else stupid). He should be the bigger person here.

He'll be much better for it going forward.

I don't know about calling the police so that one is up to you and your son. Might be handy to have something logged with them if you think she could be motivated to do anything more than the boyfriend bonfire.

longdiling · 21/02/2017 07:04

Yes, go to the police. Especially if he has her threat to kill on a text or other message. I usually get annoyed when people say this but if the sexes were reversed and an 18 year old girl was experiencing what your son is then people would advise just that. It's horrible, abusive, threatening behaviour. Especially if it has him holed up in his room worrying about what she'll do to him next.

contractor6 · 21/02/2017 07:12

I'd call 101, if your son is worried about her further actions it may just make her think twice and head into the background. She either loves drama or she still wants him, otherwise she'd have walked away by now.

SoupDragon · 21/02/2017 07:20

'As much as the childhoid nlanket is a horrid thing to burn...

And the clothes, games, music, other personal items...?

Megatherium · 21/02/2017 07:29

For the police, this ought to be an easy win - she's put the evidence of theft and/or criminal damage online. Report it to them, including a repeat report of the threat.

Spring2016 · 21/02/2017 07:30

Sorry to hear your son has been treated this way. I would not lower yourself to her level, but would call the police and have charges laid. I know I would be filled with rage if anybody did that to my son, but you cannot give in to violent destructiveness.

Sgtmajormummy · 21/02/2017 07:32

Step away from Facebook.
Live a better life.

Take her stuff to the charity shop and tell her if she wants it back she'll have to donate to a good cause.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 21/02/2017 07:34

No ! It's a very un environmentally friendly way !

Far better to tidy and sell on local facebook page for a very low amount 'must go' Grin

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