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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be pissed off about so many of DS's teachers always getting his name wrong?

91 replies

JigglyTuff · 20/02/2017 20:30

We have a surname that has (fairly recently) become a fashionable first name - think Morgan.

DS's first name is also a name that can be a surname.

I've had two parents evenings where DS has been called Morgan in consultations in meetings and just received an email from a teacher saying that he will speak to Morgan about the issue tomorrow. This teacher has taught DS on and off for 2 years and it's a state school where teachers use pupils' first names rather than surnames.

Honestly, is it too much to ask that a teacher remembers your child's name? Particularly when the email they're replying to is entitled 'Re Marcus Morgan - 4C'.

I might reply with 'Dear Halfpenny' and see if he gets the message.

nb no real names have been used in this post.

OP posts:
VintagePerfumista · 20/02/2017 20:35

I guess that's the problem with using surnames as first names.

No biggie, surely.

Stickerrocks · 20/02/2017 20:36

YANBU but I once called someone by their surname for a whole week on a training course as that was what he had written on the seating plan. Once you start accidentally, it can be impossible to stop, as you get brain freeze over which is the correct name. It's agonising.

Shallishanti · 20/02/2017 20:36

YANBU- I know of 2 boys with the same - both their first name and surname could be exchanged- and I don't think they ever had this problem.

NavyandWhite · 20/02/2017 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PetalMettle · 20/02/2017 20:36

An Awful lot of first names can be surnames as well though, even classic things like Thomas, george, james. I don't think it's u to expect teachers to get their kids names right

elQuintoConyo · 20/02/2017 20:37

So he's called something like Jackson Morgan and the school all refer to him as Morgan?

I'd mention it EVERY SINGLE TIME that they get it wrong. Be that 1-2-1 or via e-mail. Poor boy!

KeepingOnAndOn · 20/02/2017 20:38

I'm imagining

"Lennon Jackson"
Or
"Jackson Lennon".

It was obviously going to become a problem so why do it?

RubyFlint · 20/02/2017 20:39

I would be annoyed. YANBU

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 20/02/2017 20:40

Big massive name badge for school?!

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 20/02/2017 20:40

People used to do this with my brother - and now they do it to my son. Both have first names that are in no way like a surname, but our surname is also a boys first name. I correct politely once and then start calling the person by their surname until they get the hint.

Redlocks28 · 20/02/2017 20:41

People on the baby names forum should read posts like this...

VintagePerfumista · 20/02/2017 20:41

Difference though between David Thomas and Harrison Jackson no?

All of them can be surnames. But the first two don't seem as surnamey somehow.

LadyCallandraDaviot · 20/02/2017 20:44

I went to primary school with a Spencer Lee, and he often got called Lee.

Loads of names car used as both Andrew, Pierce, James, Jackson, Harrison, Jordan, Morgan etc etc. If your surname has only recently become popular as a first name, it's a bit disingenuous of posters to suggest you should have expected it. Just point it out, every single time.

Lazyafternoon · 20/02/2017 21:06

YABU

You chose his name.

I agree with the point that why would you give your child a name like Harrison Jack (as an example) then get annoyed that people get confused?! You just have to live with the consequences of choosing a surname as a first name. Like if, in England, you use Niamh or Siobhan or any name that isn't spelt phonetically (in English) people will struggle how to spell/ pronounce it.

Interesting names are interesting, but loads of people will get it wrong. Not their fault IMHO. Traditional names aren't very exciting and you're bound to bump into a few other people with the same name, but everyone will know how to spell and pronounce it. Just one of those things and a decision to make when naming your child.

MissBeehiving · 20/02/2017 21:08

Our surname is a (not trendy) first name. Can't say it ever bothers the people in my family.

F1GI · 20/02/2017 21:08

I think this is to be expected when the names could go either way around. I'd just let it go

BeccaAnn · 20/02/2017 21:10

The only time I have trouble is when I am talking to my colleagues/ clients or suppliers in China or Singapore. I'm sure i have done the same ot them completely by accident.

However I would tell the teacher what his name is and every time they get it wrong correct them. its just plain rude!

Original poster
JigglyTuff · 20/02/2017 21:17

Some posters are misunderstanding. His first name is in the top 100 names - it's not a new name, it's an old name. It's along the lines of James, Charles etc.

The problem is our surname. When he was born, I had never heard of anyone using our surname as a first name but as he's got older, I've heard it being used. It is indeed along the lines of Jackson, Lennon etc.

So (for example) say he is called James Lennon.

Is it really unreasonable for me to expect his teachers to remember that he's called James, not Lennon? Should we have changed our surname when it suddenly became a fashionable boys' name? Confused

OP posts:
PurpleBoot · 20/02/2017 21:18

There was a girl at uni with 2 girl's first names as first name and surname. One tutor continually got mixed up and called her by her surname, she obviously found it annoying.

I think people ought to be able to remember - just keep pointing it out!

MrPoppersPenguins · 20/02/2017 21:18

A friend of mine is a teacher and has just named her son like this! My first thought was that in the future he would get called his surname. Hate to admit it but I occasionally do it at work when I'm not familiar with Asian names/surnames and sometimes the surname is written first in medical note labels. Aghhhh.

TotalPerspectiveVortex · 20/02/2017 21:18

I have a surname that sounds like another girls name but is spelled slightly differently. Where someone has persistently used my surname in the first name spelling I have been known to respond using their surname as first name. It tends to stop pretty quickly, and I've even had apologies.

If it's a one off, or an oversight I usually let it go, but when it's all the time I don't. A bit passive aggressive maybe, but it works.

Catlady1976 · 20/02/2017 21:19

Well you can't pick your surname and as others have said there are plenty of traditional 1St names which can be surnames too like James and Thomas.
School should get these things right.

HermioneJeanGranger · 20/02/2017 21:19

I think it's pretty shit that teachers don't know the names of their students, tbh. Understandable in the first week or so, but not after several years.

YANBU. It's not hard to double check if you're not sure. A one-off or with a new teacher, fine, but not constantly!

TheFairyCaravan · 20/02/2017 21:22

Our surname has become a quite a popular first name and DS1's, also top 100, is a surname. He went from YR to Year 13 without any teacher ever getting his names muddled up.

I would mention it. It would really grind my gears, it's not bloody hard to get his name right.

IlPorcupinoNilSodomyEst · 20/02/2017 21:23

It will be perfectly clear on the register and everything that comes from the school office which is his first name and which is his surname (from the SIMS record) so send a polite email reminding the teacher what his first name is - no excuse for this! (And I work in a school). There are much more complicated names in usage at the moment due to our mixed society, so it's not a big effort to remember the poor child's proper name!