AIBU to be pissed off about so many of DS's teachers always getting his name wrong?

[JigglyTuff]

We have a surname that has (fairly recently) become a fashionable first name - think Morgan.

DS's first name is also a name that can be a surname.

I've had two parents evenings where DS has been called Morgan in consultations in meetings and just received an email from a teacher saying that he will speak to Morgan about the issue tomorrow. This teacher has taught DS on and off for 2 years and it's a state school where teachers use pupils' first names rather than surnames.

Honestly, is it too much to ask that a teacher remembers your child's name? Particularly when the email they're replying to is entitled 'Re Marcus Morgan - 4C'.

I might reply with 'Dear Halfpenny' and see if he gets the message.

nb no real names have been used in this post.

I have just (cringe) found out this week that one of my colleagues has the surname Flora.

And is a bloke.

To be fair, I have only ever previously communicated with them by email.

I agree red locks 2 some are very pretentious. My hubbie read out a name he liked in a baby book for our daughter it was an extremely long Welsh name (we're not even Welsh). i think it was pronounced curedwynne or similar but I couldn't bare DD going through life with people constantly saying what was your name again, mocking her name or getting it wrong deliberately or on purpose.

I teach in a subject where I can be teaching with 150 different students in a day, that I may only see once a week. If there is an error or confusion over a name early on, it can take a long time to relearn the correct version as default.

I once had great difficulty with a forename/ surname combination. The forename happened to be the surname that I had had for my first 30 years. The surname was commonly used as a first name, and indeed both years that I taught the lad, there happened to be another lad in the room with the surname as a first name. It also didn't help that class lists are not always first/name surname. I can remember him "correcting" his name the wrong way round on a form by default when it was actually surname first- he hadn't seen that everyone else had the same order. I spent the first year I knew him apologising for getting it wrong, and had several lapses in the second year too, not helped by having to call out the matching name for the child who had it as a first name quite frequently.

I've also struggled with a day where I've taught a name of the same spelling and different pronunciations in 3 consecutive lessons. Lessons 1 and 3 had a soft pronunciation, lesson 2 had a hard pronunciation. I knew the names in their own right, but found the mental jump of manually getting the right pronounciation then switching an hour later to be tricky.

Teachers should know names, especially if they spend much of their time with a small number of students, but the more students you see in a day, the harder it gets, and it can be confused by names of other students. I'm already jumbling up my own two kids when I've thought about one and talk to the other

We had something like that in our secondary school pinboard a boy named tom and a teacher was convinced he was called Trevor, and then everyone starting calling him Trevor. He was never known as tom again. 10 years later and he's still Trevor even on Facebook, god knows what his parents thought
names changed!

It's basic courtesy to you and to him to get it right. YANBU.

We had a teacher who insisted that DD spell her own surname incorrectly. When I rang to correct his mistake he called me by the incorrect surname he'd been teaching DD whilst telling me how he was the teacher and knew how to spell

The rest of the conversation was conducted in a cloud of smugness

YANBU OP, Have words (you probably will post e-mail anyway ) and tell DS to speak up every time it happens.

I could have written your OP. Our surname has become a (not very common) boys' first name since our son was born. Now, at his school, there is a troublesome lad in the same year with that very name. DS is now in senior secondary, but since early primary years, he has been called this name off and on. It gives me the rage. It is like he has been stripped of his own identity and given the naughty boy's, IYSWIM?

A kid who went to my primary school was called Shaun Shaun (not sure of the exact spelling, might have been shawn or sean but his first and last names were both shaun.

It also happens to me at school. There are about 4 blonde haired blue eyed boys with similar hairstyles in my class. I do know their names of course but when I call out a name quickly I sometimes get it wrong. Same thing happens with the 2 brown haired brown eyed girls with long hair. I do always feel bad and apologise to them though.

I do much worse than this. In one of my classes I call the two black boys by each other's names around once a week. They look absolutely nothing alike in any way and I have no idea why I do it but it's mortifying. And they're obviously aware of it too. Sometimes I find myself covering it by deliberately mixing up two blonde girls or something. Dreadful.

YANBU though. Teachers should get a child's name right, especially in writing. Occasional mistakes happen but on a consistent level? You are right to raise it.

YANBU.

It's just laziness. My friend has a DD names Riley and her teachers often refer to her as a "he" and "him" in writing. Very frustrating and just shows laziness and a lack of fucks given.

Not quite the same thing but the vicar kept calling my dad by the wrong name. During my dad's funeral.

I can see how a teacher who needs to remember hundreds of names might get mixed up, but you would think this teacher will remember your DS's name once you mention it.

I have a fairly common first name, as does my DD. Throughout her life, I've had email conversations with various teachers and other professionals where they have started off the email discussing her by her name and about halfway down have started referring to her as my name.

The first time, it was sort of funny but it keeps happening, with different people from different organisations who are not connected! I can't be bothered to correct them, but I do think it's odd how so many people have done it, when they know very well what our names are.

YADNBU to expect them to call him by the right name. I can't believe people are saying it's your fault because of the name you chose. They should call him his name even if you had chosen something ridiculous. I taught a boy called Harley & quite often found myself calling him Harvey. Not on purpose it just seemed to come out even though I knew his name was Harley. He corrected me every time, as he should have because Harvey wasn't actually his name. You could say that it's the parents fault for calling him something which isn't a traditional name that sounds very similar to a more common name but they can name him as they chose & the teacher should be able to remember that.

Is there any chance his friends call him his surname as a nickname in class & that's what he's known as? No excuse though really as they will obviously have a correct class list & you're using his name correctly on correspondence.

Tabasco

YANBU but I do have to agree that once a "wrong" name has got into one's head, it can be very difficult to oust it!

I used to cox for a men's crew that contained a Tim and an Andy. One was tall and fair, and the other stocky, short and dark. In my head, Tim was the tall fair one - except he wasn't. And I could NOT correct it, however hard I tried! While coxing, I had to call out their seat numbers rather than their names, because 9/10 I'd get it wrong and the boat would go the wrong way

They're not getting it wrong deliberately.

YANBU!

Our family name is also a very common boy's first name. I have two boys, both of whom have top 100 boys' names (as opposed to being called Rain, Storm or more typical "surname" type names, unlike many of their classmates) - and they often get called by their surname. It's very irritating, particularly as it's a relatively small school (400 pupils years 1-6, 15-20 in each class).

When I started work here it was assumed from my last name that I was male (although why any male would have my first name which is very definitely female only I have no idea!) and my swipe card gave me access to the male changing rooms but not the female. So many emails and so many replies of "but why do you want access to the female changing rooms?!" from the security staff that sort out access (errr, because I'm female?)... took over 2 weeks for it to be rectified, in the meantime I had to walk through theatres in my outdoor clothes to get into the changing rooms through the "inside" doors.

The email was fine. It's better to be direct about these things than some weird passive aggressive approach.

Names can be confusing, but it's important to get them right.

If there are 2 boys with the same forename then I'm sure it's the teachers way of differentiating them in her/his mind but it automatically spills out when writing.

It is difficult when there are more than one with the same name in a class

I think it's rude to get his name wrong and I would correct it every time. It's not like they've just met him, they should know him. My friends little boy is 'Harvey' and their surname 'james'. He sometimes got referred to as 'James' instead of Harvey. You can't help your surname. Correct them.

I used to teach a Lewis Lucas and a Lucas Lewis. I used to have to stop and think for a few seconds before saying their name.

A secondary school teacher might teach 150 pupils in one day. It's hard sometimes especially if you teach a subject where you don't see the pupils more than once a week.

When faced with a teacher referring to DD as Abbie my DH looked confused and asked "How is this Abbie involved? Who is she?" Teacher replied "Um, Abbie! Your Abbie" DH said "oh! You're talking about Abigail!! I understand now."

My parents used to do this... To poor people who were just repeating back the name I'd told them! I think when I went to secondary they finally accepted that I did (and still do) dislike my full name and go by the shortened version.

I'm a teacher and there is a poor child at our school who has a girl's common first name as his surname and a boy's Biblical name as his first name , which could also be a surname.
He keeps appearing on lists as a girl. Poor sod.

My surname is a boy's name and my first name was not at all common when I was growing up. ( I was 16 before I met anyone else with my name. A hundred years ago, my first name was a boy's name.) I had a teacher in high school who reversed the names every day when she did attendance, calling my by my last name. I corrected her every day, four days a week, for six weeks, until classes were switched due to an increase in enrollment and I was put in another class.

(This halfwit also gave me my first and only "B" in English for my midterm mark.)