AIBU to be pissed off about so many of DS's teachers always getting his name wrong?

[JigglyTuff]

We have a surname that has (fairly recently) become a fashionable first name - think Morgan.

DS's first name is also a name that can be a surname.

I've had two parents evenings where DS has been called Morgan in consultations in meetings and just received an email from a teacher saying that he will speak to Morgan about the issue tomorrow. This teacher has taught DS on and off for 2 years and it's a state school where teachers use pupils' first names rather than surnames.

Honestly, is it too much to ask that a teacher remembers your child's name? Particularly when the email they're replying to is entitled 'Re Marcus Morgan - 4C'.

I might reply with 'Dear Halfpenny' and see if he gets the message.

nb no real names have been used in this post.

*DS1's first name

My brain is working faster than my fingers

I am thinking of replying 'Thank you very much, that's much appreciated. Incidentally, his name is James, not Lennon. Lennon is our surname.'

That's not rude is it? This teacher has called him Lennon (to his face and in emails) several times.

Quick question, have you asked what is on their SIMs register? There is space for a Legal Name and a Preferred Name. Has their been a data entry error and their surname is incorrectly listed on the Preferred Name option?

Has happened in my school before

Thanks Kitty. No, it's definitely right. Legal surname and surname are both Lennon. Forename and Chosen name are both James.

There is however a boy in the same year as James who is called Lennon. He's obviously a bit more exciting that DS!

I would be tempted to phrase it as Kitty as suggested above, and ask whether there is some kind of data entry mix-up on the database, as your son's name is actually James Lennon.

Sorry, cross posted there!

I know a guy whose surname is Paul. His first name is more commonly used as a surname.eg Jackson.
Don't know what his parents were thinking as everyone calls him Paul at some point and then has to apologise and he says, no really, it happens all the time etc.
Doesn't help that his company email style is surname.firstname so you email Paul.j and then have to remember not to call him Paul!

'Thank you very much, that's much appreciated. Incidentally, his name is James, not Lennon. Lennon is our surname.'

I think that's fine personally. If I was making a repeated mistake like that then I would rather know about it.

No you are not, it is part of teachers proffesional responsibility to get to know the children they work with, and this would surely start with learning the childrens names.How on earth could they claim to know a child and not know their name. As for the surname being a new first name. That is no excuse, these days class rooms regularly contain names which are unfathomable at first because the hail from abroad any good teacher would ensure they are able to remember and pronounce the childs name!

Our surname is a common boys first name. DS has a first name that I've never heard of as a surname (though it's not an unusual first name). Like 'Ethan Paul' but people still call him by his surname sometimes. The doctors quite often do it when they phone me. "Hello is that Paul's Mum?" "Erm I'm Mrs Paul?" ... awkward silence. It's a bit annoying but I usually just gently correct them.

Like Kitty, I wonder if it's entered wrong on some list somewhere. I've an 'Elfie' in my class and she's Elfie on the register but on other official things she is down as 'Effie'. It doesn't seem to matter how many times we say 'there is no Effie' it doesn't seemmto get changed.

Well, I've sent the email now. Let's see if the teacher remembers from now on!

I think that email is fine.

YY to checking that his name hasn't been accidentally swapped on the school's information system.

I'd also be inclined to adopt the French practice of writing the surname in capitals whenever you need to write his full name - James LENNON.

Yanbu it's lazy. My name gets adapted quite a bit. Sometimes I don't mind - one of my colleagues called me Natasha for ages and then said oh it's just another Russian ballet dancer name - which was novel. A chairperson called me Tracy for an hour during a v formal meeting until the minute taker could take no more and corrected them.

I think Anyone more than a passing acquaintance can bother to get your name right!

So his first name is a surname? And his surname is a name that some people use as a first name? Not surprised people get confused - he is going to get this all his life. Sorry OP but if you chose it.

My maiden name was Russell, and would often have letters/emails at school to Russell BickyPegs rather than BickyPegs Russell. My first name is a right arse to spell as well so basically school and uni always got my name wrong!

I'm a teacher and there is a poor child at our school who has a girl's common first name as his surname and a boy's Biblical name as his first name , which could also be a surname.
He keeps appearing on lists as a girl. Poor sod.

You are right to be annoyed. teachers are supposed to know their charges' names definitely. Just as we expect them to know ours (I keep getting muddled with a teacher with the same surname as me - grr)

Are you sure your DC is not using his first name as a surname? Some DC do tell teachers to use a different name to the one on forms.

When you are calling out a name quickly it's easy to get it wrong. I often get my own children's names muddled and call my son by his sister's name and vice versa.
It also happens to me at school. There are about 4 blonde haired blue eyed boys with similar hairstyles in my class. I do know their names of course but when I call out a name quickly I sometimes get it wrong. Same thing happens with the 2 brown haired brown eyed girls with long hair.
I do always feel bad and apologise to them though.

Are you sure he isn't asking to be called by his surname?

AT my school pretty much all boys were called by their surname or nickname. I can only think of one who was consistently called by his first name by all.
His surname was Fairy, so perhaps understandable.

But I did know of more than one boy who would introduce themselves by their nickname and their parents were not impressed and tried to stop it.

I went to school with a girl called Siobhan
and the teacher said she 'didn't like it' and changed her name to Janice.
Everyone called her Janice from then on.
It was Primary, in the 1970's.
Sorry, as you were.

Definitely not asking the teachers (or anyone else) to use his surname. He has HFA - he's an absolute stickler for rules and that would be a total breach as far as he's concerned!

When faced with a teacher referring to DD as Abbie my DH looked confused and asked "How is this Abbie involved? Who is she?" Teacher replied "Um, Abbie! Your Abbie" DH said "oh! You're talking about Abigail!! I understand now."

Teacher now knows DD's name

*Names changed natch

That's brilliant NotLost! I will see if I can muster the chutzpah to do that 😄