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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think friends are being over-senstive?

999 replies

pomadas87 · 20/02/2017 18:51

A friend (who lives abroad) messaged me and a couple of our good mutual friends - he shared happy news of his new baby and some pics. Everyone v excited and wished him congratulations!

He then said "so who's next to have a baby - she needs a playmate!" ... me and DH are newly married and are getting the question quite a lot...! Other friend said "I'm looking at you guys" (meaning me and DH)...

I then said "not for a while I'm afraid Grin why don't you have another one straightaway and you'll have Irish Twins - instant playmate!"

Meant it in a joking way and then they all called me a racist, xenophobe etc.... I didn't realise it was offensive and now I'm feeling shitty! Did they overreact to my (stupid) joke or am I just an idiot?! Confused

OP posts:
OMGyoumustbekidding · 26/02/2017 21:13

Do not report pleas. I'd rather it was left

OMGyoumustbekidding · 26/02/2017 21:13

Educational purposes

OMGyoumustbekidding · 26/02/2017 21:18

Cheers MarDhea Wine

MadMags · 26/02/2017 21:19

This has descended quite viciously.

I do wonder though at the motives of a certain poster continuing it...

redknots · 26/02/2017 21:21

MarDhea - you have shown enormous patience and dignity in the face of entitled fuckwittery and goadiness. I just wanted to say we'll done and Cake

OMGyoumustbekidding · 26/02/2017 21:21

Damn it that ruined everything, just when my view was getting more balanced.

Sugarlumps are you irish? That would help, because usually by default I quite like Irish people, but your post was a little bit 😲 so it might get me a more balanced view.

Willyoujustbequiet · 26/02/2017 21:22

Sugarlump that was a disgraceful comment.

MarDhea · 26/02/2017 21:23

Thanks omg.

And thanks red HaloGrin

Catlady1976 · 26/02/2017 21:25

Omg I do get what you are saying. Although born in Ireland I grew up in England.
I still have lots of relatives in Ireland and visit at least once a year.
I generally find people to be friendlier in Ireland compared to England (especially on the roads) and for many years felt the way you do. But more recently my rose tinted glasses have slipped and not everyone is lovely. The same as any country. There are sadly bad people everywhere.
Off to google rose tinted glasses.

OMGyoumustbekidding · 26/02/2017 21:25

Hi madmags,

I have tried to leave on a number of occasions, but people have kept saying things that I think are offensive so I have felt like I had to say something. Other people have also found it offensive.

DianaMemorialJam · 26/02/2017 21:25

Sugar you bigoted little cow. FOD.

belu1 · 26/02/2017 21:29

Sometimes you have to walk away from threads like this. O need to take my own advice. However thank you Marhdea and others for a fairly civilised discussion even if we disagree

MadMags · 26/02/2017 21:30

OMG I'll be honest: I think you're goading and your faux innocence and insincere niceness is grating.

I don't like what that poster said but to me it's someone who you have successfully pushed to the edge.

Now you can enjoy the fallout and profess your innocence while all the while continuing to be patronising and inflammatory.

OMGyoumustbekidding · 26/02/2017 21:32

I literally did bugger all as did belu.

MadMags · 26/02/2017 21:33

Well there's a good example. Why bring another poster into it? I didn't mention anyone else.

Sugarlumps333 · 26/02/2017 21:34

OMG for your balanced view and of course for your education - yes, I am Irish (but I grew up in London) glad you found this helpful. Don't want nasty responses? Don't be ignorant or try to be too clever.
DianaMemorialJam Flowersblowing you some kisses luv, calm yourself - no need for you to get upset. Cute. And yes: I am now officially logging off now, unlike a certain someone who continues to play dumb with her ignorant comments, granting her gracious approval to Irish people. Buh bye!

OMGyoumustbekidding · 26/02/2017 21:41

Why the F is it insencere I did nothing to you. I think you are not very nice, but it in no way effects my view of other people in ireland.
Yes hands down MarDhea you have been very decent even although for a moment I thought I didn't like you.
I live in scoland people say shit to me like sugarlumps did all the time... you get used to it and in some ways you try to excuse them for it.
If years down the line things were said like that in phrases and people didn't know what they were saying thend it would be less offensive. Especially if they generally had a positive view of English people
It is offensive now though, just to be clear.

OMGyoumustbekidding · 26/02/2017 21:43

Because she has suffered similar.

DianaMemorialJam · 26/02/2017 21:47

sugar xenophobia isn't an attractive trait sweetheart, knock it on the head won't you.

Hmm
Sugarlumps333 · 26/02/2017 21:52

Sorry, OMG I think you misunderstood me, this is my last post, just to break it down so you understand: Irish people, or Scottish people, or any people, do not want you to excuse them. People don't have to earn your approval - although you sound like a sneaky sarcastic smirky fool so I would imagine it would be hard work. I can picture people in Scotland being rude to you, unless they were paid not to, like say maybe people who have to stomach yoy at work. I would ask you who the hell you think you are - but I can already imagine what you are like. "Although for a moment I thought I didn't like you" - shut up PLEASE. You live in Scotland, you seem to have an awful lot to say for yourself and know a lot for someone who innocently claims to not know what the 'Mick' reference is about. I do not like you - and please, go to Ireland, I don't think your pathetic little act will wash.

belu1 · 26/02/2017 21:52

This thread has nearly 1000 posts. I think we are almost at the end! Who's going to have the last word?Smile

PickledCauliflower · 26/02/2017 21:52

My parents are Irish, lapsed Catholics who were able to family plan in the 1960s (better contraception available).
They are both from huge families (my dad had 9 brothers and two sisters).
I have heard "Irish twins" many a time. Having two babies within 12 months.
I don't find it offensive - I can't imagine my parents or other Irish families would either.
I think your friends need to lighten up a bit.

belu1 · 26/02/2017 21:53

Hope it's not sugarlump.

PickledCauliflower · 26/02/2017 21:53

Not read the whole thread. Just the opening post :)

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