To think its none of DH's business what time i go to bed?

[CherrySkull]

I have a particular hobby that can keep me up and online until late in the night as the people I do it with live mostly in the USA, so quite often the action doesn't start until 11pm and will go on through our Night.

I usually bail between 1 and 2am, but with it being Half Term and me not having to get up until i'm ready (the kids wake me to get breakfast then I go back to bed and leave them play) I stayed up until 4.30 the other night as there were a lot of us online and we were doing a group action.

DS is autistic and has taken to wandering around 1-2am so there is little point in me going to bed before then, I wait until he's resettled then I go to bed.

When I was up til 4.30, DH kept getting up to go pee and then he'd go "Come on its XXX, you need to get to bed" like some talking clock.

AIBU to tell him to piss off? I'm 35 years old, i'm a big girl, if I want to stay up until 4.30am, knowing I have to get up with the kids in the morning, surely that's my problem?

TBH, he's a bloody hypocrite, I forget the amount of times he's sat up til gone 5am pissing about on his playstation, the only time I ever got up to tell him to go to bed was when I knew he'd got work the next day, and all i'd say was 'keep an eye on the time, you have to be up at X" and then leave him to it!

Op said "DS is autistic and has taken to wandering around 1-2am so there is little point in me going to bed before then, I wait until he's resettled then I go to bed"

I took wandering to mean he gets up and needs resettling to get some sleep. Not to mean he is a danger to himself.

Autism doesn't always equal danger to themselves ffs!

Seriously one night for someone to get together with friends and do something she enjoys...how bloody dare she?

Are you reading a different thread? She's up every night online until 2am.
(Reading this I can totally see the iron in my replies as I do myself quite a bit - difference is though that I know I'm being unreasonable and have started to do something about it. Not come on here for an opinion and then ignore everyone who answers differently to what you want them to.)
When it starts to impact family life or next day functioning that's when it needs to be addressed. Going back to bed as you're too tired starts to fall into that category.

Op knows her own child if he had a habit of running out the door I don't think she would be leaving him. Plenty kids with autism do not need constant supervision if they have their own routine and way of doing things. An hour on the Xbox isnt gonna melt her Dds brains.
She isn't on it all day. Op said they do things together til ds is ready to go out later in the day.

Why are people makinng things up to suit themselves and not reading ops posts?

Dutch RTFT yourself - she never goes to bed before 1-2 am and never gets more than 4-5 hour sleep

Which adds up to 7am at the latest. Yes I rtft and grasp the concept of a mid-term late night and lie-in

Would you be happier if I was up reading? Or watching telly? Sometimes my friends aren't online, or i'm not in the mood for it, and I sit with the radio on and read.

Or I might put Netflix on and watch a couple of episodes of Luke Cage, or Daredevil, or a film.

I don't understand what the issue is about me being on the computer.

Would you be happier if I was up reading? Or watching telly? Sometimes my friends aren't online, or i'm not in the mood for it, and I sit with the radio on and read.I don't understand what the issue is about me being on the computer.
Reading, radio etc before bed - fine. Screens until the early hours - bad. You say yourself you don't sleep well.
That could quite well be something to do with it.

I thought it was ds who she made lunch for Dutch

It's likely was and I've misread it. Serves me right for getting on my high horse about eating the full thread

*reading not eating ffs

I don't sleep well because since DS was born I haven't been able to sleep a night through, ever. not once.

I sleep fine when I am actually asleep, I don't have insomnia or any kind of sleep disorder.

I have an autistic child with a sleep disorder.

My body has adjusted to surviving on 4-5hrs sleep. Its unfortunately one of those things that is part and parcel of having a child with disabilities.

Even when he's at my moms for the night I don't sleep before one and wake about 8am naturally.

I asked if DH was unreasonable for trying to order me to bed, not for my parenting to be ripped to shreds.

Cherry I'm the same, even when I can have a good nights sleep, I can't! Your body gets used to it. Even when ds was 'reset' took me ages to reset myself!

When it starts to impact family life or next day functioning that's when it needs to be addressed.

But the staying up until 1-2 am doesn't impact next day functioning. The 4.30 bedtime affected it very mildly with minimal impact on the kids. Everyone was fine. It was a one-off. So what exactly is wrong with the regular routine, which does not involve OP going back to bed after breakfast?

Glitteratzi
Are you being deliberately goady? She is up because get d's gets up between 12 and 2. Its not the same time every night! I couldn't go to bed then get up 2 hours later in the middle of the night I would rather stay up and op had already explained she can't do this either and would rather stay up and get 4 hours good sleep than 2 as she can't go back to sleep during the night. What would work for you doesn't for others
Drs she went back to sleep for an hour THIS ONE TIME it's not regular she doesn't do it every day.

Where do you get the Impacting on family life stuff from? If her oh went out for a night out and had a long lie once in a blue moon would that be the same or would that be ok cos it's 'proper 'social interaction time not via a computer?

'She' not Drs!

Thank you Willow, I do appreciate it, at least some people are reading.

YABU Maybe you are the reason your little one has taken to waking at 2a.m?

Robertsgirl
ODFOD or RTFT

little one? he's 11.

Classic extrapolation thread! good work to everyone on here who jumped to a conclusion, didn't read the thread or couldn't imagine themselves in someone else's shoes. Of course YANBU, you know your children and if you can trust them to manage their own behaviour whilst you nap.

Or, ring social services!! brilliant. won't someone think of the children.....

Where do you get the Impacting on family life stuff from?

I'd have thought having to go back to bed after being woken up by the kids to get breakfast, and going to bed a good few hours after DH every night at 2am when he's up with a "physical job that means he could get 3rd degree burns if had an accident" starts to encroach on it needing looking at, yes.
Why am I being goady for having a differing opinion?!
Or are we only supposed to answer the "right" way now?
If so, crack on.
YANBU, OP, nothing wrong with staying up until the early hours of the morning every day online, your husband needs to suck it up and stop moaning.
There. That better?

YABU Maybe you are the reason your little one has taken to waking at 2a.m?

I know when I stay up until 1am mumsnetting on the laptop there'll be wanderings for the toilet a lot more than when I go to a bed at a reasonable time.
So, good point. Maybe it is disturbing to have lights on downstairs or wherever and moving about/typing/gaming noises etc.

"It would get child services involvement where I'm from." Really?! They must have a very low case load from where "you're from".

OP it sounds as if you've adjusted your sleep patterns according to your son. Stepping away from screens is sound advice though, I'm trying to do the same myself. In fact, thanks to your thread, I've picked out a book to read in bed tonight.

OP I think people are being a bit harsh towards you

I stay up til about midnight every night. DH goes to bed at 9. DS, 11, goes to bed at 8.

I get up for work at 5.30am. I have plenty of sleep - 5.5 hours. If I go to bed at 10 I wake about 3am

You have a hobby you enjoy. You stayed up once til 4.30am. You have a child that wakes in middle of night.

All sounds perfectly reasonable to me

To a previous poster who said why does an 11 year old go to bed at 7.30 - our DS went to bed at 7.30 until this year when he turned 11. What time should he be going to bed??

Thank you Willow, I do appreciate it, at least some people are reading

That's it, ignore the vast majority of the thread and cling to the practically lone voice that agrees with you.
AIBU???
Practically unanimous MN - "Yes, you are!"
"No, I'm not."

Why ask for opinions in the first place if you don't actually WANT opinions?!

Sometimes on a Sunday afternoon I doze on the sofa after a night out, DH is faffing in the garden and DS is on the PS4. He's perfectly safe without one of us sitting next to him