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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if at 5'4 and nine and half stone I would be considered slim

248 replies

Worried61 · 18/02/2017 18:47

Mil commented today that I'm in her words quite a high weight for my height. She is around the same height and over a stone lighter. I think I'm a good weight and that 5'4 is slim and not overweight at all. Am I in denial?

OP posts:

SuitedandBooted · 19/02/2017 11:24

TaraCarter, yes, joking apart, that certainly would have an effect on their sales - we don't like to feel we are getting larger, and are more inclined to buy the "vanity" sized items that flatter our ego. I KNOW it's all bullshit, but I still get a little thrill of pleasure from easily fitting in an 8!!

Shop's don't retain the size numbers, and just make them larger for the fun of it. They know it's good business sense. I regularly help out my SIL, who makes wedding/special occasion dresses. She set up her business 30 years ago, and uses tailoring patterns that don't change much. A current size 12 measures at a 1970's to late 1990's size 16. It has now reached the point where we don't put the measured size on the paperwork we give to the clients (just on ours!), as they don't like it. We just put a "B" for "bespoke" in the size column that they see.

amusedbush · 19/02/2017 11:34

I'm 5' 5, 13 stone and the top end of a size 14. I'd love to be your weight! In November I was 16st 7 though so anything feels better than that

noeffingidea · 19/02/2017 11:52

Slim is a subjective word. To me it means well toned and in proportion without visible fat. Only you know what shape you are in.
You are in the healthy range for bmi but you do need to consider waist/height ratio, and have some idea of what your body fat% is to have a true picture of how healthy you are.

BitOutOfPractice · 19/02/2017 12:05

My exMil was a witch just like this about weight. Really really unhealthy attitude to weight and food.

Just a warning op, if you have DC, she has started making snide comments about my teenage DDs' weight. My exH has, in my opinion, not shut that down firmly enough. So keep an eye on her.

Sprinklestar · 19/02/2017 13:03

I'm 5'4 and hover between 7 1/2 and 8 stone so that would be quite big for me. Depends on your build tho, muscle tone etc.

MajesticWhine · 19/02/2017 13:39

amusedbush that is a lot of weight you lost well done

lljkk · 19/02/2017 13:46

my mom was 5'3.5" and at 9.5 stone would have felt almost obese, and she would have looked very dumpy. She was generally around 8.5-9 stone & often moaned that it was at least 10 lbs heavier than she wanted to be. Her ideal was ~ 7.5-8 stone.

Original poster

Worried61 · 19/02/2017 14:11

Interesting views amazing to see how different people can think.

OP posts:

XiCi · 19/02/2017 14:44

Some amazingly shitty comments on here. It's pretty pathetic to come on and try and make someone feel fat when they are very clearly a healthy weight for their height. Special mention goes to the Oh dear, I'm afraid I was that weight at 9 months pregnant post, oh do fuck off!!

Yes, OP you are a healthy weight. No it is not a high weight for your height. Yes, your mil is a rude bitch and I imagine said this knowing it upset you. Ignore her.

lljkk · 19/02/2017 15:38

OP asked if she could be in denial, she wanted people to give her honest answers (didn't she???)

I didn't notice anyone say OP is fat, but they described how they would see themselves or feel in their own skin at that weight (many said fine to be that weight or even heavier, some said not so fine).

CaptainBrickbeard · 19/02/2017 16:08

OP, I weigh several tons and have to be regularly airlifted from my house by a crane, thanks to the wonders of vanity sizing though I am in size 8 jeans and due to everyone (here comes my favourite MN phrase!) losing sight of a normal weight I am frequently congratulated on how thin I am and encouraged to shovel in more biscuits by my fellow fat-enablers. It's only on this forum that women over 9 stone are castigated for their revolting greed which consigns them instantly to terrible health and imminent death by cake any moment. It's alarming how the post from an anorexic woman who explained upthread how the inevitable responses on this thread make her want to disregard medical advice and avoid gaining weight was totally ignored in the stampede of people desperate to post that they could never bear to be as gigantic as the OP and what a shame the high street panders to these great big fatties who horrify elderly women everywhere with their monstrous size.

BitOutOfPractice · 19/02/2017 16:18

It really is quite a snidely nasty thread isn't it?

CaptainBrickbeard · 19/02/2017 16:24

All MN weight threads are snide and nasty. A few months ago a woman posted that her MIL had called her fat. She was upset at the rudeness but made the mistake of mentioning in her OP that she was a size 8. Cue hundreds of posts saying 'ahhhh, but you aren't REALLY a size 8 though because vanity sizing and size 8 is actually a 20 now and you probably are actually fat, OP, but you have lost sight of a normal weight. Someone very over invested worked out the OP's BMI and suggested she lose some weight as anything over a BMI of 22 was too high anyway. It's bonkers.

BitOutOfPractice · 19/02/2017 16:27

I always read the "If you're 5'x" tall what do you weigh?" threads with some sort of grim fascination as poster after poster vies to be the lightest while everyone with a BMI over 22 reads and doesn't post, convinced that they are indeed the fattest person on the planet

I was feeling quite good about myself (just lost 48lbs ) but now realise I am actually ripe for a C4 documentary, so lardy is my arse. All from reading this thread

BubbleBed · 19/02/2017 16:35

I'm quite happy to stand up and be one of the wobbly average. I did a race today in Medium sized running leggings and vest top, bit wobbly round the edges from being 4st lighter than 9 years ago when I gave birth to a giant baby, but I am most definitely not FAT, even though I am overweight on the BMI. I am standing now in size12 jeans, with a 34E bra on. That's not fat. I'm not slim, but Jesus, I'm not unhealthy.

treaclesoda · 19/02/2017 16:36

Remember the poster who always used to come on weight threads and sternly tell people that anyone within the 'healthy' weight range of BMI tables was already dangerously overweight, and everyone should actually aim for a BMI of 16 to 18.

I always strongly suspected that far from being the fabulously strong fit and healthy person she claimed to be that she was gripped by an eating disorder.

TaraCarter · 19/02/2017 16:38

CaptainBrickbeard

That post was a work of comic genius and right on the mark.

I often post on these threads despite being BMI 24+ out of sheer principle.

Original poster

Worried61 · 19/02/2017 16:39

Treacle yes I would argee Bmi 16-18 is debit healthy for most adults. I heard that a Bmi of 22 is the best for physical health but who knows.

OP posts:

tabithakitty · 19/02/2017 16:50

People def carry weight very differently.

Your mil is very rude!

I am 5'4", almost ten stone and slim. Another half stone I feel quite big, half a stone less I feel skinny.

CaptainBrickbeard · 19/02/2017 16:58

Worried, like everything weight related, it varies. Some people are better at the bottom end of BMI and some at the top - I look my best with a BMI of 25 or even gasp 26. But, like Wolverine, I have a skeleton of adamantium and whenever a doctor has to weigh me I reading myself to getting on twice and having them get the scales checked, looking dubious and saying immensely flattering things like "well, you don't look THAT fat". I dress for my shape as well.

Tara I think we have joined forces on a weight thread before, in all of our high-end-of-healthy BMI glory (I have to admit I have gone above that high end now though)

CaptainBrickbeard · 19/02/2017 17:00

And treacle, I remember that poster, along with someone who may have been her who genuinely, honestly didn't understand why anyone puts on weight over Christmas because OBVIOUSLY you fast for several days before and after and don't eat pudding.

Haffdonga · 19/02/2017 17:09

I'm an inch taller and half a stone lighter. I am 'normal' BMI and look 'middling'. So if it was my body it would be too high a weight.

But it's not my body. It's yours so I know nothing.

TaraCarter · 19/02/2017 17:11

Quite probably, Captain. I tend to consistently object to the drip-drip of "only below 22 is good enough" on here since I developed enough body confidence to say "fuck orf" in my head.

AyeAmarok · 19/02/2017 17:18

I'm nearly 5ft 5 and was your weight at 9 months pregnant, so I wouldn't be slim at 9.5 stone, but I have a tiny frame.

I'd say it depends on what shape you're in, rather than what weight you are.

My friend is your height and weight and is in great shape and definitely looks slim and really toned.

Another friend is the same weight and height and is chubby.

Whether you're fit and strong without lots of fatty areas is more of a determinant of whether you will look slim than just a weight and height.

If you posted a picture then people could tell you better (but don't do this because you'll get torn to shreds for being both a heifer and anorexic).

TaraCarter · 19/02/2017 17:24

If you posted a picture then people could tell you better (but don't do this because you'll get torn to shreds for being both a heifer and anorexic).

Yep.

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