To ask if at 5'4 and nine and half stone I would be considered slim

[Worried61]

Mil commented today that I'm in her words quite a high weight for my height. She is around the same height and over a stone lighter. I think I'm a good weight and that 5'4 is slim and not overweight at all. Am I in denial?

in my 20's and 30's I weighed 9st and am 5'10 and ate like a horse.

I don't imagine you are skinny but probably not fat?

That made me and my BMI of 24 grin inanely, Captain :o Particularly regarding the pointless discussion about "vanity sizing". I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE NUMBER IN MY CLOTHES I ONLY CARE THAT THEY FIT PROPERLY!!!!

The Op is very far from being overweight and therefore not 'heavy'.
The MIL may not have been meaning to be rude but for me her comments really do highlight deeper issues in our society.
I really think that for many women and girls, years of similar 'innocuous' remarks about their perfectly healthy bodies play a far larger part in damaging self esteem than any number of pictures of skinny models in Vogue. These comments send a subtle but powerful message that no matter what our achievements, we are still not good enough and slap us firmly back in our place.
By contrast, in my experience, men rarely have to deal with this kind of criticism - even if they are actually overweight.
I'm roughly the same size as the op, with my weight ranging from between 8.5 and 9.5 stone at different points over the past 20 years.
At no point have I been anything than a healthy size.
Yet in my teens and 20s I was told I was 'chubby' by a relative. I was called 'a fat cow' by a seriously overweight man and learned that I looked like a 'ten tonne Tess' in a slightly revealing dress. Then when I dropped just a few pounds, to 8.5 stone, I was apparently too thin.

Even now in my 30s - every time I go home I get appraised on whether I've lost or gained weight, quizzed on what clothes size I wear and whether I should eat more or go on a diet.
The scary thing is that many people involved genuinely believe they are helping to guide me towards what society deems to be the most acceptable female shape - the look that is most associated with success.
I do also get the impression however, that others have quite enjoyed stopping me getting above my station!
The turning point for me was when I joined a running club, ran five marathons and found I could outpace a lot of the men. I'm no Paula Radcliffe but it's proved to me that my body is strong and healthy and undeserving of criticism.
It makes me furious to think of what I could have achieved in the time I've spent agonising over a few pounds.
I now have a zero tolerance attitude to unhelpful comments about my size. - especially when there is no problem with it.
My attitude now is that if I'm actually seriously overweight and you're genuinely concerned about my health, please tell me. If not talk to me about the million more interesting topics that are out there instead.

I'm the exact same height and weight as you and I'm a size 8/10 with a BMI of about 22-23 which is fine.

Most people would say I am slim, your MIL is a butch and probably jealous of your curves. Her saying that says more about her insecurities than anything, she's trying to put you down.

I'm 5ft 6 and weigh 9st 4lbs and although I'm a healthy weight I don't class myself as slim. There's too much meat on my tum and thighs for that

Where is this vanity sizing? Am I just not getting it in the UAE? Everyone is always shocked as hell when I tell them my clothing size and don't believe me that I generally wear between a 12 and 16 (they think I should be wearing smaller).

Hell, some stores I have to buy an 8 or 10 top, in other stores I've got to go all the way up to 20 to have them fit my thighs/hip & shoulders.

I don't think there's enough consistency in clothing sizes to use it as any kind of judgement on health/weight/body shape, etc. Yet it seems to be what every single one of these threads boil down to, with anyone saying there above an 8 being accused of being a porker.

You are right in the middle of the healthy weight range for that height, OP. Nothing at all to worry about. I was that height and weight when I was 14, by the way.

I am just a touch taller than you OP. My preferred weight is 58kg (9st 1 or 2). I do have a small frame though. So as many others have said you are a healthy weight. Are you happy with your weight ?

Why is mil discussing your weight/ height? Tell her to bugger off, my mil is horrendo but wouldn't ask my weight if she did I wouldn't tell her, I don't think I would tell anyone as if they made a comment like your mil it would really bother me! I am quite short 5'2.5 and I have weighed around 9 stone and been a size 8 for years, but I know people who are taller and lighter and a size 12.

I love the height-weight picture chart!!

Fascinating.

Op I suspect you are just petite rather than slim. Probably quite normal. What is mil trying to achieve with this comment. Presumably it's just a nasty jealous dig?

Thank you MajesticWhine

I'm not finished yet but I feel a lot better than I did!

I'm not entirely convinced people actually carry weight all that differently, when I look at people my weight and height on my body gallery the images all look pretty familiar (be aware that when you put in e.g. 130 lb then you are shown images between 130 and 140 lb).

I also think that it can be very difficult to judge your own weight and size. I know I've lost weight this year and I know I've lost inches. I can even see some clothes look a lot better now and some are looking a bit baggy. And my muscles are looking more defined. But I don't actually feel that different and after all I put the weight on because I didn't really notice it (not helped by those generous waistbands that mean when I have my healthy hourglass shape everything is baggy around the waist, allowing me lots of room to grow!).

Anyway OP, you are clearly a healthy weight for your height so as long as you are not smoking, not drinking too much, eating a sensible diet and doing plenty of exercise then you are doing fine. Best to ignore MIL in this regard.

I'm not entirely convinced people actually carry weight all that differently

How ridiculous, of course they do. I am an apple shape so I carry my weight around my middle. My friend is the same height and weight but she has a flat stomach, small waist and massive hips/thighs/arse. I look like a tree trunk in dresses while they skim her lower half and look fantastic on her. Skinny jeans, not so much.

@NotSayingImBatman couldn't agree more. All of these comments are so damaging to people. I am 5ft 2 and 9 stone 10. Perfectly normal BMI and I do not look overweight at all.

5ft 4 would look even slimmer

I'm 5'6" and weigh a bit more than you. I don't consider myself slim at the moment but that is partly because all the weight congregates in my middle.

Being 'slim' is nothing to do with health and everything to do with appearance. You ate a healthy weight. Ignore your MIL.

When people say things like this (your mil) it really infuriates me. I am 5 ft 4 aswell, and I am 19 stone. Ues you read that right I am 10 stones heavier than you. So how she could possibly think your overweight is beyond me

It's really sad that mothers denigrate their own daughters.

I’m about that height, at 9 and half stone I’d look thin. A stone less and I’d look malnourished.

I'm not sure, I'm 5'7 and the same weight as you and I'm a size 8. I don't really think weight means that much to be honest, everyone carries it differently.

Sorry, I read that you were 9 stone. At 5'7 and 9 stone I am a size 8.

I’m 5’4” and currently 11 stone 2.5 pounds
I’m currently a size 10-12
I’m dieting and aiming for 10 stone which will make me a size 8-10
Lowest I’ve ever been as an adult was 9.2 and I was ill and looked it
It really depends on your body shape
My weight is evenly distributed - typical hour glass - proportionately long legs
My SIL weighs less than me - 2 inches shorter and is 2 dress sizes bigger

I'm 5ft6, small boned with big boobs.
At 9stone I am size 10 in most high street (younger end) shops.
I don't look thin, I even think I don't look particularly slim because of my big boobs - lots of tops make me look 'matronly' - and I don't like to wear figure hugging/skin tight clothes because I think they make me look like I'm trying to draw attention to my boobs.