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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if at 5'4 and nine and half stone I would be considered slim

248 replies

Worried61 · 18/02/2017 18:47

Mil commented today that I'm in her words quite a high weight for my height. She is around the same height and over a stone lighter. I think I'm a good weight and that 5'4 is slim and not overweight at all. Am I in denial?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 18/02/2017 22:51

In what context did she say it though?

If she just randomly blurted it out, then that's just bloody rude.

But if it was part of a conversation about weight/height in general then perhaps not so much rude, as surprised.

She hasn't said you're not slim at all. She said you're quite a high weight for your height.

And that could mean she's surprised at how much you weigh, purely because you look so slim.

It's hard to know without context though.

Corialanusburt · 18/02/2017 22:55

Your MIL is rude. She would not have appreciated a similar comment by you to her.

maggiethemagpie · 18/02/2017 22:59

I'm 5'4'' and 10 stone and consider myself 'normal' but not necessarily slim. With half a stone off, I suppose I might think of myself as slim(mer) but it's all relative.

To really be slim I'd personally be around 9 stone, but everyone is different.

MajesticWhine · 18/02/2017 22:59

I'm 5'4" and 10 stone. I am fairly solid but not overweight. I wear size 12. I think 9 1/2 would be ideal (although haven't been that weight since my early 20s)

Grindelwaldswand · 18/02/2017 23:01

Im about 5'3 and 6st 12lb but according to the NHS bmi calculation I'm massively underweight and borderline anorexic Hmm ask your GP what they think but to me you sound perfect

WorraLiberty · 18/02/2017 23:09

The OP isn't asking about her BMI, she's asking if she is slim - which to be fair no-one here can answer.

It's quite possible to be bang slap in the healthy BMI range and slim all over, but with a flabby belly for example.

It does sound as though her MIL was incredibly rude on the face of it, but possibly not if her comment came about in the middle of a conversation about their weights and heights.

TowerRavenSeven · 18/02/2017 23:15

I'm a half inch shorter than you and the same weight and to be honest I consider myself overweight. I have to add though that I have a very small build and half of my life I was underweight. So I'm probably on the heavier side of average.

PickAChew · 18/02/2017 23:19

Yes, people can be odd about weight. When I was over a stone heavier than I am, now, I had someone go on and on (absolutely unprompted) about how there was nothing to me. I had a spare tyre that would fit a bus, FFS!

parklives · 18/02/2017 23:21

I think your MIL is a mean woman, doesn't matter what weight you are, your body is none of her business! (That doesn't mean I think you are over weight btw!)

PickAChew · 18/02/2017 23:23

And it' possible to be slim to the point of being quite skinny but still having a belly, worra if your stomach muscles are messed up, or you've simply got a massive apron of skin from having been bigger (both for me).

BellonaBelladonna · 18/02/2017 23:28

Whoa mil is a cow. No need to lose weight. Family members maybe!

WorraLiberty · 18/02/2017 23:35

Exactly PickAChew, that's why I think it's possible the MIL wasn't saying anything about whether the OP is slim or not.

But again, really hard to tell without context.

WhingyNinja · 18/02/2017 23:37

This thread is so depressing, feeling fat at 9 stone with a thigh gap and exposed ribs, wtf!? I'm an absolute heifer at 5ft 3 and need to sort the mum tum out but I'm really quite surprised at the 'feel overweight at 9.5 stone' comments! Crazy! I evidently have very low expectations of myself Grin

waddles off all jiggle jiggle

WorraLiberty · 18/02/2017 23:42

It's not crazy really Whingy

We all know our own bodies and bodies vary massively in terms of how and where we carry weight.

Which is why these threads are (imo) never a good idea really. I can't see how such a variety of answers/experiences/projection/anecdotes/facts, can ever make an OP feel good.

38cody · 18/02/2017 23:54

when I was 9st 3lbs i was a 12/14 - I'm 5'4 so for me that weight was a bit chunky.

lottieandmia · 19/02/2017 00:01

I think she's very rude to comment on your weight at all.

Whatthefuckis1tnow · 19/02/2017 00:14

Your mil was rude to comment if she was saying it in a derogatory way but not if she was saying it in a 'you look slim way can't believe you weigh that' way. Iyswim.
It's all really subjective anyway and theres no point other people stating what height and weight they are because as previous posters have said its all down to build/muscle/fat ratio. You've only got to look at some of the fittest people's bmi's to know that bmi is also pretty outdated. What about these people who weigh heavily but are completely solid and have a very low fat percentage for their body.
I'm 5'9 and currently 9 stone but have been all the way up to 13stone and never been fully happy at any of those weights or all the weights inbetween. It's all crap. If you feel good and are healthy don't worry about anyone else's opinions or ideals of what you 'should be'. Your weight sounds fine.

Longtime · 19/02/2017 08:07

I found these which shows how the sizes have gone up. I was a size 10 as a teenager (late seventies) and weighed 7.5 stone, height 5' 3".

To ask if at 5'4 and nine and half stone I would be considered slim
To ask if at 5'4 and nine and half stone I would be considered slim
hopsalong · 19/02/2017 08:21

I'm the same weight as you (when not pregnant!) and I would consider myself slim-ish. It all depends what we mean by slim, doesn't it? If it means not overweight, then you're definitely slim. If it means having a low BMI, e.g. under 20, then you aren't. (I am 5'9'' so my BMI would be quite a bit lower but I still have plenty of padding.) Either way, strange and rude behaviour from your MIL. You sound perfect to me.

Thefitfatty · 19/02/2017 08:39

Who cares as long as your happy? WTF is slim anyway? One person's slim is another person's obese.

Threads like these on MN are so depressing.

Longtime · 19/02/2017 08:39

(Those are US sizes though I think.)

picklemepopcorn · 19/02/2017 08:45

If you are a more muscular body type than she is, or have a broader skeletal structure (think width of feet, wrist, rib cage) then you will weigh more than her. Suggest she take up some muscle building exercise to strengthen up a bit.
My bra size, when my ribs and spine nobbles show, is 36". I will always weigh more than someone the same height with a 32" back.

BabyHamster · 19/02/2017 09:24

longtime those charts are fascinating! In 1958 I'd have been almost a size 16, now I'm an 8...

SuitedandBooted · 19/02/2017 10:04

Longtime, - those ARE UK sizes!
As a fifty-something (and an occassional dressmaker) I can confirm it. I was a 12 in the 1980's - 1990's, with a 27in waist. I still "see" myself as a 12. However, modern shops disagree. Now 2 children later I am 28in, and finding sizes 8's are getting too large. It is ridiculous (and dangerous) now. We are well on the way to regarding fat as normal.
I think this goes some way to explaining the remarks made by the OP'S mil - she is presumably around my age or older, and would see someone of the OP's weight as not particularly slim, and probably around a size 14 to her.

TaraCarter · 19/02/2017 10:07

This may explain the demise of BHS- a BHS 12 didn't change between 2001 and 2011!