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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to leave DD aged 4 alone in a hotel room.

308 replies

Chamonix1 · 16/02/2017 17:01

Going away this weekend, DH's parents are coming and have very generously paid for me and DH to go out for a meal, they said they'd watch DD in the hotel we are all staying in so we could have some time alone. Lovely.
However they've recently announced that they are going to settle DD in our room, call their room from our room and go back to their room and listen out for dd through the phone.
This doesn't sit right with me because surely hotel staff etc could access our room, what if they don't hear dd?
I'm trying to work out if I'm being precious here or if other people agree. It is making me feel a bit uneasy. They don't want to have to sit in the room with her as they'd need to be quiet so they didn't wake her... what the verdict mumsnet?

OP posts:
TheMysteriousJackelope · 16/02/2017 17:43

YANBU.

Four year olds are not known for their logic and common sense and I can quite well imagine a four year old opening the room door and going to look for them or you if she gets lonely or scared. They may not even hear her doing that if they are asleep and she is quiet about it. Then she'll be freaking out wandering around the hotel corridors.

I wouldn't be comfortable doing this with a baby, but at least a baby isn't able to get up and leave the room.

me.

Cupcakey · 16/02/2017 17:44

Not a chance! I wouldn't be happy with this! Why can't they sit in your room and read a book or something!

SuperFlyHigh · 16/02/2017 17:44

MsQueen I thought the exact same re Madeleine McCann.

No way.

AcrossthePond55 · 16/02/2017 17:44

No way!!! Four is just the right age to wake up in a strange place, be frightened, and go off on their own trying to find their parents. Or to hide in the event of a fire or other emergency so personnel would open the door and think the room was empty.

I can't believe that your iLs would put their own comfort ahead of the safety of their grandchild.

GrainOfSalt · 16/02/2017 17:45

Nope here too. As a PP says what if the hotel is evacuated? DS and I had to evacuate from a hotel when the fire alarm went off. It was a false alarm but we were still outside for 45 minutes in the middle of the night. Also be aware if it is a card system for the bedroom door, they are often dodgy - in multiple hotels I have needed to get reception to reset it when I couldn't get in - you don't want DD on one side of a door and you/ grandma on the other

Surely they could have the TV on once DD is asleep (and if grandad is likely to excite her then get grandma to do the settling and text grandad to come up once she is asleep)

Hellothereitsme · 16/02/2017 17:45

On the rare occasions that we have stayed in a hotel we always put our child in a pushchair and took them to the restaurant. They always fell asleep. I've spent many an evening sitting in a semi dark hotel room drinking a glass of wine with s sleeping baby. It is what you do when you have children.

Loopyloo80 · 16/02/2017 17:46

I have to agree with Pps! It's a no from me too. I absolutely wouldn't.

If you told them no, and they offered to sit with her in your room, I doubt they'd lie about it in case your dd woke up and told you they weren't there when you got back. They wouldn't want to take that risk.

So yeah -I'm with the majority. Tell them to stay in the room and let your dd stay up with them, or give them the restaurant booking.

Giddyaunt18 · 16/02/2017 17:48

Mum told me in the early 70s she went to Butlins with me and family. I was 1 and babies weren't allowed in the dining room(!) or bar so they would leave me in the chalet asleep. A staff member would walk around the chalets listening out for crying and if so send a message to switch a light on that would flash in the bar for your number chalet!!! Apparently mine was always going off! Shocking but as I said upthread , it's what your MIL's generation did.

Hateloggingin · 16/02/2017 17:49

What was that weird 'murdered by her mother' comment about?? Confused

1bighappyfamily · 16/02/2017 17:49

Nope no way.

But it has nothing to do with Madeleine McCann or 'these days' as I don't think the risks of abduction are any greater now than they were 30 years ago.

It's for two reasons:

  1. She's in a very unfamiliar environment so if she wants to get up in the middle of the night she could hurt herself at worst or at best be spooked in a sleepy state
  1. Fire. I remember my parents leaving me in a hotel room with my sister at about the same age, and I was afraid about what I'd do in the event of a fire. I remember it really clearly.

If they're not in an adjoining room where they can hear her, it's too much of a risk. Not the same as being downstairs at home at all.

Couldn't do it.

harderandharder2breathe · 16/02/2017 17:49

I wouldn't be happy with that.

Can she stay up late with them? And if she falls asleep then it's a bonus but if not, it's one night on a holiday, most kids will cope with that (but I know some just can't through no fault of their own or their parents).

user1472334322 · 16/02/2017 17:51

Nope here too. I have a ds aged 5 and I wouldn't leave him in the situation either. I'd say dd stays in dgps room or they take the dinner booking. Get dh to talk to them about it.

Original poster
Chamonix1 · 16/02/2017 17:51

DH has called them and said he isn't comfortable with the set up. He's just text me "there room is next door but 1"
Why is this relevant?
Why did I invite them for this weekend away, always complicate things.
I'm worried about their judgment to be honest. If My dd told me she want comfortable with this I'd not try to twist her arm and justify it, id just do whatever necessary to make her feel at ease.
Obviously it's an I convenience

OP posts:
Verbena37 · 16/02/2017 17:52

No. Just no.
She could wake and go looking.
She could wake and burn herself on kettle or hairdryer, fill bath, smash a glass etc
She could, if someone knocked on the door, get up and open it....

Giddyaunt18 · 16/02/2017 17:53

Not close enough OP. So, what was their reaction? Have they agreed?

Verbena37 · 16/02/2017 17:53

Next door but one isn't sufficient.

PollyPerky · 16/02/2017 17:54

I simply wouldn't trust them. They may say they will stay in her room but how do you know they will? Cannot believe they thought that leaving 2 phones connected was a sensible way of babysitting a child in another room.

I think the only way this would work - but not with these GPs- is for the child's parents to settle her down to sleep early- she's only four- then go down to dinner once she is asleep and the GPs could come in quietly and read, watch TV low volume etc.

Verbena37 · 16/02/2017 17:54

What if a fire started in your hotel room. Being next door but one isn't going to be helpful at all.

empirerecordsrocked · 16/02/2017 17:54

Nope, wouldn't do it.

Zaphodsotherhead · 16/02/2017 17:55

Surely they don't know which room they are going to be in?? What if they are four floors down? There's no telling what could happen to a four year old in the time it took two (presumably) older people to run up four flights of stairs (or, more probably, wait for the lift)....

Scrap that. Even in ajoining rooms it's a no-no. Imagine the poor little soul panicking if she woke up from a nightmare? Or, even worse, waking up very quietly and creeping out of the room to find you - GPs wouldn't even hear her (besides, they might fall asleep in their room...)

ClarenceOddbody · 16/02/2017 17:55

No I wouldn't do it. What if she woke up and went out of the room onto the corridor - she'd be locked out and no-one would know as she might not be heard through the phoneline! I wouldn't do it - trust your instincts.

MommieMommyMom · 16/02/2017 17:55

Never

Whatasmashingpumpkin · 16/02/2017 17:55

Oh gosh don't do it.

We stayed in a beautiful, expensive and we'll reviewed hotel in Devon last year and at 1.30am someone let themselves into our room, literally walked straight in. They were blind drunk and it was horrid, DD was sleeping next to us and it was over in a split second as they backed out again and staggered down the corridor but it's stayed with me, really really shocked me.

Obviously we complained and apparently new girl on to the front desk had given out a replacement key card to a drunk wedding guest and accidently programmed our room. We were compensated but I still baracade myself in now where ever I go, so don't ever risk it, just incase.

mathanxiety · 16/02/2017 17:56

Absolutely no way.

I would question their judgement permanently if they think this would be ok.

Original poster
Chamonix1 · 16/02/2017 17:57

Giddy
No, they've said "we're only next door but one and are going to check every 20 minutes"
Sounds like more of a faff than just staying in the room with her.
I feel like a fucking huge inconvenience now, when yet again they've insisted and then made us jump through their hoops.
Dh is calling them back.
Said he isn't comfortable but they know it'll be me. Even if they agree now it will be begrudgingly and I don't want to ruin their evening.

OP posts:
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