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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to leave DD aged 4 alone in a hotel room.

308 replies

Chamonix1 · 16/02/2017 17:01

Going away this weekend, DH's parents are coming and have very generously paid for me and DH to go out for a meal, they said they'd watch DD in the hotel we are all staying in so we could have some time alone. Lovely.
However they've recently announced that they are going to settle DD in our room, call their room from our room and go back to their room and listen out for dd through the phone.
This doesn't sit right with me because surely hotel staff etc could access our room, what if they don't hear dd?
I'm trying to work out if I'm being precious here or if other people agree. It is making me feel a bit uneasy. They don't want to have to sit in the room with her as they'd need to be quiet so they didn't wake her... what the verdict mumsnet?

OP posts:

ph0ebe · 16/02/2017 23:05

Let us know what happens op [hopeful]

movpov · 17/02/2017 00:15

No. They're either watching her or they're not. Unless they are planning on a wild party in the same room I doubt if they would wake her. If that's the deal I'd be saying thanks but no thanks

38cody · 17/02/2017 00:53

NO. Just no - not comfortable with it - don't need to explain, just no.

spooniestudent · 17/02/2017 01:05

Realistically, it's really really unlikely that something really terrible will happen (fire, abduction etc.) but it still could, surely it's just not worth the risk.
I'd also be really worried about dd waking up needing a wee or a drink or whatever, and finding herself in a strange place with no one around and being really scared, which isn't fair on her, and you not enjoying your night because you're worrying

TheySayIamparanoid · 17/02/2017 01:23

I agree with PP's that if you do go out, I would 'forget' something from room after about half hour that you need!

But I'd probably end up not going out and ordering room service/a takeaway once dd is asleep!

Italiangreyhound · 17/02/2017 01:34

No way would I leave my precious child alone in a hotel room and wouldn't give a flying fuck if anyone felt I was being precious about anything.

The fact your in laws think it is OK, would make me not want to leave her in in their care in a hotel.

I'd go out for an earlier meal with dd and save the romantic meal for a time when I could arrange a sitter at home.

When we go to a hotel we keep the lights (dim) all night as dd and ds need to be able to find the loo in a new setting and total darkness rules that out! I also set the TV to subtitles and have sound down, so I can read what is going on in the programmes.

Don't let anyone tell you, you are precious, you are wise.

PS too late to red all the posts and updates but hope you've come to a good conclusion.

FoxesSitOnBoxes · 17/02/2017 01:51

No no no. I was forced into a situation like this- PIL sent me out for a treat while DH was in Afghanistan and I was pregnant. They suggested taking DD out. I said they couldn't as they didn't have a car seat for her. They lied and said they could get one and just took her out in their car without one. She was 1. When I got home they were full of "I told you she'd be fine without one" It makes me furious thinking about it now (3 years later) and has really affected how I feel about them. I will never leave the children alone with them now.

AcrossthePond55 · 17/02/2017 02:26

I'd do the 'we'll take her along to your room' thing and if they balk at it, I'd assume that they planned to leave her alone without telling you and I'd cancel the reservation.

deliverdaniel · 17/02/2017 03:26

omg, absolutely no way.

KoalaDownUnder · 17/02/2017 03:38

No bloody way on earth!!

Original poster

Chamonix1 · 17/02/2017 07:30

They've told us they will sit with her, I'm yet to speak to them but will see them in a few hours and will gage how happy they are about it, I don't want them to do it if they REALLY don't want to and it's going to ruin their evening.
I'm screwed either way really because if I said "oh no don't worry, you go and enjoy your night we can go another time" there would be a fall out. Must get used to offending the easily offended when necessary.
I called my sister last night to verify that I'm not totally batshit, she could not believe they'd suggest it and now thinks my in laws are worrying thick/mad.
Hey ho, we shall see what the day brings!

OP posts:

BirdInTheRoom · 17/02/2017 08:00

Do what has been previously been said. - have them watch her in their own room and don't give them the key to yours. Collect your DD after the restaurant and bring her back to your room then. Then you can be sure they don't leave her.

beargrass · 17/02/2017 08:32

Also...given the issues with this, whatever you agree now will give them reason for it to form the basis of how they baby sit in the future. So you need to be happy not only with this but with any future cut n paste versions of this.

Thinkingblonde · 17/02/2017 08:45

I would tell them you don't want her to be left on her own at all, if they have any intention of leaving her alone then I'd rather they took the booking for the dinner, as I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself as I'd be worrying too much'.
Tell them it's too risky, you'd rather upset them in the short term rather than have a lifetime of regrets if anything happened to her.

And next time don't include them in your plans.

diddl · 17/02/2017 09:46

If they were happy to sit with her then there would never have been any mention of not doing so.

They obviously don't want to for whatever reason.

callmeadoctor · 17/02/2017 11:41

Ring the hotel and check if they have connecting room or suite. They may have had a cancellation today. Then everything is sorted.

callmeadoctor · 17/02/2017 11:42

Ask your husband to ring if you are unable?

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 17/02/2017 18:55

What's happened in the end? Thinking of you, it's hard being portrayed as the bad guy but not worth letting it go because of what could happen!

BertrandRussell · 17/02/2017 18:58

"He doesn't think about "what if" very often."

In this case, what a sensible man!

Original poster

Chamonix1 · 17/02/2017 21:57

Had a lovely meal.
Rooms were right next to each other and the only two rooms in the corridor but our room was a very big family room with 2 double beds and a pull out bed. In laws have looked after dd in our room. All is well.

To not want to leave DD aged 4 alone in a hotel room.

OP posts:

girlelephant · 17/02/2017 22:07

Glad it all worked out

ispentitwithyou1 · 17/02/2017 22:30

docpeppa · 17/02/2017 22:44

OP I'm not sure I would trust them to stay in the room with her now, you would probably find yourself checking on them every 20 minutes to make sure they were still with her! I also wouldn't worry about offending them or ruining their evening, your child's safety and wellbeing I way more important than their sensitivities. Stick to your guns x

Mummyoflittledragon · 18/02/2017 00:21

Good result

ironmanslady · 18/02/2017 01:13

Glad it all worked out op and glad you stood your ground! A few years back I was staying in a hotel with a friend and parents, me and friend had separate room. We were inside and then suddenly a random man unlocked the door and walk in. He was as shocked as us and made a hasty retreat. Turns out was a reception cock up but these things do happen better safe than sorry!

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