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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To not want to leave DD aged 4 alone in a hotel room.

308 replies

Chamonix1 · 16/02/2017 17:01

Going away this weekend, DH's parents are coming and have very generously paid for me and DH to go out for a meal, they said they'd watch DD in the hotel we are all staying in so we could have some time alone. Lovely.
However they've recently announced that they are going to settle DD in our room, call their room from our room and go back to their room and listen out for dd through the phone.
This doesn't sit right with me because surely hotel staff etc could access our room, what if they don't hear dd?
I'm trying to work out if I'm being precious here or if other people agree. It is making me feel a bit uneasy. They don't want to have to sit in the room with her as they'd need to be quiet so they didn't wake her... what the verdict mumsnet?

OP posts:
DonaldStott · 16/02/2017 17:22

No chance on this earth. I can't believe they think it's an okay thing to do! Tell them to go for the meal.

LittleMum91 · 16/02/2017 17:23

Never ever ever.

Xmasbaby11 · 16/02/2017 17:23

No, I would never do this.

Tabymoomoo · 16/02/2017 17:23

No way!
Put your fit down! Just tell them that you would not feel comfortable with this and could they either stay in your room with LO (asleep or not) or take her to their own room. If they are not willing to do this then say that you will have to cancel the meal.

Original poster
Chamonix1 · 16/02/2017 17:24

Zigzag
I could ask about a babysitter, I'm pretty sure if I suggested that they'd just say they'd sit in the room.
They could easily just sit in bed with dd, some popcorn and some wine and watch films with her and she would just zonk out and they could just relax. She sleeps on the sofa whilst I watch tv, Hoover, chat on the phone etc, if she's tired she sleeps.

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 16/02/2017 17:24

Definitely not , why can't one of them stay with her a read or watch tv quietly . The problem now is that they may well say to you that they will stay with her and then leave her when you've gone , personally I'd be eating with DD and letting the Inlaws have the table they've booked for dinner .

Tabymoomoo · 16/02/2017 17:24

Um I meant put your FOOT down Hmm

Lesley1980 · 16/02/2017 17:25

Could be an age thing. In the 70s/80s hotels often offered a babysitting service which was actually the kids being left alone in a room whilst the receptionist called on the phone every so often. The parents had dinner & danced the night away child free

PollyPerky · 16/02/2017 17:25

I'd not allow any unknown person ( hotel babysitter) to look after a child of mine. How do we know they are safe to be left alone with a child? Only got the hotel's word for it,. No way.

flumpybear · 16/02/2017 17:27

No way - I'd just cancel dinner!! They ether do it properly or don't do it at all!!! Ffs what if they fell asleep !? There's no speaker phone I'd guess ? Perhaps if they were next door otherwise not a
Chance

ninjapants · 16/02/2017 17:27

I recently stayed in a hotel sharing a room with my 3yo DS, my parents were across the corridor. There is no way I would have allowed this nor would they have suggested it. I'd rather not go out at all.
So what if they'll be offended, they're offending you with their ridiculous idea! Unless the room has a connecting door and they make regular checks this is unacceptable. I highly doubt the hotel would allow it either (if they knew)

Original poster
Chamonix1 · 16/02/2017 17:27

Bahh yes she's a good sleeper but as you said is more likely to wake in a new environment.
She often gets up for a wee, or gets too hot and asks for a drink etc. I'd say 70% of the time she will wake for something at least once doesn't actually sound like a good sleeper now I've written it down!

OP posts:
Cheby · 16/02/2017 17:28

I would ask your DH to talk to them. Surely anyone can see these days that it's a stupid, unsafe idea?

kittybiscuits · 16/02/2017 17:28

I would just say it's a shame that you'very changed your mind - we're not going out now.

Original poster
Chamonix1 · 16/02/2017 17:29

Polly I agree, we have 1 babysitter we use other than family and she spent a lot of time with me and dd together before she was left alone with her.
I don't think I'd be comfortable with a stranger watching dd on their own.

OP posts:
Funnyface1 · 16/02/2017 17:29

Not if you paid me. Tell them how you feel and if they fuss decline their 'generous' offer.

Original poster
Chamonix1 · 16/02/2017 17:30

Cheby you'd think wouldn't you?

OP posts:
Bahh · 16/02/2017 17:30

Well then yeah, if they're not going to compromise and do what you're comfortable with I'd send hubby in. His parents, his chat to have. Either they do it your way or no way.

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/02/2017 17:30

They made a choice to babysit and now don't want to follow through. Let them have the meal out. Look after your precious baby.

bumsexatthebingo · 16/02/2017 17:30

I would thank your IL's for their kind offer but tell them you just wouldn't be able to relax with your dd in the room on her own. Maybe suggest that you all go for the meal (if the restaurant has room) or that your IL's use the reservation if they've paid ahead. It would be hard to take offence at that. They may offer to sit with your dd once you've said how you feel but would you trust them to stay in the room?

Giddyaunt18 · 16/02/2017 17:30

Not ok with me. This what they did in their day though. Can they not settle her in their room then you carry her back later ?

Original poster
Chamonix1 · 16/02/2017 17:31

Flora
Oh god I didn't think of that. They wouldn't do that, would they?

OP posts:
brasty · 16/02/2017 17:31

I would say no, but instead say you don't need to sit in the room in silence. You can watch films with DG until she goes to sleep, and then sit and carry on watching the film and drink wine. Alternatively, they can take her to sleep in their room with them. Basically make it clear you are not expecting them to sit silently in a dark room.

JigglyTuff · 16/02/2017 17:32

Of course they should just sit on the bed with DD in it while they watch tv etc. She'll probably doze off before the watershed.

Settle her in their bedroom - then you can carry her to yours when you get back. And they can't leave her then

Giddyaunt18 · 16/02/2017 17:32

Just what do they plan on getting up to that they need to be in their own room???