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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To not want to leave DD aged 4 alone in a hotel room.

308 replies

Chamonix1 · 16/02/2017 17:01

Going away this weekend, DH's parents are coming and have very generously paid for me and DH to go out for a meal, they said they'd watch DD in the hotel we are all staying in so we could have some time alone. Lovely.
However they've recently announced that they are going to settle DD in our room, call their room from our room and go back to their room and listen out for dd through the phone.
This doesn't sit right with me because surely hotel staff etc could access our room, what if they don't hear dd?
I'm trying to work out if I'm being precious here or if other people agree. It is making me feel a bit uneasy. They don't want to have to sit in the room with her as they'd need to be quiet so they didn't wake her... what the verdict mumsnet?

OP posts:
chillx · 16/02/2017 17:12

What are your husbands feelings about the situation?

Original poster
Chamonix1 · 16/02/2017 17:13

Would totally cancel our evening but I'm very aware I'll have 2 very pissed off in laws as they've pre paid and they booked it for 7:30 for us.
I get too that they'd not want to sit in a semi dark room in silence, totally, that's why I wouldn't ask them to babysit in a hotel but they've offered and then backtracked after paying for and booking this meal

OP posts:
RoboticSealpup · 16/02/2017 17:13

No way in hell. As if they will sit there listening to the phone all night, they'll forget about it. Or it might not be audible if your DD gets out of bed, through a phone lying around somewhere in the room, that someone is only half listening to. DD might just wake and hang up and they won't know. Just imagine all the stuff she could get up to in the room all by herself. Shock

She's a child, not a pet that they can just lock in a room.

toffeeboffin · 16/02/2017 17:13

As a pp said watch means watch.

What is wrong with these people?! Confused

She's four!

HerOtherHalf · 16/02/2017 17:13

Depends how close the rooms are but even then I would argue that a phone is not a baby monitor. I very much doubt they'll get sufficient audio quality to keep a safe ear on her.

TeenAndTween · 16/02/2017 17:13

It is way different from a child being upstairs while you are downstairs.
I wouldn't do it myself.

Original poster
Chamonix1 · 16/02/2017 17:14

Chillx he hasn't thought about it. He doesn't think about "what if" very often.

OP posts:
stopdrawingonyourhands · 16/02/2017 17:15

A recent thread was conclusive in a big no to this for an eight year old so no way for a four year old!

Original poster
Chamonix1 · 16/02/2017 17:16

Looks like I'm going to have to say that I've thought about this and I'm not keen.
Going to be the awkward dil that ruins all the fun again

OP posts:
ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 16/02/2017 17:16

Not a chance, though I can understand they don't want to sit in the dark (or on the edge of the bath as I tend to do in this situation!) Could they take turns to sit with her or like pp above said hire a babysitter? If you're in Surrey I babysit :)

MissClarke86 · 16/02/2017 17:17

The thing is, even if they "hear" something e.g. Your DD tripping over, crying, someone entering the room - it's too late. It's not a familiar environment for her so she's also likely to wake up and be distressed or disorientated.

IrregularCommentary · 16/02/2017 17:17

No chance. Would you even be able to enjoy your night out anyway knowing that dd was in the room on her own?

I can understand why they don't want to sit quietly in a room all evening, but it was their offer and it's only for one night.

toffeeboffin · 16/02/2017 17:17

Late night for DD as a treat - stay up and watch Disney films till 9pm, it's not exactly difficult for one night.

bumsexatthebingo · 16/02/2017 17:18

They're not actually offering to watch her then are they? Its a half-hearted offer if they basically want to carry on with their evening as if they aren't babysitting. Take her with you - no harm in a 4 yr old having a late night when they go away. As nice as it would be to have a meal just you and dh it's not going to be relaxing for you knowing your dd is in the room alone.

toffeeboffin · 16/02/2017 17:19

I. E. The GPS watch a film, not you OP.

CheeseCrackersAndWine · 16/02/2017 17:19

Not a chance I'd do this my 7 year old never mind a 4 year old!

llangennith · 16/02/2017 17:20

I've sat babysitting various DGC in hotel rooms with TV on quietly enjoying a nice glass or two of wine. I can't believe your PIL could even consider leaving her along in a hotel room. That is not babysitting.

Cheerybigbottom · 16/02/2017 17:20

There's no way I would agree to that. If they get annoyed then so what, they can go themselves if it's all prebooked and you can all go out to a family place for a meal.

user1483387154 · 16/02/2017 17:21

no chance at all. Is it worth asking the hotel if they have childcare staff available for babysitting?

Original poster
Chamonix1 · 16/02/2017 17:21

Irregular
No I wouldn't enjoy my evening. I'm sat here biting my nails thinking about it.
When they mentioned it I didn't agree and just sort of thought "oh that's ages away" and said, well yeah I guess, maybe but never said "no" as was a bit flustered by the suggestion.
Now it's tomorrow it's all suddenly sinking and I'm trying to work out how to play this with out upsetting people. Again

OP posts:
PollyPerky · 16/02/2017 17:21

Your in laws don't appear to have thought this through at all.

If 4 adults stay in the same hotel and one set has a 4 year old, someone has to physically be in the room with the child. 'Listening' won't work- what if she's sick, or chokes, or opens windows, or decides to leave the room and go walkabout?

I think you forgo your meal or allow your in laws to stay at home in your house- or your DD at theirs- and you and your DH have the break.

Valeriemalorie · 16/02/2017 17:21

No way.

abbrev · 16/02/2017 17:21

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Bahh · 16/02/2017 17:22

Fair enough Chamonix.

Is she a good sleeper? I find when kids are out they are out (when it comes to external stimuli I mean - perfectly happy to wake 9287363929 times themselves just because) so it's not like they would have to be super silent mimes in the dark all evening surely. Have a lamp on away from her face, some quiet chatting or reading or TV when she's finally fallen asleep. Doesn't seem that much of an inconvenience.

alltouchedout · 16/02/2017 17:22

No way. As others have said, not even with my elder dc would this be OK with me.