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AIBU?

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Original poster

Birthday party one

229 replies

puppysurprise · 16/02/2017 05:07

So my LO is 4 this month. Party booked and invites all gone out. I've gotten several rsvps saying thanks for invite - - - would love to attend thank you. With the invited child and both parents names! Really?! Both parents? It's a children's party why on earth would both parents attend? It's limited spaces at the venue and I don't know what to do if it's full of mainly adults?

I just don't understand why you'd both want to go is it just me is this really odd? Surely a free Saturday afternoon to sleep / work / watch tv that's not CBeebies is welcome?

It's 15 kids 28 adults right now. Grandparents also invited.

OP posts:
Bantanddec · 16/02/2017 21:24

Don't worry about the adults outnumbering the kids, you'll get a fair few siblings turning up unannounced!

user1487280032 · 16/02/2017 21:25

Yeah I reckon one parent per child is what you would expect unless there are special cases... and parents are not to be overfed ;-)

WheresYouWheelieBin · 16/02/2017 21:31

I would say unusual. My husband has never, ever gone to another child's birthday party to which our children were invited, even before we had our youngest and we just had our twins (who were always both invited to parties). I always chaperoned, he enjoyed a few hours of peace and quiet.

WhyPost · 16/02/2017 21:36

It depends on the venue I suppose but in my experience it's usually just one parent that turns up.

OP, I think you should embrace this and make all the parents take part in the party games. That should put them off coming again 😂

Italiangreyhound · 16/02/2017 21:41

puppysurprise try not to worry, if it is very busy won't parents drift away?

If you need to limit numbers just say as they arrive, will one of you be staying? If they say both of us, just say it is tight for space and can one only stay.

Try not to worry, it is lovely lots of people want to come.

Minstrelsareyum · 16/02/2017 21:45

Pengwen just jumping in to suggest why not get your DTs to choose 10 friends each from their respective classes rather than invite the whole class? Then you have space for extra friends outside of school? I have always been bemused at whole class invites. I think choosing a few children might solve your worries Smile

neveradullmoment99 · 16/02/2017 21:53

At the age of 4 I would have stayed. Not because i would have wanted too would rather boil my head but because all my children would have been upset to be left with a parent they don't really know. They would be insecure and it would spoil it for them feeling this way and perhaps upset others/spoil the party!!!!

neveradullmoment99 · 16/02/2017 21:54

At nursery parties, most parents just stand around, they dont eat the food. They are just accompanying their child. I have done it many times.

GotToGetMyFingerOut · 16/02/2017 21:58

My son also four has been to a lot of parties this year and there's I'd say maybe three or four couples who have been at each one. Personally I don't understand it, me and dh take it in turns as we hate them.

Unless it's our personal friends or family not nursery friends then yeah we'd likely go but that's normal within our circle.

user1477282676 · 16/02/2017 22:00

My best friend has this...there's a couple who turn up to everything together. She invites their boy for a playdate, they both drop him off. She had a halloween party...both came.

Girly night out? He comes too.

Weird.

RupertsMum2 · 16/02/2017 22:14

Dh would rather stick toothpicks in his eyes than go to a children's party. Two parents is ridiculous. We only had 1 parent stay at ds1's 4th birthday party the rest dropped and ran.

thenightsky · 16/02/2017 22:20

DS had a soft play party for his 4th (thinking back I reckon that's the only proper party he had). Not one single parent stayed and I wasn't expecting them to. I had a table of 15 very cute and reasonably well behaved boys. I had DH and MIL to help round them up at collection time. Getting them off the soft play was the hardest bit.

bulletjournal · 16/02/2017 22:20

I have rarely seen one parent only at younger kids parties, it's usually both parents. They don't have to, but it's standard around here. Most parties don't last that long when they are little, so couples bring their kids in between doing other activities. Never thought it could be seen as weird.

MrsNuckyThompson · 16/02/2017 22:20

My DS is 3.5 and this is our first year of regular parties as he has started kindergarten. DH and I have both gone to several of the parties. It's a good chance to chat to other parents as we both work full time and rarely if ever to pick ups and drop offs. I suspect as DS gets older and we have 'been there done that' with parties this will become less usual for us.

NataliaOsipova · 16/02/2017 22:22

Dh would rather stick toothpicks in his eyes than go to a children's party.

And mine! In fact, last time he had to take little DD to one, I took pity on him and asked a mummy friend if she'd keep an eye on her at the party if he dropped and collected! Don't get the "family time" argument at all - it's a couple of hours your child gets to spend with his/her classmates. If we were keen to have family time (and I'm all in favour of this; there are squillions do these parties so missing some no big deal for most kids) them we would decline and go and do something else all together.

NataliaOsipova · 16/02/2017 22:23

...of these parties. Sorry!

Aah1521 · 16/02/2017 22:27

I work most weekends in retail so sometimes we will go together as I'll go to work DH will take home as I won't have time.
I do have quite bad social anxiety even with people I know so sometimes he will also come with so I don't panic
And I don't do height even in soft play so if DS gets stuck he goes to the rescue Wink

ph0ebe · 16/02/2017 22:51

Yanbu I find it odd when both parents stay. Why? Ffs your lives don't revolve around your child, get some hobbies Wink
But then I don't get why whole families go to the supermarket together either Confused

Mrsgingermum · 16/02/2017 22:51

Me and my husband always go together as we don't know any of the other parents. Plus the weekend is family time. It's a privilege that people give up time to come to a party.

RhodaBorrocks · 16/02/2017 22:58

At 4, both me and XP went with DS to parties when we could (even if it wasn't his weekend). DS had undiagnosed ASD and we would tag team as he was so anxious he needed a familiar adult with him at all times if he was to have the hope of being secure enough to speak, let alone join in.

If XP wasn't available then I'd go on my own but rarely got to have coffee with the adults and was usually having to sit on the floor amongst the kids so DS would join in!

When DS started having parties I never batted an eye when both parents would rock up!

bookeatingboy · 16/02/2017 23:02

I've hosted (and attended) many parties and I can't remember any where both parents have been in attendance... Confused

The invitation is for your child, not you, so unless your child is too young (5 or under) or has some additional needs whereby you need to stay with them, there is no need for a parent to be there, let alone two.

I just find it very strange that both parents want to attend too!

Astro55 · 16/02/2017 23:13

Odd! One one couple used to attend and stand in a corner together - fail to see this as sociable

so takes the awkwardness of hanging around like a lemon out

No - it makes you look more like a lemon -

bumsexatthebingo · 16/02/2017 23:24

I'd say about half came with both parents when my kids were that age. Like pp's have said a lot of parents value family time at the weekend and may well be coming from somewhere or going on somewhere afterwards and don't want to have to go home/to another venue to collect the other parent.
If you only wanted 1 parent to attend or wanted children dropped off you should have said so on the invitation.

ph0ebe · 16/02/2017 23:28

Me and my husband always go together as we don't know any of the other parents
Confused talk to them so you get to know them?

WhyPost · 16/02/2017 23:33

The invitation is for your child, not you, so unless your child is too young (5 or under) or has some additional needs whereby you need to stay with them, there is no need for a parent to be there, let alone two

This is exactly what I think. It's an invitation for a CHILD to attend another CHILDS party. It's not a family invitation - unless stated otherwise.

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