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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to assume I can use their shampoo/shower gel when visiting?

404 replies

Smudge612 · 15/02/2017 11:25

I don't mean rummaging in their bathroom cupboards or anything Hmm, but for example, we have shower gel, shampoo & conditioner out on the side of the bath (shower over bath job). I would assume guests would use them if they needed when they stay at mine - and am happy for them to do so. Is it wrong to assume I can then do the same thing if I stay over somewhere???

OP posts:
Mommawoo · 15/02/2017 13:18

We're skint and buy shampoo and shower gel from Lidl, so i'm more likely to pinch the guests stuff as it will probably be better than mine.

Applesauce29 · 15/02/2017 13:19

Seriously?! I can't believe how tight some people are! And why begrudge someone cheese on toast? If you're that precious why invite people to stay in the first place?

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 15/02/2017 13:23

same as sharing a towel ...honestly how do people like you get about your daily lives??

.... touching things other people have touched, sitting on seat other people have sat on, drinking out of cups other people have used.

Lweji · 15/02/2017 13:25

Of course guests should be able to use toiletries.

If anyone has extra special gold plated shampoo for personal use only, then keep it away.

Do people also expect guests to take their own toilet paper? Hmm

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 15/02/2017 13:26

I'm shocked at how inhospitable and downright tight some people are though I really shouldn't be I suppose as these type of threads come up a lot. Would people really expect guests to schlep along bottles of shampoo, conditioner, shower gel and so on if invited to stay?

We often have DB, SIL and their dc to stay for 4 or 5 days and occasionally we'll stay with them. They are in the U.K., we're in Ireland. We would all always say not to bother bringing toiletries and ensure we've plenty in for them to use, saves everyone the hassle of having to pack extra, get them through airport security and so on. I don't know anyone in RL as tight and begrudging as some MNers...

expatinscotland · 15/02/2017 13:29

'honestly how do people like you get about your daily lives??

.... touching things other people have touched, sitting on seat other people have sat on, drinking out of cups other people have used.'

So true. I wonder who are all these freaks? Most people don't give a shit, IME. Cannot believe someone likened using the same toiletries to using the same towel.

Serin · 15/02/2017 13:32

Why ask people to stay if you aren't going to make them feel welcome.

That said, I live with 3 men who don't know their Elemis from their Sanex so I do tend to keep my nicer things hidden away for their own protection.

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 15/02/2017 13:32

Ooooh I always do and I always make sure we are well stocked for guests. Never thought to ask Blush

Serin · 15/02/2017 13:37

WTF!! How did the word Elemis in my last post become a link??

I didn't link to it at all?

Giddyaunt18 · 15/02/2017 13:37

I wouldn't mind but would probably say so to my guests. If I was staying with someone and forgot my shower gel I would just ask if they minded.

Serin · 15/02/2017 13:37

Spooky.

Or V Cheeky Hmm

MrsHathaway · 15/02/2017 13:38

Serin - check this thread on Skimlinks.

Giddyaunt18 · 15/02/2017 13:39

notvery what a lovely person your soil is!! Shock

Giddyaunt18 · 15/02/2017 13:39

sil not soil

Hillingdon · 15/02/2017 13:41

Very interesting question! I have two posh bottles of handwash. They look like new but inside is Superdrug's finest.

People do comment on the bottle though!

With regard to shampoo, shower gel etc. If we have people to stay anything that is hung out should be used. The very expensive shampoo is put away but I always leave out decent toiletries like Radox, John Frieda hair products etc.

expatinscotland · 15/02/2017 13:42

'If I was staying with someone and forgot my shower gel I would just ask if they minded.'

What if they said no?

GertrudeBelle · 15/02/2017 13:44

I do have expensive shower stuff. It is a luxury I indulge in and am often given it as special presents for birthdays etc. I was also brought up always to take my own supplies to other people's houses and only take what was expressly offered to me.

So it has come as a surprise to know that it is quite acceptable for others to just help themselves to my stuff if it is not locked away.

I will now put my nice products away and have more day-to-day things on show.

None of this means that I am not a good host. I serve my guests endless drinks and naice nibbles. They have a wardrobe to themselves and fresh flowers and towels in their room. I find out their favourite food and often go to great lengths to cook it for them. I stay up talking late into the night talking even if I am desperate for bed, if it's clear they want company.

Not suggesting that I deserve a medal for this but the posters who are calling me tight or saying that I "don't deserve to have guests" are way off beam.

mistermagpie · 15/02/2017 13:45

Go some people are tight, moaning about shower gel and toothpaste??!

People are welcome to use whatever they want at my house. They can even have a good rummage in the bathroom drawers if they really want, because 'private' stuff like medication, contraception etc is kept in our bedroom anyway. It's only shower gel and shampoo for god's sake, not the milk of a unicorn. Also people saying 'I would use a tiny smidge of shampoo', what's the difference between that and a normal blob? A few ml? Who really cares?

That said, I do take my own stuff when we stay with other people (which is precisely never) because I am fussy about certain products.

Giddyaunt18 · 15/02/2017 13:45

What if they said no? LOL! I don't know any weirdos!

steff13 · 15/02/2017 13:46

I can't imagine that I would give a moment's notice to whether a guest used my shampoo or shower gel. It's in the shower to be used. Whoever is in there can use it.

Bubbinsmakesthree · 15/02/2017 13:47

People who say they'd ask first - what do you expect people to say? You're putting people in a position where they can't really say no, it's a bit awkward. Assuming you're using a trivial amount just get on with it.

MrsHathaway · 15/02/2017 13:50

If you ask first then you give them a chance to say "Yes, that's fine, just not DD's Soap & Glory that she got for Christmas".

bulletjournal · 15/02/2017 13:53

Frankly, if it feels like so much trouble for people to have us as guests, I'd rather stay in a hotel.

I cannot imagine inviting people over, and resenting them for the minute amount of shower gel they use, or them exceeding the number of allocated toasts in the morning. Some people on MN are so strange.

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 15/02/2017 13:55

Gertrude if you're going to all that trouble then be a dear and pop a couple of bottles of generic toiletries in the bathroom for them, you may find its very much appreciated Wink

Seriously though, there's nothing wrong with putting away your high end or specialist items but ime people really appreciate not having to travel with multiple extra items, especially with dc. To me it just seems part of making people welcome -

Guest: mind if I go and have a shower?
Me: Of course, there's fresh towels in your room, help yourself to shower gel etc it's all in the bathroom

I would honestly see it the same as having tea and coffee in for them.

dowhatnow · 15/02/2017 13:56

I'd assume that if you are close enough to host or be hosted, that sharing a few toiletries is no big deal and part of the "package" - part and parcel of being a good host.
If there was something I didn't want being used I'd remove that and replace with something ok.

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