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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to assume I can use their shampoo/shower gel when visiting?

404 replies

Smudge612 · 15/02/2017 11:25

I don't mean rummaging in their bathroom cupboards or anything Hmm, but for example, we have shower gel, shampoo & conditioner out on the side of the bath (shower over bath job). I would assume guests would use them if they needed when they stay at mine - and am happy for them to do so. Is it wrong to assume I can then do the same thing if I stay over somewhere???

OP posts:
DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 15/02/2017 11:46

Ask first.

HappyAxolotl · 15/02/2017 11:47

I take my own stuff anyway, but if I ran out I'd use a tiny amount of the cheapest stuff already out in the bathroom. Then admit it, so I could either grab a bottle while I'm out or be told "oh, don't worry, we've got plenty, help yourself".

JaxingJump · 15/02/2017 11:48

Please don't ask me. If I've invited you to my home you are welcome to use normal and essential things people use when going about daily life.

kingpin20 · 15/02/2017 11:50

Depends how long you are staying. if you are staying with someone for say a week, then take your own. If its for 1 night, then I think its reasonable to just use theirs.

SuperFlyHigh · 15/02/2017 11:51

In certain relatives houses I certainly use theirs if I haven't brought anything and they don't mind. In their houses too, there is a guest bathroom with "guest" shampoo etc so I know that's fine to use. I also find though with these friends/guests there's more often than not a Boots or supermarket nearby so if I've forgotten shampoo/toothpaste etc I can easily drop by and get some!

Friends I do share their toiletries sometimes and expect them to share mine but tend to bring my own (washbag too).

As iwasjustabout says if it's for eg a weekend then fine for guests to use stuff but for 2 weeks no!

GertrudeBelle · 15/02/2017 11:51

Shock It never occurred to me that guests would help themselves to stuff I have left out! I always bring my own and expect others to do the same. Will have to lock my stuff away in future Shock

TheNaze73 · 15/02/2017 11:53

I'd always ask & never assume

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 15/02/2017 11:54

I'd be happy for anyone to use our toiletries if they were staying. We have a wee set of drawers in the bathroom with all the smellies in them. That said, when friends come to stay I put towels and a wee toiletry mini pack on their bed (started it years ago with friends and it stuck, we all do it now). But I wouldn't care what they used as long as it wasn't sponges/washcloths or toothbrushes.

KoalaDownUnder · 15/02/2017 11:54

Will have to lock my stuff away in future

Huh? Is it liquid gold or something?!

I wouldn't care if my guests used even my expensive stuff. They're my family or friends, it's no big deal.

SuperFlyHigh · 15/02/2017 11:56

Having said that it's a really good idea to save (if you don't want them) those travel or free sachets of shampoo, moisturisers etc and leave in a basket (plastic or wicker) either in guest room or in bathroom for guests to use.

In fact I've got a few Champneys (those Boots offers) travel bags that I often leave in bathroom or guest room which have lovely shower gel etc in them!

cardibach · 15/02/2017 11:56

Why will you have to lock it away Gertrude? What harm will it do you if someone's uses a squirt of your shower gel?
Some people just shouldn't have visitors. I can't believe such pettiness.

harderandharder2breathe · 15/02/2017 11:56

Who do you have stay in your home that you would begrudge a blob of shampoo?!

5moreminutes · 15/02/2017 11:57

I wouldn't even notice - there are 5 of us in the house so nobody is tracking who uses the shower gel and we have plenty in the cupboard... But it would be rude to use something "special" rather than generic stuff (DC1 uses her pocket money to buy her choice of strange unicorn themed shower gel sometimes, and her friends gave her stuff from the range for Christmas etc - it's clearly not generic and nobody else uses it)

I would never plan to use someone else's shampoo and shower gel though, it feels weirdly personal and I'd rather not - I fly hand luggage only to visit family but take my own miniatures and buy more while there if staying more than a couple of days.

SuperFlyHigh · 15/02/2017 11:57

I also always keep a spare toothbrush (Sainsbos basic) in its wrapping so guests can use if they've forgotten one.

INeedNewShoes · 15/02/2017 11:58

I would use a smidgen of shampoo and conditioner at a friend's house if it was on the side of the bath and I would expect my guests to do the same if they hadn't brought their own.

Even with expensive shampoo and conditioner I've bought in the past (£16 per bottle) I couldn't get precious about someone using one blob of it!

I wouldn't use someone's moisturiser to do a top-to-toe covering though and nor would I use face creams etc. which can be extortionately expensive and somehow seems more personal than a bit of hair-washing product.

BreconBeBuggered · 15/02/2017 11:58

Wow, people get arsey over shampoo and shower gel? Do you put lines on the bottles to see if the levels go down? If I have guests I expect them to use whatever they need.

ComtesseDeSpair · 15/02/2017 11:59

If I'm staying somewhere for a week I take my own. If only a night, I assume host's toiletries, if left out, are fair game, to be honest. I don't have "for show" toiletries or towels or whatever, and if people are staying over then I'm presumably close enough to them to not begrudge them a squirt of my expensive shampoo, so it wouldn't occur to me (prior to this thread) that others might feel differently.

Original poster
Smudge612 · 15/02/2017 11:59

MrsHathaway - eeek, I didn't consider the razor!!
I'm not going away - we have house guests this week and they have been using our shampoo/shower gel etc, I am fine with it as I would do the same thing - but DP is not so happy.. - just thought I'd gauge other peoples reactions.
It's not cheap stuff, but it's bought in TK Maxx - so cheaper! Wink

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia - yep that's my view!

OP posts:
bloodyteenagers · 15/02/2017 12:01

Stuff I don't want people to use I move. But even with stuff moved there's plenty for others to clean every part of their body.

ithakabythesea · 15/02/2017 12:02

I am aghast someone would lock their shampoo and shower gel away in case friends and family used a squirt. Aghast!

EatSpamAmandaLamb · 15/02/2017 12:04

Furious if someone used your face wash? Really? Furious? Yes it might be expensive but a.) do you think your uncle Terry realises how expensive different brands of face wash are? And b.) as long as they aren't using great handfuls of the stuff surely it is good hospitality to just accept people will use what it available to them unless you say otherwise and you probably wouldn't notice a little squeeze of product.

When people come to my house if there was something I didn't want them to use or I couldn't afford to replace I would pop it in my room. I can't afford to replace my Alpha H Liquid Gold at the moment and the cap is dodgy. No one I know would realise it is over £30 for a tiny bottle and I wouldn't want them to spill it down the sink and feel bad if they somehow found out the price. As it is, it is in the en suite but if it is was in the bath room a guest should be likely to use I would remove to my private space.

IsabelleSE19 · 15/02/2017 12:04

I would never begrudge guests using anything that's left out in the shower or bath! If there was anything I really didn't want them to use I'd put it away while they were staying.

I would ask if I was staying somewhere else, unless I suddenly realised I'd forgotten something while I was actually in the bathroom.

TheFlyingFauxPas · 15/02/2017 12:08

My mum puts away any shampoo and conditioner that smooths. She leaves out extra body as she knows I won't use that Hmm She usually leaves a little pack in my bedroom though when I stay at Christmas. love her 💕

ChipmunkSundays · 15/02/2017 12:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

poundinthewood · 15/02/2017 12:10

I put my stuff away and leave out travel stuff and nicer towels for guests. If they use them, fine, if not the next guests get them.