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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to assume I can use their shampoo/shower gel when visiting?

404 replies

Smudge612 · 15/02/2017 11:25

I don't mean rummaging in their bathroom cupboards or anything Hmm, but for example, we have shower gel, shampoo & conditioner out on the side of the bath (shower over bath job). I would assume guests would use them if they needed when they stay at mine - and am happy for them to do so. Is it wrong to assume I can then do the same thing if I stay over somewhere???

OP posts:
anonbecauseiwanna · 15/02/2017 12:33

I put out miniature toiletries, towels, dressing gowns etc in guest rooms when people are staying but I wouldn't mind them using stuff that's out in the bathroom (I keep my really nice stuff in the cupboard anyway)

INeedNewShoes · 15/02/2017 12:33

The only time I get at all miffed about something similar is that when my brother's family and I are at my parents his whole family of 4 have used my toothpaste for up to a week in the past. Its not that I'm bothered about them using it, but at that rate it can mean that I'm left short of toothpaste by the end of the stay and the toothpaste nozzle somehow ends up in a right mess. I love them dearly though so it doesn't bother me beyond being mildly irritating.

Notveryhappyvalley · 15/02/2017 12:33

I stayed in a self catering cottage with my DH, my SIL and her DP and various DCs. First I noticed my shampoo and shower gel were going down quite quickly which I wasn't too bothered about but thought was a bit off as we were both away from home so surely she'd have brought her own. Then I noticed we were going through nappies at a rate of knots. I asked her about that one and she quite openly said 'I didn't bother bringing any cos I knew you'd have some'. Finally I went into my bedroom one day to find her in there using my roll on deodorant! She didn't bat an eyelid just said 'it's ok if I use this, isn't it?'. 'Looks like you already are' I replied.

So visitors to my home are welcome to help themselves to my shampoo and shower gel but bring your own roll on please. We don't holiday with my SIL anymore!

MrsHathaway · 15/02/2017 12:34

Regarding food/drinks, etc, I'd want house guests to help themselves to tea/coffee/squash etc and the biscuit tin, but I think I would feel a bit weird about someone making cheese on toast rather than jam on toast as it's a meal rather than a snack. They might use up something I was planning to use later on.

When I'm hosting I provide meals (obvs) so it would feel a bit like they were rejecting what I'd offered, and potentially mucking up my plans. I do make sure there's plenty in for breakfast that they like, though, and point it out to them the night before.

I think the pp's inhospitable friend should have got his arse out of bed sooner to make his guest's breakfast so she wasn't left scrabbling around to work out what to eat! Grin

Trainspotting1984 · 15/02/2017 12:35

Yep I'd use it- wouldn't ask just take- and would expect guests to use my stuff

bulletjournal · 15/02/2017 12:38

Of course it's fine to use. If shower gels/body wash/ face wash are on show, it means they are there to be used. You wouldn't ask if it is ok to use hand wash after using the loos, would you?

Not ok to open the cupboards to rummage.

And who doesn't tell their guests it's ok to help themselves with tea/ coffee or anything if they get up early? Confused Do you lock their bedroom doors at night to ensure they don't go wandering?

RhiWrites · 15/02/2017 12:41

I keep my toiletries in a basket in a cupboard so I wouldn't want you taking them out and using them. But I have a nice basket of guest toiletries (hotel miniatures) I leave out.

There's many different kinds of hospitality.

MPerspective · 15/02/2017 12:41

I would use theirs. And I would expect to be asked when they use mine Grin Halo

FireInTheHead · 15/02/2017 12:45

If think if you're at the 'lock stuff away' level, having guests probably isn't for you. Please don't subject them to your inhospitality, suggest a good hotel nearby instead.

As for the tea/coffee thing, I think it was tongue in cheek but in view of some pps, perhaps not!

liz70 · 15/02/2017 12:47

"The first cuppa's on the house, then after that, you can use your own, you spongeing, freeloading cow!

This was a joke, right? I have to check because a few posters seriously seem to think like this. Still aghast!"

Yes, it was a joke. Smile I'm as aghast as you are at some people's stinginess!

napmeistergeneral · 15/02/2017 12:52

Only ever on mumsnet have I seen this question asked - and had it revealed to me that there are people out there who won't share shampoo. With guests. Who they presumably invited. Pop down to the supermarket the day before they arrive and get some cheap and cheerful bottles if you don't want to share your luxury stuff. But come on, you're the host!

EssentialHummus · 15/02/2017 12:55

I always leave a few hotel miniatures in our guest room though, because I know some people do feel funny about using other people's shower stuff.

Same here - I nick them from hotels with wild abandon for just this reason Grin. Anyone is welcome to use my stuff too, though I'll hide the more-expensive-than-printer-ink curly hair gunk I use.

expatinscotland · 15/02/2017 12:57

Unless you're in a 5-star hotel, hotel toiletries are shit. I bring my own stuff, but I'm fine with guests using mine. It's all run of the mill stuff - Nivea, L'Oreal, etc.

They're free to rustle up food, too. What if they can't eat the meal I provide? I'm lactose intolerant, so if host serves up the ubiquitous lasagne or pesto pasta I won't be able to eat it, even with the tablets that help me digest lactose, I don't fully and dairy makes me sick.

Can't believe someone would begrudge a guest cheese on toast.

sabzii · 15/02/2017 13:01

I leave a basket of toiletries in the guest bathroom, but generally find people bring their own. The basket is more in case they forget something.

If guests were sharing the same bathroom as us, I'd feel a bit weird about them using our toiletries and would provide a basket in their room. Just feels odd to have guests using the same bottle of shower gel/shampoo rather like sharing a towel!

lottiegarbanzo · 15/02/2017 13:03

Shower gel or soap yes, shampoo or facial wash no.

People usually have hair and skin products to suit their type, which is often different to mine. These can be expensive, specialist products. It would make no sense for me to waste them. I want to use my own shampoo and face wash, that suits me.

I'd expect guests to bring their own - but wouldn't mind mine being used, as they're not particularly expensive, though would be a bit surprised (if they wanted anti-dandruff shampoo, they were taking a risk by not bringing their own!).

We do have some little hotel bottles which would work for this purpose but people always bring their own wash stuff.

bulletjournal · 15/02/2017 13:06

now wondering if guests are allowed to have the heating on or switch the light on in their bedrooms. Some people are so extravagant don't you know!

It should be a joke but, I have seen on here parents expecting money to feed and cover basic needs of the kids they have invited for a holiday...

PrivatePike · 15/02/2017 13:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lottiegarbanzo · 15/02/2017 13:07

Actually, trying other people's, often more expensive, shampoos and conditioners, was something I did as a teenager. But knew I shouldn't be doing really.

toffeeboffin · 15/02/2017 13:07

I would.

YANBU.

mellowfartfulness · 15/02/2017 13:12

It's only like sharing a towel if everyone rubs their arse vigorously on the shampoo bottle every time they use it.

FireInTheHead · 15/02/2017 13:12

sabzik Come on now. Picking up a bottle of shower gel or shampoo and squeezing out a dollop is like sharing a towel? No. Not even close.

lemonzest123 · 15/02/2017 13:15

My policy when friends or housemates friends stay over if use/eat/borrow anything you like/can find. Unfortunately we've normally run out of the thing in question.

twilightcafe · 15/02/2017 13:18

Toiletries in the guest bathroom are for anyone to use. However, I take my own stuff when staying away from home.

Anything really expensive gets put away since my sister used half a bottle of £25 cleansing oil as a shower gel.

twilightcafe · 15/02/2017 13:18

Toiletries in the guest bathroom are for anyone to use. However, I take my own stuff when staying away from home.

Anything really expensive gets put away since my sister used half a bottle of £25 cleansing oil as a shower gel.

twilightcafe · 15/02/2017 13:18

Toiletries in the guest bathroom are for anyone to use. However, I take my own stuff when staying away from home.

Anything really expensive gets put away since my sister used half a bottle of £25 cleansing oil as a shower gel.