AIBU to assume I can use their shampoo/shower gel when visiting?

[Smudge612]

I don't mean rummaging in their bathroom cupboards or anything , but for example, we have shower gel, shampoo & conditioner out on the side of the bath (shower over bath job). I would assume guests would use them if they needed when they stay at mine - and am happy for them to do so. Is it wrong to assume I can then do the same thing if I stay over somewhere???

I'd never assume I could use someone else's toiletries. I'd bring my own or if I was desperate I'd ask them.

So what about tea bags or coffee? If a guest comes down stairs in the morning can they help themselves to a cup of tea or coffee, maybe a slice of toast before you get up? They are all consumables, something most people use everyday like shower gel. Where do you draw the line?

However, some people don't seem to know the meaning of the word "hospitality"

What was I saying… ?

Assuming it's run-of-the-mill products (bottle of Radox type stuff, nothing that's obviously pricey), I would have no problem using a little and would think it rather OTT for anyone to feel the need to ask permission to use 5p's worth of shower gel.

How does your DP know they've been using it?

I would always take my own, but if for whatever reason I didn't have my own with me, I would always ask first.
Similarly I would prefer guests to ask before helping themselves.

"So what about tea bags or coffee?"

The first cuppa's on the house, then after that, you can use your own, you spongeing, freeloading cow!

So what about tea bags or coffee? If a guest comes down stairs in the morning can they help themselves to a cup of tea or coffee, maybe a slice of toast before you get up?

Oh god, I have a friend who still goes on, a decade later, about the barefaced cheek of a mutual friend who came to stay and made herself some cheese on toast for breakfast in the morning with his cheese. She used a couple of slices of a regular block of supermarket cheddar in the fridge, not the whole roundel of artisan goats' cheese from the farmers market he'd been saving for the cheeseboard or whatever. Madness!

I would ask, but everyday stuff, I wouldn't expect to be asked.

If there was a shower gel and Oilatum (for example), I'd expect them to ask before just using a 'specialist' product.

I usually put more expensive body cream etc, in my bedroom, though.

It wouldn't bother me if someone used my stuff and it is doubtful that i would even notice if they did.

PinkFluffiUnicorn "I would expect a person staying with me to use them, but I would ask if I was staying somewhere."

But would you tell any guests that you expect them to use yours, or leave them wondering if it was OK, like the OP?

The first cuppa's on the house, then after that, you can use your own, you spongeing, freeloading cow!

This was a joke, right? I have to check because a few posters seriously seem to think like this. Still aghast!

If I stay at mum's I don't take bathroom toiletries with me but I take cleanser, make up, hairspray etc. If we have guests I put toiletries in their en suite for them.

I always just use what's there. Wouldn't think to ask. And I would think it was a bit overly polite if someone one staying with me felt they had to ask.
Maybe if someone only had really expensive stuff out I might ask.

I would ask about shampoo and conditioner but not shower gel or soap. I wouldn't expect anyone to ask at our house though and wouldn't notice if they used stuff. I wouldn't expect people to rummage in bathroom cabinets without asking.
I try to remember to tell guests to use shampoo/ soap if they want but usually forget.

"Oh god, I have a friend who still goes on, a decade later, about the barefaced cheek of a mutual friend who came to stay and made herself some cheese on toast for breakfast in the morning with his cheese."

I'd be banging on to him about his own unbelievably rude and tight-arsed inhospitability a decade later!

I can't believe there are people here who would "be furious" about this!

Seriously! Get a bit more realistic about what actually matters in life!

Or don't have guests if you're too tight to share a bit of shampoo!

I was wondering the same about that post ithakabythesea.

I'd ask about hair stuff too, and 'extras' like body scrubs, but would just use shower gel and soap unless told otherwise or they looked super-expensive and 'special'. Don't really know why.

But if your DH isn't happy about it, he should tell guests when they arrive what they can and can't use. People just need to know.

And another thing...it's common sense isn't it? If you have a pot of moisturiser which has been impregnated with pure gold and the tears of ocelots and costs a grand an ounce...put the fucker away.

I wouldn;t know the difference between a pot of something which cost a fiver and a pot which cost fifty quid. I don't go in for that...I buy whatever's the cheapest.

I wouldn't care if someone used mine naturally...but if yours is so expensive it's on your insurance, then put it away!

I don't think I'd give a shit if you use my shower gel (I often go for whatever's £1 and nice smelling from Tesco or whatever) or my shampoo/conditioner. (Seems mean to begrudge someone a blob of Head & Shoulders) Same for toothpaste. And if you wanted to gorge yourself on toast, feel free, it's not like bread is expensive.

My family and friends I would use as I know none of them would care and expect it.
My in-laws...I wouldn't dare ask.
Or stay over.

I know a few people who have expensive toiletries out "for show" and retrieve the value stuff from the cupboard every time

Do people do this? REALLY? Is it a 'thing'? How do you know??? Who are they trying to impress? How incredibly odd.