To consider having sex with a senior coworker?

[angieneri]

I would love to get some perspective on a situation I am currently dealing with. I am 29 and single. A few months ago I broke up with a very long-term bf with whom sex had always been pretty awful. Consequentially my sexual life has been terrible for the last 6 years and I have yet to sleep with anyone after the break up.

I work at a big company where hooking up with and dating coworkers is pretty normalized and accepted. Most of my coworkers are young-ish and single, people hang out socially after work and get drunk together. I know of at least 5/6 people who are currently sleeping with/ seeing some other coworkers. That is not a problem in my company.

A couple of weeks ago a man who is very senior in the company (C-level executive) approached me during a Friday night out after work. We flirted a bit and we ended up making out (plus some...). It was absolutely wild, sexy, hot and thrilling

This man is 20 years older than me and just highly unsuitable in many many ways. We don't work together as we are in different departments. Also, as I previously said, my company is pretty relaxed about dating coworkers so it would not be a problem from that perspective.

He is now pursuing me, I think just for sex. It would be just sex, but God knows how much I desidere having good sex after many years of sexual apathy with ex-bf. I have no feelings for this man other than a strong sexual attraction.

My question is: what do I do? Do I go for it? Do I play it safe and pull back?

Part of me wants to give in and just enjoy some crazy hot sex. The other part of me is terrified of having sex with someone who is so much older than me and a senior coworker.

Mumsnetters, please help

If you have to ask the question the answer is no.

I wouldn't, not for just sex, too much of a risk of messing up your career with the fallout.

I have had two relationships with men more than twenty years older than me, neither were sleazy or serial shaggers, neither treated me as any kind of trophy. As a side point they were both amazing in bed.
I'm still best friends with one of them and parted on good terms with the other. I don't think its age so much as character which is the key thing. ANY person who tries to treat you as a conquest or as something to brag/smirk about needs to be shown the door, swiftly.

What want2b says.

For you this has already moved beyond casual, meaningless sex.

Do not do it. Imo work and sex do not mix. Especially if one person is significantly senior.

Well, I guess this is why they invented Viagra.

He's 50 not 80!

I find the assumption that he will need Viagra quite amusing 😀

There are some wonderfully ignorant people on this thread. I don't think at any stage has the OP mentioned Werthers Originals, him owning a Frinton Ferrari or him playing bowls. Being in your 50's, does not make him 92.

You go for it OP. If he's definitely single. And providing he gets the viagra....

I find the assumption that he will need Viagra quite amusing

Me too.

Please do it, preferably in an expensive hotel room and report back.

I loved older men when I was in my 20s - a bit of stubble, a gravelly voice, the smell of scotch.... sigh.

Seriously, do men in their (very) late 40s/ early 50s need Viagra?

My husband is 46 and requires no Viagra.

Er it depends on the man. Some men need it from young most are fine and don't "need" it until older, some never need it. 50 I would doubt it but does it matter?

It's a bit cliché.

He sounds like a prize wanker and likely to disappoint you in bed.

Oh just go for it, enjoy yourselves, don't worry x

Oh if you want to, do it. I had a fling with a 35 year old lawyer when I was a 22 year old legal secretary and it was fan-tastic

I'm especially glad I did it because I met my now fiancé a month after it finished and it was a last horrah of shamelessness before getting into a grown up, loving, forever relationship

Angie. ..no viagra required here (50's)

I'd be quite tempted, as long as you keep your brain turned on and be prepared to extricate yourself gracefully from the situation if it stops working for you. Enjoy the sex!

I met my single older, very senior man through hooking up at work (19 years older). I was a grad I left the firm after a year when we were still going for various reasons, one being his position (the other being more money!). He didn't ask me to go. Glad I did; anyway 8 years later still happy! Age gaps not for everyone. But go for it never know what happiness you may stumble upon

Seriously, do men in their (very) late 40s/ early 50s need Viagra?

At 49... very, very much no!!!

I don't see a problem with this. If two single people wish to enjoy a no strings sexual relationship. Just lay your cards on the table so both parties know exactly where they stand.

Do it, but bear in mind that if people suss it out, you will be office gossip, so it depends if you mind that.

Do it in my company it's not what you do or who you know it's who you sleep with that gets you promotion.

DH is 60s and can assure you Viagra not required.

Did you not see the report yesterday in the press which said that 25% of men in their mid 80s are still having sex?

Worra

"Don't mix cock and work" should be a t-shirt...😂

Why do you think he'll be ama big at the sex, OP?

On a slight tangent - but why the disdain about viagra. It has a function for men who suffer from erectile dysfunction - doesn't make a man who uses it less of a man - in the same way using a vaginal lubricant wouldn't make a woman suffering from dryness anyless of a woman.

op - if you're sure he's single (and not 'it's complicated/we're separated/we sleep in different bedrooms etc.) then go ahead - you really don't need the Internet to tell you

Agree MrsFrisby - Viagra & similar meds only work if there is sexual desire, which a lot of people don't realise. If a man isn't interested, then no erections!