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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To consider having sex with a senior coworker?

169 replies

angieneri · 14/02/2017 21:15

I would love to get some perspective on a situation I am currently dealing with. I am 29 and single. A few months ago I broke up with a very long-term bf with whom sex had always been pretty awful. Consequentially my sexual life has been terrible for the last 6 years and I have yet to sleep with anyone after the break up.

I work at a big company where hooking up with and dating coworkers is pretty normalized and accepted. Most of my coworkers are young-ish and single, people hang out socially after work and get drunk together. I know of at least 5/6 people who are currently sleeping with/ seeing some other coworkers. That is not a problem in my company.

A couple of weeks ago a man who is very senior in the company (C-level executive) approached me during a Friday night out after work. We flirted a bit and we ended up making out (plus some...). It was absolutely wild, sexy, hot and thrilling Blush

This man is 20 years older than me and just highly unsuitable in many many ways. We don't work together as we are in different departments. Also, as I previously said, my company is pretty relaxed about dating coworkers so it would not be a problem from that perspective.

He is now pursuing me, I think just for sex. It would be just sex, but God knows how much I desidere having good sex after many years of sexual apathy with ex-bf. I have no feelings for this man other than a strong sexual attraction.

My question is: what do I do? Do I go for it? Do I play it safe and pull back?

Part of me wants to give in and just enjoy some crazy hot sex. The other part of me is terrified of having sex with someone who is so much older than me and a senior coworker.

Mumsnetters, please help Confused

OP posts:
angieneri · 14/02/2017 22:02

TheSquat we did not have sex, we just made out and, well, some light foreplay.

I am definitely going through an identity crysis, I just got out of a long, unhappy, sexless relationship and I need to re-learn how I am and what I want. I thought experimenting with sex could be part of this process though. I am not looking for another serious relationship.

OP posts:
DailyMailDontStealMyThread · 14/02/2017 22:05

Be very careful, from my experience senior level find no difficulty in removing those not at senior level if the need for them no longer exists.

Great shags can be found old or in bars not at work.

HoHumming · 14/02/2017 22:06

I had a relationship with someone nineteen years my senior when I was in my early 30s. I didn't work with him or for him but he was pretty well known in his area. I was overawed by him I think, I was very attracted to him. I ended up falling for him though I didn't think I would ever do that. I ended up quite hurt as he was very experienced at having the type of fling we were having and to put it simply I wasn't.

JohnCheese · 14/02/2017 22:07

Snort at concentrate of testosterone!!Grin

Gosh, what a liberal company. ''Tis a wonder it hasn't imploded with all the sexual tension and post-having-it-off strife.

If he is your manager, not in a million years.

FurryLittleTwerp · 14/02/2017 22:11

If he's single at 50 & a bit of a player, then I'd expect he's a prize shit, really - the sex will be great, I don't doubt it, but how much do you need your job?

I'd still shag him mind, & sod the consequences

flatwhite45 · 14/02/2017 22:12

Go for it! And enjoy 😊

Patchouli666 · 14/02/2017 22:12

Bloody go for it! A good shag is better than a shag and you know it'll be great!

angieneri · 14/02/2017 22:12

JohnCheese he is not my manager.

Imagine (these details are not correct, but it is just to give you an idea of the situation): he is the Head of the Finance Department, I work as a developer in the IT team.

He could never be my manager. Our competences are completely different.

OP posts:
MorrisZapp · 14/02/2017 22:15

I thought it was going to be a senior citizen.

They can be quite feisty, I hear.

AnyFucker · 14/02/2017 22:16

I bet he is a crap shag

The type to lie back and let you do all the work blowjobs

Norland · 14/02/2017 22:17

You could probably figure on the HuffPost website OP.

www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/30/office-sex-stories-sleeping-with-coworkers_n_3361790.html

Looks like lots of peeps have had similar experiences to you.

BlondeBecky1983 · 14/02/2017 22:19

If he's single, go for it!

WizardOfToss · 14/02/2017 22:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JohnCheese · 14/02/2017 22:20

Still no.

But hey, I'm not 29. what do I know.

Im still wondering how your company isn't a mess.Grin

JohnCheese · 14/02/2017 22:22

Ageee with AnyFucker's last post. Bet he's all about himself. Crap shag.

NoSherryForMe · 14/02/2017 22:23

Is your name Belinda? Are you a senior vice-president, pots and pans?

boredwithabrokenfinger · 14/02/2017 22:23

Jesus, I'm 45 and even I haven't shagged someone that old!

What's the appeal? Money and power? I notice you said he's a 'C Level Executive'..... Grin

WorraLiberty · 14/02/2017 22:26

My question is: what do I do? Do I go for it? Do I play it safe and pull back?

Don't mix cock and career.

He'll be off fucking someone else after he's fucked you.

Just keep your social/sex life separate.

angieneri · 14/02/2017 22:26

bored yeah I think the power thing has its effect on me. I also find the age gap intriguing, the idea that such an experienced man could find me attractive is a turn on (I know, I know, I sound completely idiotic..).

I don't care about the money though and I don't think that sleeping with him would give me any financial benefit.

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 14/02/2017 22:28

If it's want you want then do it but be prepared for the fall out. Ignore AF she'd have you believe that all men are basically evil predators.

dowhatnow · 14/02/2017 22:31

Go for it as long as he cant make life difficult for you if you dump him. Tell him up front that you don't want a serious relationship.

How will you feel if you fall for him and he dumps you? - which is possible if the attraction is that strong. Do your paths cross much at work?

pinboard · 14/02/2017 22:36

" yeah I think the power thing has its effect on me. I also find the age gap intriguing, the idea that such an experienced man could find me attractive is a turn on (I know, I know, I sound completely idiotic..)."

OP. I was you when I was 20. He was 40+
He is now 67. His FB page is full of all the young lasses he finds 'attractive' who are at least 30 years younger.
He is not Mick Jagger. Just a sad old shagger.

Good luck. But, I wouldn't go there if I were you.

It's not good Sad

Waterfeature · 14/02/2017 22:37

What, an old git of 50 wants to shag a hot chick in her 20s? Who'd have thought it?!

I wonder who's doing whom the favour?

I hate the word "coworker" by the way .

Norland · 14/02/2017 22:41

OP, you've changed your name from Angi Neri to Angie Neri; that's better, so much more British-sounding.

If you could replace the 'z' with 's' in the right place(s) and go from coworker to colleague, you'll have gone the whole hog.

Kookypants · 14/02/2017 22:43

Don't.

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