AIBU in thinking this is not racist?

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

At a baby group, and one of the mothers starts commenting on a father who is there, mentioning how she wouldn't say no etc. Then asked what we think
One friend turned round and said no he isn't my cup of tea.
Original lady asked why
She responded she normally prefers white men, not black men.
Original lady tells her she should be disgusted in herself and having a view like that is highly racist. She then asked me do I agree if she was racist in what she said.

I told her I wouldn't view this as racist, just personal preference.
Is this actually racist? Or is original lady just being a bit over the top.

Oh FGS... of course it's not racist. I'm a black woman who has dated Black and white men. I have never found Chinese men attractive. They just don't appeal to me physically. Does that make me racist? Does the Chinese male population feel as if they're missing out as a result? No, I don't think so.

Not necessarily racist. Attraction is a fickle beast. But if it because the person doesn't like black people in general (I don't know this, of course), it could be construed as racist.

It's not racist. It's no different from saying you normally wouldn't be attracted to someone who's overweight, or someone with red hair, or someone with kids, or someone with no ambition, or someone with too much ambition etc. It's all preference.

I'm generally not attracted to Italian and Greek men. That doesn't mean that if the right one were to come along, I wouldn't be attracted to him. It's just a generalisation based on experience, and it says nothing about them as people.

Perfectly fine to have a sexual preference! In my dating days I very rarely fancied a white guy! That's just how it is! And a lot of my friends were quite open to the fact that by contrast they didn't fancy Asian/indian men.. Well good for me, less competition hey :)

But you're writing off the chance to find out about a black mans personality by saying they aren't your type. By that I guess someone wouldn't find out how lovely that person could be because the colour of their skin was unattractive

Yes, in the same way you are writing off the chance to find out about a womans personality by saying they aren't your type. You wouldn't find out how lovely that person could be because their genitals are unattractive to you.
See, exact same thing!

Not to mention the fact that you don't need to write off anyones personality, or lose the chance to find out how lovely they are. You can do all that: but still not want to have sex with them!

And yet you can't explain why it isn't?

Because it is, and you know it is.

Navy, I think you'll find it's always better to back up your point of view with an explanation

You're actually possibly more likely to find out about someone's personality because you don't want to have sex with them LOL most of my male friends are white as it turns out, most of my boyfriends/partners have been non-white... It's just how it is! You can't control sexual preferences.

boo "He was there with a child and likely to have a partner who could attend another time." I don't think the man or his partner or child we're present! If they were it would be even worse!

Having a preference for a certain race is racist, but I wouldn't condem people for it. It's a learned cultural bias, usually a result of growing up amongst predominantly white people and being exposed to media wherein most 'love interests' and people generally held up as attractive are white.

For example, it is very, very rare for an Asian man to be the romantic lead in any form of media in the UK; it's almost always a white guy and we all grow up watching movies and TV shows that present white guys with certain characteristics as attractive and desirable partners. I suspect that if the vast majority of movies/books/TV shows and magazines portrayed Asian men as desirable, more British women would grow up to be attracted to Asian men.

Anecdotally, the men I know who are attracted to east-Asian women grew up playing Japanese computer games and watching anime. The media they digested in adolescence has shaped their adult sexual preferences.

You can't really condem people for developing preferences as a result of their upbringing, but I think people should try to recognise the sometimes racially-tinged societal factors that contributed to the shaping of their preferences.

Saying a physical characteristic isn't your cup of tea isn't the same thing as writing of a whole group of people. I don't find fat people attractive and wouldn't be attracted to a fat person straight off, the fact I wouldn't want to have sex with them on sight however doesn't mean I have written of all fat people as people I don't want to know.
The fact I usually fancy all people with ginger hair on sight doesn't mean I want to be friends with every single one in the world either. And given ginger hair is something that really inceases my sexually attraction I suppose it would be quite accurate to say that generally I am more attracted to white men. Except Ore, he is the loveliest looking man on the planet.

I don't think it's racist. I probably wouldn't go out with a black man. unless Blair Underwood I wouldn't go out with someone who had a moustache either. Not because there is anything wrong with them bit just because they don't do it for me. Nothing wrong with knowing and stating what you do and don't find attractive.

Navy, she did not say "She said she likes white men not black"

Hey she was not discussing a potential partner, just whether she fancied him.

I am white. I don't find white men attractive at all. I am not racist.

Sorry but racism is far more invidious and vile than fuck preferences. For goodness sake

sweets people you don't want to know arnt people you don't want to fuck?

I know dozens of people but only fuck 1

By saying you prefer a white man over a black man you're ruling every single one of them out and I am uncomfortable with that.

No, you're not. You're saying you have a preference. I prefer dark headed men to blondes, but I've dated blondes. I still prefer men with dark hair.

No, I am saying that I do not find white men in general, sexually attractive.

"By saying you prefer a white man over a black man you're ruling every single one of them out and I am uncomfortable with that."
How does it mean that? I prefer (ridiculous example alert) vanilla ice cream to strawberry ice cream, that doesn't mean that I never choose to eat strawberry ice cream or that I don't enjoy it when I do.

Navy "But you're writing off the chance to find out about a black mans personality by saying they aren't your type."

This is not about personality! It was a discussion about sexual attraction not personality or relationships.

To no one on particular, what should be done? How do you think women should make themselves feel attracted to any men?

No I don't think that everyone in the world has an ideal type and sticks to it, but I don't think that not finding men of a certain skin color (even your own) attractive is racist.

"Those of you saying it's ok to prefer a white man to a black man does that mean if you prefer blond men that every blond man on the planet is suitable? No of course it doesn't. That would be silly. There would be certain traits in one particular blond man that you would prefer over and above another blond man.

By saying you prefer a white man over a black man you're ruling every single one of them out and I am uncomfortable with that."

That's not even logical, the converse of not finding one thing attractive isn't finding all men without that trait attractive...