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AIBU?

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Original poster

dh wants a threesome with his best friend's gf

227 replies

twoscompany · 28/02/2007 14:10

have changed my name for obvious reasons.

Me and dh have been together for 12 years, married for 8, we have a 4 year old dd. Have always had a great relationship, although I?ll admit that sexually I?m not as open-minded as some people are, but dh has always respected this.

However over the past year or so dh has been saying more and more that he would like us to have a threesome. To start with he said it jokingly, and I took it as such as he knows there?s absolutely no way I would go for it. But more recently he?s been saying more and more that he wants to have a threesome and is ignoring my attempts to laugh it off, saying that it should be his birthday present from me.

Then last night he said that I should invite a friend, who happens to be his best friend?s gf, over for the weekend, and he then said ?because she?s the one I think we should have a threesome with?.

I?ve pointed out that this isn?t going to do much good for dh?s friendship, but he said that I should be the one to ask her, that way his friend need never know. He?s also promised that he will give me the majority of attention and that he won?t actually have sex with her, but just wants her to be there.

Am I being selfish for not wanting to do this?

OP posts:
ScottishThistle · 28/02/2007 16:09

I mean being done on her, not doing it...that I find odd!

NomDePlume · 28/02/2007 16:10

maybe her dp is crap at it ?

themildmanneredjanitor · 28/02/2007 16:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FluffyMummy123 · 28/02/2007 16:12

Message withdrawn

ScottishThistle · 28/02/2007 16:13

Mmmm, helps if you read what people write!

No, she says she has never even got as far as to find out if she'd enjoy it...can't stand it, even talking about it!

themildmanneredjanitor · 28/02/2007 16:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nailpolish · 28/02/2007 16:18

cant be arsed to read thread

just wnat to say 3 somes are a shit idea

he will tell ALL his friends

and you will hate the other girl for ever, cos she had better tits than you

FluffyMummy123 · 28/02/2007 16:18

Message withdrawn

nailpolish · 28/02/2007 16:19

a3some would NOT solve marriage or sex life prob

more make it worse!

lulumama · 28/02/2007 16:20

i agree with cod...therapy...to stop him being a selfish prick, to build your self esteem and to address your issues re sex.....

harpsichordcarrier · 28/02/2007 16:21

hey
I AGREE WITH COD
It's been ages since I wrote that
this is just another way of saying "I want to sleep with someone else" imo.
it's cheap and nasty, not "adventurous".
and really, what does it say about the way he thinks about women, that he just wants to get this woman into bed for.... what exactly? what will she get out of it? zero.
what will you get out of it? only pain and misery.
god, and we call this sexual liberation

nailpolish · 28/02/2007 16:21

AND he will get a taste for it

it wont be a one off

FluffyMummy123 · 28/02/2007 16:23

Message withdrawn

expatinscotland · 28/02/2007 16:24

It's a newer, softer cod.

NomDePlume · 28/02/2007 16:25
zippitippitoes · 28/02/2007 16:25

yes i echo all those posts

i think there is a cultural thing going on that makes it hard for people to say no

i think accepting that no t everyone has the inclination to walk that kind oif walk doesn't make them odd is important

I doubt somehow he is going to want rcounselling and tbh if i was the op i'm not sure i would

you could look at a book there was one called hot sex or something which was quite good without being frightening

FluffyMummy123 · 28/02/2007 16:27

Message withdrawn

UnquietDad · 28/02/2007 16:28

I'll agree with you, zippi, if you agree that it's not just big nasty MEN who are to blame for this culture!

zippitippitoes · 28/02/2007 16:30

I think blame is perhaps not the right word nbut if anything i think it's women who are perpetuating this one..

FluffyMummy123 · 28/02/2007 16:31

Message withdrawn

UnquietDad · 28/02/2007 16:32

and it's a rare man who, offered a dirty threesome, will have the self-will to say "No, darling, I think that's an unhealthy route for our relationship to explore"!

FluffyMummy123 · 28/02/2007 16:34

Message withdrawn

zippitippitoes · 28/02/2007 16:37

i think this is the book I meant

here

VeniVidiVickiQV · 28/02/2007 16:37

UD - I think you are giving more away here about yourself, than you are a man's POV.

FWIW i agree with cod, particularly re counselling etc.

I am also pmsl at Teecee's mention of Expat and her eagerness to chat about bj's at every opportunity

Also Teecee you said "let him have sex with the lights on and the curtains open". With who exactly?

Seriously though, I'm not sure that "letting him" do anything is the right approach.

zippitippitoes · 28/02/2007 16:37

of course he might be a bit disappointed that his fantasy has been reduced to a pocket handbook but heyho that's life as he is going to know it!