dh wants a threesome with his best friend's gf

[twoscompany]

have changed my name for obvious reasons.

Me and dh have been together for 12 years, married for 8, we have a 4 year old dd. Have always had a great relationship, although I?ll admit that sexually I?m not as open-minded as some people are, but dh has always respected this.

However over the past year or so dh has been saying more and more that he would like us to have a threesome. To start with he said it jokingly, and I took it as such as he knows there?s absolutely no way I would go for it. But more recently he?s been saying more and more that he wants to have a threesome and is ignoring my attempts to laugh it off, saying that it should be his birthday present from me.

Then last night he said that I should invite a friend, who happens to be his best friend?s gf, over for the weekend, and he then said ?because she?s the one I think we should have a threesome with?.

I?ve pointed out that this isn?t going to do much good for dh?s friendship, but he said that I should be the one to ask her, that way his friend need never know. He?s also promised that he will give me the majority of attention and that he won?t actually have sex with her, but just wants her to be there.

Am I being selfish for not wanting to do this?

nomdeplume, I think I'll nominate that for Quote of the week

ST, for what it is worth I have had numerous 3-somes, in varying combinations. Not sure what that has to do with twoscompany's problem though, as I was happy to be involved in all of them, we were all consenting parties. Twoscompany has made it clear that the idea is not top of her sexual wishlist

Sorry to ruin the fun, got to go!

By the way I don't snog my mates in the pub, well haven't done for at least 10yrs anyway!

By twoscompany on Wed 28-Feb-07 15:31:28
sorry, I realize that thread was inappropriately placed, but as I said before I am sexually quite unadventurous, in so far as that I am actually not adventurous at all, am not comfortable with the notion of oral or sex toys so I do know I'm not as open-minded as most which is why I do sometimes wonder whether I'm being unreasonable and whether more people would actually allow this than would let on.

It would seem not though, so I am happy to tell him no. not sure I'll ever be able to look at his friend's gf in the same way again though.

so, it sounds like, if we would have all said, 'yes, it is totally reasonable, for your DH to want to get it on with another woman, and you, even though you don;t want to...we all do it !' , you would have gone along with it,

do what is right for you and your DH...what we all do /don;t do , is not the defining factor here

TBH, if you are not even comfortable with oral sex, i am not sure why your DH thought a threesome would be a good idea.....unless, he just wants to shag this other woman

as i posted earlier , you need to decide where this relationship is going and if it can continue

rofl at freudian "crawl into a hole."

yes to return to the op

you don't want it you do want some idea as to whether threesomes like this are "normal"

I would feel pretty confident in saying no in your situation most people would say no to the idea

I just want to reiterate, I don't think he necessarily wants to shag this other woman. It doesn't work like that. He's just projecting his fantasy on to the nearest fanciable person.

lol @ piss weasel

if that was the case, would he not then be suggesting a threesome with anyone , ie through a swingers site or something, rather than this specific girl, and the OP thinks her DH will just try it on with her anyway

I think I'd try to bring a couple of sex toys into the bedroom, you may even enjoy it!

'I lived in a small Welsh market town, expat. '

We get to the heart of the matter! Wales! That explains everything .

I, too, nominate NDP for quote of the week!!

Fine, but if he doe not want to have sex with the woman, why does he want her in the room ? To perform sexual acts on his DW ? For the OP to perform sex acts on her ? I hardly think that a HETEROSEXUAL woman who is 'unadventurous' (in her own words) is going to be up for that sort of caper.

expat

And the OP mentioned that he told her he was going to pay her, the OP, 'the majority of hte attention'.

How kind of him.

I'm just waiting for cod to show up and write:

fraeks.

get you tmmj....

Surely there is only one thing to consider..

2 bricks or you knee.....

ROFL heifer..you tell him !!

I have a friend who can't stand the thought of oral sex & it's not lack of confidence!

Is their a name for oral sex phobia?

I think there is quite a wide spread ov views on this

so somebody's not to be missed is someone else's i'd rather eat sick

Not selfish at all two's

It's just a wank fantasy. Good to think about but...do you really really want to live it. If the answer is no then say 'NO@ and why.

DH and I (16 yrs together, 12 married 3.7 DS) have an adventrous sex life and some fantasies (yep inc threesomes) but hell that's where they stay, in fantasy. Great to talk about in our bedroom but NEVER taken further. We could but....hell, what's the point? Fantasies are not icky and awkward and emotionally uncomfortable.

Explain to him why you are not prepared to do it. Stress that it's a really nice fantasy and yep, you get kicks out of it but that's where you want it to stay. Hopefully he'll be grown up and man enough to understand.

If not just explain how 'socially' uncomfortable it would be (hell what do you say after? 'Nice having you' or 'Do call again') or just tell him to grow the feck up.

Blokes ...Honestly