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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

dh wants a threesome with his best friend's gf

227 replies

twoscompany · 28/02/2007 14:10

have changed my name for obvious reasons.

Me and dh have been together for 12 years, married for 8, we have a 4 year old dd. Have always had a great relationship, although I?ll admit that sexually I?m not as open-minded as some people are, but dh has always respected this.

However over the past year or so dh has been saying more and more that he would like us to have a threesome. To start with he said it jokingly, and I took it as such as he knows there?s absolutely no way I would go for it. But more recently he?s been saying more and more that he wants to have a threesome and is ignoring my attempts to laugh it off, saying that it should be his birthday present from me.

Then last night he said that I should invite a friend, who happens to be his best friend?s gf, over for the weekend, and he then said ?because she?s the one I think we should have a threesome with?.

I?ve pointed out that this isn?t going to do much good for dh?s friendship, but he said that I should be the one to ask her, that way his friend need never know. He?s also promised that he will give me the majority of attention and that he won?t actually have sex with her, but just wants her to be there.

Am I being selfish for not wanting to do this?

OP posts:
Pann · 28/02/2007 15:37

expat. wind-up from me. sorry.

UnquietDad · 28/02/2007 15:37

take your point, expat, but i bet fewer men refuse their DWs' dirtiest fantasies than vice-versa... many blokes would actively love their wives/girlfriends to "say what they want"!

expatinscotland · 28/02/2007 15:37

My best friend tried hte 'you try taking it up the bum then' and the guy said, 'i already have'.

LOL!

He'd had two long-term relationships with other men in the past.

So I never used that one after her experience!

She said she wanted to crawl in a hole.

ScottishThistle · 28/02/2007 15:38

What men need to learn is that most Women are happy enough to snog their best friends in the pub for a laugh but that's a million miles off having a threesome!

zippitippitoes · 28/02/2007 15:38

I thought men had this fantasy because it's a cliche and they are so unimaginative a bit like the red nylon lace underwear one

expatinscotland · 28/02/2007 15:38

So most guys would want to watch their best pal get it on with their wife, UD?

Heeheehee.

UnquietDad · 28/02/2007 15:39

I bet some would trade like-for-like!

expatinscotland · 28/02/2007 15:39

'What men need to learn is that most Women are happy enough to snog their best friends in the pub for a laugh '

Speak for yourself, ST

I'd rather give a bj anyday over snogging a chick.

Pann · 28/02/2007 15:40

zippi!!!!

ok. I'll give up.

NomDePlume · 28/02/2007 15:40

Am I being overly naive here in thinking that if you don't want to shag your DH's best mate's girlfriend, you should just say "no" ?

Assuming that if he has said that he doesn't want to knob her, then he expects you and her to get it on. A bit presumptuous of him, no ?

Cloudhopper · 28/02/2007 15:40

The thing I find most implausible about all of this is that his bf's gf would even entertain the idea. Ha ha ha.

I am trying to picture one of dh's friends approaching me (either them OR their wife) to suggest this. I can tell you what though, they would only do it once.

Although some men seem to make it a bit of a policy to try it on with their friend's girlfriends, or their girlfriend's friends. What a joke. Get over yourselves.

UnquietDad · 28/02/2007 15:40

"most Women are happy enough to snog their best friends in the pub for a laugh"

I obviously go to the wrong pubs! Or go with the wrong women...

themildmanneredjanitor · 28/02/2007 15:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pann · 28/02/2007 15:42

oh janitor, there's time yet.

zippitippitoes · 28/02/2007 15:42

sorry pann

i'm waiting for the old bag saggy prune wrinkles hag stuff which is why i can't keep away

ScottishThistle · 28/02/2007 15:43

Oh well maybe it's just me & my large circle of very close friends!

Cloudhopper · 28/02/2007 15:43

To be fair on ScottishThistle, I think there are a lot of younger women who might be prepared to go along with the whole lesbian thing just to titillate men. At least before they grow up a bit.

Not that I would ever do anything like that myself

themildmanneredjanitor · 28/02/2007 15:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TeeCee · 28/02/2007 15:44

Oh my God, Expat will talk about her giving a blowjob and the joys of oral pleaseure at the drop of a hat!

In fact twoscompany maybe you caould use Expats obbsession with blowjobs (or of talking about it at least) to your advantage here????

Either that or let him have sex with lights on in the front room with curtains open at least!

I reckon my idea of the blow up doll is the best so far though.

themildmanneredjanitor · 28/02/2007 15:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UnquietDad · 28/02/2007 15:44

Now picturing ScottishThistle and very large circle of friends.... at closing time....

Pann · 28/02/2007 15:44

Janitor - that is SUCH a hot lezzie look!

wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 28/02/2007 15:45

my dh has joked about having a threesome, but I bet if I actually arranged it he'd run a mile.

themildmanneredjanitor · 28/02/2007 15:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UnquietDad · 28/02/2007 15:45

I bet he wouldn't!