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AIBU?

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Original poster

dh wants a threesome with his best friend's gf

227 replies

twoscompany · 28/02/2007 14:10

have changed my name for obvious reasons.

Me and dh have been together for 12 years, married for 8, we have a 4 year old dd. Have always had a great relationship, although I?ll admit that sexually I?m not as open-minded as some people are, but dh has always respected this.

However over the past year or so dh has been saying more and more that he would like us to have a threesome. To start with he said it jokingly, and I took it as such as he knows there?s absolutely no way I would go for it. But more recently he?s been saying more and more that he wants to have a threesome and is ignoring my attempts to laugh it off, saying that it should be his birthday present from me.

Then last night he said that I should invite a friend, who happens to be his best friend?s gf, over for the weekend, and he then said ?because she?s the one I think we should have a threesome with?.

I?ve pointed out that this isn?t going to do much good for dh?s friendship, but he said that I should be the one to ask her, that way his friend need never know. He?s also promised that he will give me the majority of attention and that he won?t actually have sex with her, but just wants her to be there.

Am I being selfish for not wanting to do this?

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 28/02/2007 14:55

would this other woman even be interested..in general men rather overestimate their desirability

and what role are you supposed to play..clearly not one you are keen to try

FoghornLeghorn · 28/02/2007 14:55

ROFL @ Piss Weasle

TeeCee · 28/02/2007 15:02

How can I take this serioously when you ask 'am I being unresonable'. Oh yeah, you're totally out of order for not wanting your DH to shag soempne else, with you in the room, oh but that's right he;ll shag you and she can watch, oh lucky her, and you have to be the one to ask. Well what are you waiting for? How selfish of you to bot have done this samll act of kindness for him!

Jesus!

This thread is in the Am I being Unresonable thread and everything isn't it.

It's either fake or you're mad.

Pann · 28/02/2007 15:08

"in general men rather overestimate their desirability ..."

zippi!

yes TC..not sure how to play such a thread.

  1. are you bonkers?
  2. Are you kitty
  3. "Go on! You know you want to and you are just teasing us all"
  4. Sympathise with dealing with a wanker in her life.

leaning toward 4., but the rest are still looking attractive!

Pimmpom · 28/02/2007 15:10

Yes, I have to agree. Maybe it would have been better to put it into Relationships.

Have Am I being unreasonable is just silly because you must know you are not!

TeeCee · 28/02/2007 15:11

If she's only going to watch get a blow up doll, stick her on a charit at the foot of the bed, put a wig on her and dress in something this girl would wear and spray her brand of perfume around the room, dim the lights, bob your uncle and Fanny's your blow up doll!

ScottishThistle · 28/02/2007 15:12

Where did Kittylette go???

Oh she must be somewhere else discussing 3somes with her Boyfriends mates girlfriend!!! (rolls eyes)

zippitippitoes · 28/02/2007 15:13

I put the scenario to dp who ratyher predictably said ooh when?

Pimmpom · 28/02/2007 15:13

Euuuww just reminded me of the programme last week on men and their blow up dolls!

Just caught it when changing channels

zippitippitoes · 28/02/2007 15:16

men do think they are irresistible don't they

as do cop tv writers

PetitFilou1 · 28/02/2007 15:18

Oh.My.God. Whoever said 'this would be a dealbreaker for me' I'm with them.
My friend has just got into Ann Summers uniforms and dirty texts with her dh and it has spiced things up no end (apparently!) without involving anyone else. No need for your dh to go this far. I would be so hurt if my dh suggested this.

zippitippitoes · 28/02/2007 15:20

all the mners i can think of who would really relish this seem to have fallen by the mn wayside

Pann · 28/02/2007 15:21

serious zippi??

no. don't think we do!

Suspect a lot know how unattractive they are and rely on bravado to deal with the insecurity not looking like Brad or Clive or Kevin(?) can bring. Maybe some men belive their own mother telling them they are the most handsome man in the whole wide world!!

I think I've got a pretty good notion of my 'desirability' (though buddies tell me this is understated!) and most/alot of men do, I think.

are you being serious??

Iklboo · 28/02/2007 15:22

Tell him "why not a foursome then?". I'll do lots of lezza stuff (which you're obviously after me doing) if you agree to have lots of anal & oral sex with your best mate while us girls watch YOU"

ThisFrogIsGonnaWhoopYouAss · 28/02/2007 15:24
Hmm
zippitippitoes · 28/02/2007 15:26

ok some men do

UnquietDad · 28/02/2007 15:27

iklboo - but what if his eyes light up and he says yes, deal??

expatinscotland · 28/02/2007 15:29

It won't, UD, because she already partially tried that with him by asking if his mate could be there.

FWIW, that's not a good strategy.

How about just telling him 'no fucking way. lay off with that shit'?

and if he continues, tell his mate, after packing his bags and telling him to take a few days out to think about what a twat he's being over this.

Original poster
twoscompany · 28/02/2007 15:31

sorry, I realize that thread was inappropriately placed, but as I said before I am sexually quite unadventurous, in so far as that I am actually not adventurous at all, am not comfortable with the notion of oral or sex toys so I do know I'm not as open-minded as most which is why I do sometimes wonder whether I'm being unreasonable and whether more people would actually allow this than would let on.

It would seem not though, so I am happy to tell him no. not sure I'll ever be able to look at his friend's gf in the same way again though.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 28/02/2007 15:32

He knew what you were like when he married you.

And he still went and made promises. As a consenting adult.

Pann · 28/02/2007 15:33

yes,yes,yes expat..calm down calm down!

UnquietDad · 28/02/2007 15:33

I think it's fair to say that it is most - if not all - straight men's biggest sexual fantasy. For some reason we are conditioned to believe that all straight women have a bit of "bi-try" in them.

It doesn't help, of course, that there are SOME women who are prepared to play up to/ play along with the stereotype..... which leads some blokes to feel they are missing out, and that their wives ought to be a bit more "dirty".

[Raise shield intensity to maximum, Mr Scott]

expatinscotland · 28/02/2007 15:35

Calm down?

He's been rabbiting on about this for a year.

Well, he wouldn't have with me.

I have a lot of fantasies. That I'm mature enough to know need to be kept to myself because my husband has feelings, too, and as part of our partnership, I respect that.

Pann · 28/02/2007 15:36
expatinscotland · 28/02/2007 15:36

'For some reason we are conditioned to believe that all straight women have a bit of "bi-try" in them. '

Where's the link to the porn thread?

I think this one, along with the all woman want anal sex belief, is a direct result of the proliferation of porn in our society.