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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be a bit hurt by this?

282 replies

RealhousewifeofEngland · 13/02/2017 09:46

It's a milestone birthday for me later this week. My marriage is in difficulty and as a consequence my birthday celebration this weekend didn't take place. I took my kids to my mums on Sunday. She is well aware of the situation. Not one mention was made of my birthday. When I left she gave me a present and said she was going to write out the card from my (fully grown adult) sibling as she hadn't done it. I told her not to bother as it was hardly a card from my sister if my mum had written it out.

So I left without so much as a have a nice birthday. And I feel quite hurt and a bit upset. My mum knows that I will spend the actual day alone with no celebration and no card from my kids (OH won't bother doing anything since we are "fighting"). Each year on my grown up sisters birthday my mum pays to take us out for lunch and does a cake at home. My sister still lives with my mum. We do the same for my mums birthday with my sister and I splitting the bill for lunch.

I didn't expect my mum to take me out ... but I did kind of hope that she might have got in a cake for me. Just a supermarket job nothing fancy. Just so that my birthday would be marked in some way at least. I wont see her now for weeks and I know the present she has got me is nothing special. Not that she should have but just in case I get responses about how she probably got me a wonderful gift or has a surprise for me. Going by past years I will get a text on the morning of my birthday and that's all.

AIBU?

Also my sister has been mentioning my mums milestone birthday later this year and how we should do something "big". I don't feel very inclined right now.

OP posts:
RealhousewifeofEngland · 17/02/2017 23:20

Thanks again everyone!
My best friend has completely spoiled me tonight. Put my DH totally to shame, and she didn't even know about my shit birthday so it wasn't out of pity. Feeling much happier 😄

OP posts:
Deejoda · 18/02/2017 00:16

Yay OP! Happy birthday!
Give it a few weeks then talk to your mum about how you felt. You deserve better than your H is treating you too...he needs to apologise for being so unnecessarily hurtful (making your big 4.0 a downer).

Mummyoflittledragon · 18/02/2017 00:52

Well that's fab Smile

Summerof85 · 18/02/2017 07:56

That's lovely you had a great time with your friend x

nozbottheblue · 18/02/2017 19:54

You can't really change how your mother and sister regard you, OP, but you can do something about the situation with your DP. It sounds as if he is punishing you for not doing as he thought you should in some way, by cancelling your meal and not getting you the planned present (which he then told you about! wtf?!) This does not sound like a loving relationship. Will he talk about the issues that brought this about, do you think? With a counsellor, perhaps? I don't think you can carry on with this situation, do you?

RedheadinCamelFlarge · 18/02/2017 23:09

I'm glad you have good friends around you, OP. Now's the time to tell them about your emotionally abusive husband, and get their support to get out. Another 40 years of his shite? No way!

GloGirl · 18/02/2017 23:46

A saying I've heard before is "You get the family you were born with, but the friends you deserve."

I'm so glad your best friend pulled out the stops for you Flowers

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