Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be a bit hurt by this?

282 replies

RealhousewifeofEngland · 13/02/2017 09:46

It's a milestone birthday for me later this week. My marriage is in difficulty and as a consequence my birthday celebration this weekend didn't take place. I took my kids to my mums on Sunday. She is well aware of the situation. Not one mention was made of my birthday. When I left she gave me a present and said she was going to write out the card from my (fully grown adult) sibling as she hadn't done it. I told her not to bother as it was hardly a card from my sister if my mum had written it out.

So I left without so much as a have a nice birthday. And I feel quite hurt and a bit upset. My mum knows that I will spend the actual day alone with no celebration and no card from my kids (OH won't bother doing anything since we are "fighting"). Each year on my grown up sisters birthday my mum pays to take us out for lunch and does a cake at home. My sister still lives with my mum. We do the same for my mums birthday with my sister and I splitting the bill for lunch.

I didn't expect my mum to take me out ... but I did kind of hope that she might have got in a cake for me. Just a supermarket job nothing fancy. Just so that my birthday would be marked in some way at least. I wont see her now for weeks and I know the present she has got me is nothing special. Not that she should have but just in case I get responses about how she probably got me a wonderful gift or has a surprise for me. Going by past years I will get a text on the morning of my birthday and that's all.

AIBU?

Also my sister has been mentioning my mums milestone birthday later this year and how we should do something "big". I don't feel very inclined right now.

OP posts:
user1471449434 · 15/02/2017 09:08

Happy birthday!!!CakeWineFlowersGin

teawamutu · 15/02/2017 09:09

Happy 🎂! Indulge yourself today.

And I agree, celebrate your family birthdays in the way they chose to mark yours...

ProjectGainsborough · 15/02/2017 09:11

Happy birthday realhousewife 🎉🎉🎉

And yy to texting sister to say you'll celebrate your mum's birthday in the same way they celebrated yours!

Pacha11 · 15/02/2017 09:16

YANBU for feeling hurt - I totally understand.
Just get a cake and celebrate with your kids on the day. Nothing is stopping you to do this. I have organised my whole b'day party myself both when single and not and totally enjoyed it together with all the guests I invited.
Take your destiny in your own hands! ;)

hungryhippo90 · 15/02/2017 09:19

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!CakeCakeWineGin💄👠👑👛👜💐🍰🎂🍧🍫🍦🍭🍷🍸🍹🍺🎹🎬🎪🎊🛍🎈🎀🎁🎁🎊🎁
Xxx

Pacha11 · 15/02/2017 09:23

I organised a huge party for a milestone birthday for myself and it was a blast. I did it myself because I realised in life that if you wait for someone else to do things for you, this may or may not happen, so for important stuff like this, I often take things into my own hands.
Generally, life has taught me that having big expectations is a recipe for big disappointments so I try to counter that whenever possible with lower expectations and doing stuff for myself.

Try to concentrate on the positives - you got a gift from your mum, that's great! You will get a call from her on the day - super. I only get a call from my parents on the day and that's it but honestly I don't expect much more. These are the circumstances and I have accepted them.

Ineedacupofteadesperately · 15/02/2017 09:24

Happy Birthday! Do something lovely for yourself today.

It sounds like your Mum has always treated your sister better than you (is this a general thing or is it just birthdays?). I don't see why, given this is the case, you should put yourself out for their birthdays. I'd definitely send the text. If they really have done nothing for your milestone birthday don't make yourself feel worse by going out of your way to be nice on your Mum's. I'd be doing something else (nice, for yourself) that day.

diddl · 15/02/2017 09:28

Happy Birthday, OpCakeFlowers

I'm not bothered about gifts/cards, but I do expect a "happy birthday" from the kids & OH, cup of tea in bed & that if I want to go out for a meal it will happen!

GloGirl · 15/02/2017 09:32

Happy Birthday!! Take the kids out shopping with you to a naice supermarket, and ask your 3yo to pick and card and a cake, buy some candles. Buy them a magazine and a food treat.

Come back and have a nice birthday dinner with your children and let them try and eat the candles before you blow them out xxx

Areasonablegal · 15/02/2017 09:32

Yanbu. Miserable sods (your oh and family not you)

My family are the same so i understand.

Do you have a friend you could do something with on the day? Could you leave the lo/s with a friend or your husband one day so you can go off and do something nice for yourself? - getting hair or nails done if thats what you like or going for a massage etc..?

Dobinette · 15/02/2017 09:34

X Happy Birthday x

diddl · 15/02/2017 09:35

Oops-made that too much about me & forgot to say hope you manage to do something lovely with your kids.

I can see why you aren't bothered about your mum's bday.

I know that you don't give to recieve & all that, but have your bday's always been markedly different to your sister's?

What was it like when you were kids for example?

Do what you want to do (as they both obviously do)-not what you think that you should.

Magpie18 · 15/02/2017 09:36

Happy birthday from me too! Hope you have a lovely day - sorry your "family" let you down - hopefully your friends will make up for it. Wine Wine & more Wine

Henriefta007 · 15/02/2017 09:36

Happy birthday Flowers

TempusEedjit · 15/02/2017 09:38

Happy birthday OP Cake

Fairybella · 15/02/2017 09:39

Haven't read full thread happy birthday!
Do something great with your babies and have a great time!

Missrubyring · 15/02/2017 09:41

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Flowers Flowers Cake Cake and a Brew for this morning and a Wine for tonight!!! Grin

WilburIsSomePig · 15/02/2017 09:42

Happy Birthday Real, I hope you have a really lovely day. Cake

Birdleaf · 15/02/2017 09:43

Happy birthday OP!

ZuzuMyLittleGingersnap · 15/02/2017 09:44

Sending you "virtual" balloons to enjoy on your birthday!

To be a bit hurt by this?
TeenageCentaurMortificado · 15/02/2017 09:44

Joining in to say HAPPY BIRTHDAU Cake

TattiePants · 15/02/2017 09:45

Happy Birthday and really hope your family have surprised you this morning Cake

incogKNEEto · 15/02/2017 09:46

Happy birthday realhousewife CakeWine

ElderDruid · 15/02/2017 09:48

I've had milestone birthdays come & go without texts from my parents, they 'forgot' apparently.
Do you have friends you could organise something with? Happy Birthday for today, hope you have the best time possible.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 15/02/2017 09:49

Star Happy birthday OP Star Wine (not surprised you felt hurt especially with the way things are at home).

Also good wishes for Crispbutty whose birthday it is too. Flowers