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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I don't have an eating disorder?

332 replies

NotAlwaysHungry · 12/02/2017 22:51

I make myself sick about 2-3 times a week. I know it's not the greatest habit and is no doubt very unhealthy but I only do it when I've eaten too much junk. My weight is fine and I'm otherwise very healthy.

My sister recently found out about it (long story!) and she was horrified. She now has it in her head that I have some sort of eating disorder and will die at any minute.

She told me I need to see a doctor but I've been doing this for nearly eight years now and considering I'm still healthy then I'm hardly going to suddenly drop down dead because of making myself sick a few times a week.

OP posts:
Robinkitty · 13/02/2017 16:27

It's a lot harder to have bulimia once you have children, not being able to leave the kids whilst you go make yourself sick and issues with pelvic floor. Best to try and get some help now and get it sorted out. I really wish I'd got help sooner and think someone who takes that step is incredibly brave.

FurryLittleTwerp · 13/02/2017 16:28

no need to feel ashamed, really Smile

well done on telling your DP & good luck with the GP appt

You are a little slim I think at 5'5" & 51 kg

I'm 5'4" & 56kg & a size 10 if that's gives some perspective

Ginkypig · 13/02/2017 16:39

You know not the fact you have stayed the same weight for years might be part of the reason it has been easy (wrong word) for you to convince yourself that everything was ok.

People think that an eating disorder means a skeletal looking person who starves themselves or binges on packets of cakes then vomits but those are just one represention of things the truth is anyone can become ill and they can look and behave just like everyone else because they are human just like the rest of us!

It's not dissimilar to how when people think of a drug addict they think of a dirty quite possibly criminal person who you want to avoid but you would never think of a heroin addict as a person in a high powered job wearing a fancy suit.

What I mean is just because you have an illness does not take away all the other parts to you that make you, you!
You wouldn't think less of somone because they needed a walking stick or needed to take medication because they had mental health issues so why would you think having treatment for an eating disorder would be shameful?

Your being very brave to face and tackle this.

deeedeee · 13/02/2017 16:40

Much love and strength and respect and solidarity to you notalwayshungry.

Well done for telling your DP and planning to see GP.

x

AVirginLitTheCandle · 13/02/2017 16:58

Speaking as someone whose sister used to suffer from bulimia, I don't think the OP's attitude is particularly odd tbh. My sister said some things that were pretty Hmm when she was at her worst. She would talk about making herself throw up as if it was the most normal thing in the world. She just genuinely didn't see anything wrong with it.

AVirginLitTheCandle · 13/02/2017 17:02

I'm not sure why some people have been so callous with the OP either. It sounds to me like what her sister said has scared her so she posted to try and get some different perspectives.

It's not like the OP has ignored people's advice on here. She has made an appointment with her GP and accepts what she does is not normal. She has taken peoples perspectives on board.

SomethingBorrowed · 13/02/2017 17:15

I used to do that and it turned into bulimia. A part of me is impressed that you only do it 2-3 times a week.

One remark though, make sure you take good care of your teeth. I am currently spending thousands and thousands to fix mine as a result of years of daily vomiting.

KanyeWesticle · 13/02/2017 17:31

Well done OP. You have listened to the opinions of other musnetters on here (even some blunt/rude ones), reflected, and taken a huge step. Recognizing you don't have control to stop yourself is a really huge deal.

You are incredibly brave to tell your partner and to be getting professional help.

Waffles80 · 13/02/2017 17:36

If people are going to say nasty, unsupportive things, they should fuck the fuck off.

OP - I was exactly the same as you. Purged two or three times a week, felt it was 'normal'. I also restricted food considerably.

It took quite a while for me to realise quite how serious my situation was, and like you, I felt so ashamed.

It was about control, but it was also about having a hugely skewed understanding of my shape and size. Mainly it was about me being really sad and lonely (not saying this is you but maybe you've some other underlying concerns).

I had a brilliant counsellor, and some brilliant friends. I am very well now. I am determined that my daughters will have absolutely happy and healthy relationships with food, and a happy and healthy mother.

Very well done for taking the steps you've taken. Wishing you well. I imagine there'll be good boards on here for excellent support, and you've had such good advice here despite one or two vicious shitbags.

You've nothing to be ashamed about.

dailymaillazyjournos · 13/02/2017 17:44

I'm an intelligent 29 year old woman who everyone thinks is so well put together and self assured. I'm the person who everyone comes to for advice but they won't be able to if everyone finds out what I've been doing.

You are still an intelligent woman who is self assured and well put together and are just as able to give advice. You just happen to have an eating disorder. You are really really brave in telling your partner and in starting this thread. Please try very hard to push away any feelings of shame because you truly have nothing to be ashamed of. So many women have disordered eating (ex anorexic here) but that does not make them inferior to anyone else. It's something you would benefit from getting as much support as you can for and I hope you will find that people are supportive.

Deadsouls · 13/02/2017 17:52

I've read maybe the first 4-5 pages. I didn't interpret the comments as 'nasty' or 'callous'. Maybe blunt. But I do believe it was more out of people concerned about the OP and trying to get through to them that this behaviour was a cause for concern.

Anyway OP did you make the GP appointment. Hopefully you'll be offered a course of counselling.

SecondsLeft · 13/02/2017 18:08

You should get your GP to take a blood test fairly regularly, and get some advice about the effect on your health. Then its up to you whether you want to try to change the habit. I can recommend some self-help resources here www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/minipax.cfm?mini_ID=19 . Hope the appointment goes well.

deeedeee · 13/02/2017 18:25

In my experience Eating Disorders are about controlling negative emotions.

x

HughJarss · 13/02/2017 19:53

OP you've taken a huge step today. Huge. Really well done. Also telling your DP is a big deal. I want to re-iterate that this is a mental illness and it deserves no more stigma than any other illness.
You have an illness beyond your control and there should be no shame in that.

Some comments have been unnecessarily blunt, but then, thinking about it... if a poster had said they'd had a lump in their boob for years and not taken action there would be a few stern words too, I'd imagine. That's Mumsnet for you, I guess. You'll always get a spectrum of responses.

I hope you can filter out any posts that have upset you and continue to be as brave as you've been in the past couple of days. I take my hat off to you for taking such positive action. Flowers

Original poster
NotAlwaysHungry · 13/02/2017 20:04

Just want to say thank you for your kindness Flowers

I still feel shit because I made DP cry this morning Sad

OP posts:
MontyPythonsFlyingFuck · 13/02/2017 20:29

OP, you're very brave to face up to it like this - telling your partner and preparing to tell the GP. One piece of advice, which I think a PP mentioned in passing: write down what you want to tell the GP. Then, if you feel like you can't get the words out, or your nerve starts to fail, you can just hand him/her the piece of paper. Best of luck. There are a lot of us on here rooting for you.

Iamastonished · 13/02/2017 20:33

Please keep the GP appointment. Your BMI is 18.7 which is at the lowest end of normal. I don't need to say anything else really because it would repeat what everyone else has said. Good luck and well done for facing up to it.

Waffles80 · 13/02/2017 20:34

You didn't make DP cry, he cried because, presumably, he cares very much for you and feels very sad for you.

He might, as an aside, benefit from reading a little about the nature of eating disorders.

Original poster
NotAlwaysHungry · 13/02/2017 20:37

Well I have no choice but to keep my appointment now I've told DP about it all. He would never forgive me otherwise Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
NotAlwaysHungry · 13/02/2017 20:39

Just thought I'd make it clear that I have no children so no worries of my fucked up habits being passed on right now.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotAlwaysHungry · 13/02/2017 20:44

I wasn't looking for attention or sympathy when I asked if I would be weighed btw. I was asking because I've always had a fear of being weighed in front of other people and other people knowing how much I weigh. I've had that fear ever since I was a child so it is unconnected to the fact that I make myself sick a few times a week.

OP posts:
AyeAmarok · 13/02/2017 20:46

It's probably not unconnected though OP, I'd suggest it's all part of the same issue.

MeTooED · 13/02/2017 20:49

Well done OP.
This thread has terrified me. I should start my own.

yellowfrog · 13/02/2017 21:03

Well done for facing up to this and making that GP appointment! Recognising you have a problem is a really really big step toward fixing that problem, so good on you!

Uiscebeatha85 · 13/02/2017 21:07

Good luck OP. You've been very brave, reading all these replies must have been really hard.

I made myself sick too and wondered why everyone didn't do it as it was the best diet ever. Amy Winehouse thought the same, remember seeing it in her documentary Sad You will come through this though and with time will look back and realise how abnormal a behaviour it is. Flowers