To think I don't have an eating disorder?

[NotAlwaysHungry]

I make myself sick about 2-3 times a week. I know it's not the greatest habit and is no doubt very unhealthy but I only do it when I've eaten too much junk. My weight is fine and I'm otherwise very healthy.

My sister recently found out about it (long story!) and she was horrified. She now has it in her head that I have some sort of eating disorder and will die at any minute.

She told me I need to see a doctor but I've been doing this for nearly eight years now and considering I'm still healthy then I'm hardly going to suddenly drop down dead because of making myself sick a few times a week.

The biggest contributory factor in Amy Winehouse's death was not alcohol. It was the damage to her heart due to years of bulimia.

Okay so it's not normal.

I'm completely crazy.

There, happy?

Anyway people have given me advice. They have told me I am sick.

Fontella

She can. I did. Lots of people do. It's a destructive coping mechanism and by the time people seek help they are often so used to their behaviours that they genuinely don't see them as being 'that bad'. Why is that so hard to understand?

Ok OP - let's put it this way. Your 'normal for me' is not healthy, short or long term, physically or mentally. You have done a great job of normalising this behaviour in your head, because that's how people (me included) justify having an eating disorder.

I'm super sensitive on this whole topic and I don't see any ridicule here. Just concern, support and maybe some despair that you are being defensive - which is normal as acceptance doesn't happen overnight.

Because I think you are still clearly in denial.

I'm just going to go in there and tell him what I've been doing and see what he says.

OP good luck with GP. You are incredibly brave to tell your partner and to be getting professional help. I came on here to say that sadly, after 25 years of excellent oral health, my bulimic habits did finally catch up with me and my teeth are in an appalling state (despite having finished the binge/purge cycle years ago). I also have osteopenia, bordering on osteoporosis, incredibly young to have as brittle bones as I do. See if you can be referred for a DEXA bone density scan and the advice might be to start taking lots of vitamin D. Good luck with next steps.

I'm glad if this thread has given you the motivation to go and seek some help. I hope you get the kind of help that's actually helpful, too.

This is exactly what I used to tell myself when I'm younger. Now it's been going on for more than 20 years. I really really wish I'd get some help much earlier. I've damaged my system so that most times when I'm sick I trow up blood (not just a little, either). Lots of pains, and obviously a very messed up relationship with food.

I'm doing ok-ish right now, feeling in control, not binging or purging for some weeks, but it never lasts very long, unfortunately. My teeth have been more or less ok until in the past few years, when the enamel damage has started to become noticable. Still, my gastroenterologist is more worried than my dentist.

Wishing you good luck

The subject this thread is about not can trigger people and some of them will be posting from a place of anger or hurt because they have been there or somone they love have.
Or simply because they don't understand just how complex eating disorders are.

My advice is you need to begin to accept that what your brain is telling you are lies. Your normal isn't act normal but until you start getting some help you won't recognise what truth and lies are.

you will need to go back to square one to relearn the truth about food eating and body image amongst other things but you'll have help with that.

Well don't on making gp appointment and telling dp.

Okay sorry.

Notalwayshungry, please, please get help.

If you see your GP you have every chance of recovery and leading a normal life. Could your sister come with you to the doctor if you feel scared to go on your own?

I think you should also tell your DP what's been going on as he will want to support you if he's a decent man.

I'm willing you on over the Internet to pick up the phone for help!

I missed your update saying you told DP. You have been so brave in facing up to this.

Another voice saying you have an eating disorder. Go to the doctors now.

Sorry, missed a bit of the thread. Please do keep the GP appointment and we'll done for telling DP.

51kg is incredibly tiny, what height are you? I think there is more to this than just the bloat and feeling full, isn't there?

I'm glad you found the courage to tell your DP and book GP, I think you should just definitely tell him what you've told your DP :)

Do you want help? Because it's obviously important that you want to fix this and not just doing it because people have told you to. You need to stick to it you see, so the drive and motivation to stop needs to be there for it to work long term.

I remember when I did the same years ago, I casually mentioned it to my friend and she was really upset, and told me it wasn't normal. I was also in denial, I got worse with it and was purging multiple times a day, I would like to say I'm in recovery but don't feel I can every completely say that, although I don't purge anymore, it's still a battle. I have paid the price with my teeth, but my husband and family are all aware of it now and I have support if I need it.

Your GP should really refer you to counselling to help establish the root cause and look at techniques to help you get better.

It's hard when you have people telling you that you have a problem and you're not quite ready to accept it, you'll get there though, but only if you are ready to accept help and ready to put in measures to stop it.

No need to apologise. Your ill if you had a different illness you wouldn't need to say sorry for the symptoms would you? Well this is no different!

You do need to acknowledge that they are symptoms of a serious illness though not just little unusual quirks.

You are taking some very brave steps with this thread, by going to the gp and telling dp so stop being so hard on yourself and instead be proud that you are seeing things for what they are and getting help.

I started doing what you're doing age 11, I did it on and off for years.

I have to take pills everyday because I have acid reflux and most of my back teeth crumbled, so I"ve spent a fortune on dental work.

I'm 5'5 popcorn.

I feel ashamed because eating disorders are what other people have not me.

I'm an intelligent 29 year old woman who everyone thinks is so well put together and self assured. I'm the person who everyone comes to for advice but they won't be able to if everyone finds out what I've been doing.

Last night I was worried about dying but now I'm more worried about my teeth. I don't want to lose my teeth.

I would have thought that now you are facing it and taking action that you will be BETTER placed to give people advice.
Besides, this is YOUR issue and no-one else needs to know about it.
Good luck at the GP, I hope they are supportive.
Well done on taking these first steps.

Have you been losing weight or have you stayed the same for years?

Well done for admitting this op. You are still intelligent, put together and give great advice, and in a years time you will also be someone who has successfully come to terms with and beaten an eating disorder. That's something to be massively proud of.

I have been this weight for years.

You have a severe mental health problem. Not your fault, any more than a physical illness would be. And you cannot cure it yourself any more than you can with a serious physical illness.

Choosing to ask for help would be a really good thing to do. Best of luck to you.