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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not bring my child up with technology??

316 replies

Babyblues14 · 12/02/2017 18:17

I hate seeing kids in prams holding phones or ipads. Surely children and supposed to be children. When I was younger I could play on own for hours and it was the best time of my life
My partner has a son who lives with us and although hes a teenager now there has never been a time where he is not on a pc, phone or games console. when he was smaller he would scream bloody murder if it was ever taken away from him.
Im currently pregnant and have no plans for my child to grow up like this but my family think Im mad. I just think its a lazy way to shut your kid up. I do use technology but only when necessary and I hardly used social media. I just want my child to have a real childhood instead of scaring at a screen. What do you think??

OP posts:
Original poster
Babyblues14 · 12/02/2017 18:48

I understand that technology is an important part of life now and I didnt mean my child will never be taught to use it. I think I may have explained it wrong. I just meant really young children, 1,2,3 who dont even understand what it is they're using. How did people cope when there was no technology. Just sit down and cry because they had to spend all day with their kid? And just like the children at disneyland, they couldnt of cared less where you took them because their too busy staring at a screen which is really depressing.

OP posts:
TwitterQueen1 · 12/02/2017 18:48

I don't recall seeing any babies in prams with iPads lately.... Or phones. The conversation may be somewhat limited...
Very daft post op. How lovely it must be on your virtuous happy cloud floating far above us mere mortals

Original poster
Babyblues14 · 12/02/2017 18:51

Twitterqueen
someone else also said that they saw children in prams so the conversation is not that limited so there must be lots of other people on this happy cloud with me.
thanks for your input

OP posts:
EveOnline2016 · 12/02/2017 18:53

I had such great idea about how I was going to parent, but then my son was born and later diagnosed with autism. Screen time saves my sanity.

Euripidesralph · 12/02/2017 18:53

You really are very silly op....I personally agree that limiting my children's access to screen time is important. ...but what I don't do is get on my high horse and judge others

You're attitude is appalling , I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old , whilst neither have access to ipads or my phone , far more importantly they have a mothere who doesn't think it's acceptable to be so nasty and judgemental over other people's behaviour

I know which bit I'm more proud of.....grow the hell up OP

Oysterbabe · 12/02/2017 18:53

Interesting that neither of the people on that happy cloud actually have children.

Screwinthetuna · 12/02/2017 18:54

I agree with the happy medium comment. I've actually never seen a kid in a pram holding a phone or iPad while walking along the street. I HAVE let my toddler watch Peppa on my phone while I was having a vaginal exam at the doctors to stop her crying. My kids like going on the iPad sometimes but tend to play a game for 15 mins and then get bored anyway. A recent 10 hour flight would have been horrendous without movies and iPads, too. They also have their favourite Disney movies and I think that's nice and not detrimental.
Playing with toys/friends/imaginative play are all brilliant but so can a little technology be!

53rdAndBird · 12/02/2017 18:54

My 2-year-old plays iPhone games when in a buggy sometimes. Feel free to judge away! But in the future, when you're on a noisy, boring bus after a busy day out with a tired, bored, frustrated toddler who wants something interesting to focus down on and concentrate on for 20 minutes - come talk to me, I've got some great recommendations for shape-matching games.

PoorYorick · 12/02/2017 18:56

I just checked your halo and it's powered by Android. Too bad!

WhereYouLeftIt · 12/02/2017 18:57

"How did people cope when there was no technology."
Books. Sprirograph. Meccanno. Lego. The bounds of the technology available to them when the world's tech was mechanical not digital. But now the bounds are digital, so they play with that. ANd soon, things will move on and play will change again ...

WhooooAmI24601 · 12/02/2017 18:57

Which children at Disneyland? We went last year in March and I don't recall seeing any children who weren't looking around with demented eyes high on sugar and Mickey Mouse. My own DCs included.

Generalisations like that are no use; of course some parents allow their DCs too much access to technology. For every parent who gives a 3 year old an iPad at Disneyland there'll be 50 parents shouting "ohmygodit'sCinderella" and squealing. Nobody is a perfect parent. Nobody gets it just right. You do what you can to give them the tools to survive using the tools you have. Some people don't have the patience to sit on the floor with their offspring all day cooing as they're handed spitty-water in a Mrs Potts teapot and commanded "drink that, you". Some parents don't enjoy it, for others they just don't have time.

Parenting is never about what others do. It's about what you do. Make your choices and let others make theirs. You'll never win if you spend your time comparing other parents behaviours with your own as-yet-untested-behaviour.

Original poster
Babyblues14 · 12/02/2017 18:57

Lol I see that people are easily offended when you question their parenting. Dont worry everyone you can put your claws back in. it is just a question

OP posts:
FaFoutis · 12/02/2017 18:57

My dc didn't have access to computers or phones until they were about 7 (because I only use them for work). It didn't make me a better mother or make them scream less. We all find different ways to cope, so best not to judge until you've been there.

m0therofdragons · 12/02/2017 18:59

Meh, do what you like. Dh grew up with a game boy - is that really so different. I finally caved and my dc - dd1 age 8, dtds age 5, got kindle fires for Christmas. They use them a fair amount but largely to play music on and dance together. I think it's about balance. Both dh and I have jobs where technology plays an integral part. We're not in IT it's just that our creative roles have evolved with the digital times. Kids need awareness of that however it needs to be mixed with creative play, sport etc.

PoorYorick · 12/02/2017 19:00

Lol I see that people are easily offended when you question their parenting

I think it's more that it's just too easy not to dig at an obvious idiot. I love low hanging fruit.

Atenco · 12/02/2017 19:00

I agree with you, OP. But people on mumsnet feel like you are directly criticising their parenting when you make a comment like that.

Mind you my dgd has quite a lot of screentime and also has lots of other activities and pleasures. It can sometimes be hard to take her away from the screen but it is not impossible by any means.

Oysterbabe · 12/02/2017 19:00

I hate to be the first to wheel this one out, but how do you know the kids in prams with ipads don't have a learning difficulty of some kind? Basically it's none of your damn business.

Anyway there's weird old tip I use to make sure my kid doesn't spend her life glued to a screen, it's called parenting.

MrsNuckyThompson · 12/02/2017 19:01

An iPhone can come in very handy if you are in the situation of having to distract a child with limited resources, for example if you're having a personal appointment or a long wait for something or need to choose something in a boring place.

I get what you're saying but you sound pretty judgey and might well fall to earth with a bump given this is your first child!!

AllTheGlitters · 12/02/2017 19:02

I have a very strong philosophy about nature, being outdoors, seeing how the natural world works and animals etc for myself, and will be raising my child the same way.

That doesn't mean she can't ever use technology though, it's a useful tool and can be offered as another form of varied stimulation. My daughter likes to watch Peppa Pig, she gets to watch a bit in the afternoon before nap time, and once a week at her nana's she gets to play games on the tab (we don't have a tab at our house).

I think everything in moderation, and agree with posters who say really it's a live and let live thing. If you don't want your child to use it at all, that's fine but there's no point demonising it really. Of course anything is bad if it's too much (isn't that what too much means??) and I do have real concerns about kids (like some I know) being left all day to play xbox or all day glued to tabs. It's very, very sad but is down to bad parenting, not the technology itself.

Also in regards to your OP, if you take anything off a toddler you are risking a tantrum, be it a tablet with the latest games or a tin of baked beans :)

Original poster
Babyblues14 · 12/02/2017 19:03

lol im an idiot for wanting to spend with my child when their younger instead of sticking them in front of a computer screen all day. I see, what an awful person I must be, I guess everyones parents when we were younger were all idiots too

OP posts:
hobnobsaremyfavourite · 12/02/2017 19:03

Ah one of those posters
Hmm

Rabbit12345 · 12/02/2017 19:03

Lol I see that people are easily offended when you question their parenting. Dont worry everyone you can put your claws back in. it is just a question

Ok OP well why don't you tell us what you believe a "real childhood" to be and why do you believe that other children do not benefit from this because you have seen a couple of examples? your experience of how your step son is raised is probably not the same as every other parent. Having said that my eldest did not have all of this until she was much older as it wasn't mainstream then. You also can't compare the parenting of a teen to that of a toddler. You will take more of a lead from them as they get older.

omnishamblesssssssssssssss · 12/02/2017 19:04

I agree with you. People will harp on about kids needing to be clued up IT wise but in reality it doesn't take much input to be IT literate. My own kids scored extreamly high in secondary school IT

53rdAndBird · 12/02/2017 19:05

lol im an idiot for wanting to spend with my child when their younger instead of sticking them in front of a computer screen all day

wait, OP, I thought you were playing on your own for hours as a child and it was the happiest time of your life?

gillybeanz · 12/02/2017 19:05

We managed ok without them when mine were babies and toddlers as they didn't exist.
When mobiles weren't so big anymore they were allowed old ones, but these were hard to get hold of so they just had the toy plastic ones that were sold.
Mainly to feel grown up like mummy and daddy, there were no games or internet on phones.
When out and about you can use toys as distractions, just pop a couple in the basket of your buggy or pram.
You don't have to buy a tablet to keep your child occupied if you don't want to.