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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not bring my child up with technology??

316 replies

Babyblues14 · 12/02/2017 18:17

I hate seeing kids in prams holding phones or ipads. Surely children and supposed to be children. When I was younger I could play on own for hours and it was the best time of my life
My partner has a son who lives with us and although hes a teenager now there has never been a time where he is not on a pc, phone or games console. when he was smaller he would scream bloody murder if it was ever taken away from him.
Im currently pregnant and have no plans for my child to grow up like this but my family think Im mad. I just think its a lazy way to shut your kid up. I do use technology but only when necessary and I hardly used social media. I just want my child to have a real childhood instead of scaring at a screen. What do you think??

OP posts:
Witchend · 12/02/2017 19:29

This is one of those posts that makes me want to say "bless" and look back when I was pregnant with dc1 and had these sort of thoughts.

None of them materialised for long, and certainly didn't last dc2.

Thing is when you see the child in the buggy or supermarket trolley that's actually not a time when you are interacting much with them. The value of having them happy in there is huge. You're not seeing the points that those parents you are judging are on their own with their baby and are on the floor playing with them. They're able to give them their full attention because they've been able to get on with things that have to be done in peace.

PoorYorick · 12/02/2017 19:30

oh im am dyslexic by the way but thanks everyone for pointing that out

So you don't like being judged by people who don't know you?

ghostyslovesheets · 12/02/2017 19:30

it's like MN Bingo Grin

yabu OP - come back when you have a child ...and stop asking us to judge your partners ex

allthelove · 12/02/2017 19:31

Wait...just you wait.

Wait till the bathroom needs cleaned or the beds need changing. Wait till you need a shit and want 2 min peace to do it.

Oh you are in for a treat!

Meffy · 12/02/2017 19:31

NO CHILD LIKES FUCKING WOODEN TOYS!!!! Pretentious first time parents LOVE wooden toys... then the real world kicks in and the plastic tat that they love comes out and then you HAVE to clean the oven otherwise you may kill someone with food poisoning so you put the evil pig on the iPad so you can save your family from contamination! Or sometimes just do you can have a poo without company !!!

I love the pregnant ones saying how they will parent .... soon they will be on the social media moaning about how their darling has loads of wooden toys but the parent is totally sleep deprived and they can't cope!!!

Walkinglikeazombie · 12/02/2017 19:31

Haven't RTFT apart from OP's posts.
Honestly, I think you should just wait till your baby is here and it's at least toddler age. As someone on first page said, "nothing as smug as mum to be".
I had a friend just like you. While she was pregnant, she swore she will never let her DD have any screen time.
Her DD is now 18 months, her favourite thing to do is watch Peppa Pig.
My friend now says how she herself loves Peppa as it's "representing healthy relationships and looks educational" Hmm

FaFoutis · 12/02/2017 19:32

That's it ghostys, that's what I don't like.

Original poster
Babyblues14 · 12/02/2017 19:32

I couldnt care less about my partners son she hasnt spoke to her kid for two years because she is too busy with her new partner so I dont need anyone else to judge her lol

OP posts:
BearsDontDigOnDancing · 12/02/2017 19:33

"lol im an idiot for wanting to spend with my child when their younger instead of sticking them in front of a computer screen all day. I see, what an awful person I must be, I guess everyone's parents when we were younger were all idiots too"

"How did people cope when there was no technology. Just sit down and cry because they had to spend all day with their kid?"

I am not sure where this idea comes from that before technology parents had endless time to spend with their kids, or actually even wanted to.

I grew up in the 80's, and as the second oldest of four, all of us quite close in age, we were pretty much all left to fend for ourselves, while my dad was working and my mom was doing housework, cooking, or working part time. I know my mom loves us, but when we were younger, after she had done everything, I bet the last thing she wanted to do was get down on the floor and play with us.

My dad was one of 10, his mom had even less time to spend playing with the kids.

Chelazla · 12/02/2017 19:33

WTF Peppa is a brat and the parents are drips! Why haven't they take. George to the speech therapist???

Original poster
Babyblues14 · 12/02/2017 19:34

partners ex*

OP posts:
Atenco · 12/02/2017 19:34

None of us carry our parenting ideals through to the letter, but it not that impossible to bring a child up without screentime. We didn't have a TV until my dd was eight and I am an extremely lazy person. In fact it was because of my laziness that I didn't get a tv as I knew I would have started using it as a babysitter.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 12/02/2017 19:34

Well you are delight aren't you

arsenalwatford · 12/02/2017 19:34

Ah. Mums to be.

Just placemarking for a year's time.

Chelazla · 12/02/2017 19:34

Meffy my kids love Wooden toys but love the plastic crap too!

splendide · 12/02/2017 19:35

I don't really let my two year use much tech, it's not that hard when you've only got one and they're in childcare three days a week.

What I don't understand is why you think your DH is not going to allow screen time with his younger child when he's clearly a fan for his elder?

melonribena · 12/02/2017 19:35

My mum who had twins in the early 80's freely admits that if iPads had been around when we were little then she would have used them.
I used to walk down the road reading a book. It's no different really.
We don't limit our 4 yr old. He has free range. He loves it in the car but also likes to sing, chat and look out the window.
Today he's watched you tube, done painting, craft, an activity book, some writing, read a few books, played games and chatted lots. He regulates himself and it all works out.

ghostyslovesheets · 12/02/2017 19:36

ah so it's you and your DH who feed him technology then ...

Chelazla · 12/02/2017 19:36

I agree with melon totally if you have a sensible attitude to things, I think the kids will too.

AliceInUnderpants · 12/02/2017 19:37

I never stated I wouldnt bring them up with technology when their children

Um, yes you did. Read the title of the thread you posted!

And on a second note, most technology has some sort of spell checking function. Maybe you'd do best to use more.

Gowgirl · 12/02/2017 19:37

I haven't RTFT but good luck op, am now going to snigger into my gin as have 2 close family members pregnant with first babies, I just laugh at their notionsGrin

AYankinSpanx · 12/02/2017 19:37

Aw OP. I Saw your thread title and knew how it going to pan out.

I get your basic point and share some of what you say but by DC3 my parameters changed somewhat.

You can do wooden toys (some kids do love them, sorry) and the odd bit screen time as well. In life generally, not confined to this issue, I've discovered that being flexible and never saying never, while trying to stay more or true to my aims is the best I can manage most of the time!

We have a happy mix of wooden, plastic and electronic now!

JenniferYellowHat1980 · 12/02/2017 19:37

Plymouth Brethren raise well behaved children without use of technology

WTF?! The Plymouth Brethren bring their children up to judge non-brethren as inferior. I also hear from a former colleague who worked at a Focus School that they can be arrogant little oiks with a well developed sense of entitlement. What kind of crass comparison is that?

gamerchick · 12/02/2017 19:38

Looks to me you are just wanting a platform to slag off your partners ex and her child. Yanno your partners child.

The best parents in the world are the ones who haven't sprogged yet. You've got a massive surprise coming.

AYankinSpanx · 12/02/2017 19:38

And on a second note, most technology has some sort of spell checking function. Maybe you'd do best to use more

The OP has said that she's dyslexic.