to not bring my child up with technology??

[Babyblues14]

I hate seeing kids in prams holding phones or ipads. Surely children and supposed to be children. When I was younger I could play on own for hours and it was the best time of my life
My partner has a son who lives with us and although hes a teenager now there has never been a time where he is not on a pc, phone or games console. when he was smaller he would scream bloody murder if it was ever taken away from him.
Im currently pregnant and have no plans for my child to grow up like this but my family think Im mad. I just think its a lazy way to shut your kid up. I do use technology but only when necessary and I hardly used social media. I just want my child to have a real childhood instead of scaring at a screen. What do you think??

Yes as well as the talker ds1 uses google maps and YouTube to communicate. Bloody marvel.

Well, I have 4 and I haven't 'changed my mind' (aka seen sense) about babies and toddlers and technology. I'm with math on this one - not while they're little, restricted use from school age.

I don't think they're missing out - the toddler apps and games are designed to be ridiculously easy to use and they're all about instant gratification. My 8 year old is now top at technology and learning to code, she don't need to press buttons on a screen at 3 to get there. She is good at maths though. True, my kids started school being less mouse dexterous that some others but again, that's not hard and they worked it out within a few weeks. The older 2 started school reading fluently though and the 3rd draws very elaborate pictures.

and I do understand the use of technology for a disabled young child if it can aid them and make thing easier for them I would be all for it. But I dont see it as a necessity when its not needed for any other reason

Your kid. Your rules.
My kid. My rules. That's about it.

The best thing I've learned from being a parent of a 4yo? Never judge another parent. We're doing the best we can.

Good luck.

Reading this while my 2 DD'S are playing Dance 2017 on the Xbox. The oldest one went to the gym for 2 hours as well today.
I wish I had their energy!
They have both been on their phones a fair bit today...but have also both read books.
When they were small giving them their Nintendo DS's to keep them occupied after a family meal out etc was a godsend - but we also went to the park loads, swam, played board games etc.
Everything in moderation.

Yes well, I wasn't going to use iPads etc either. Then DS learned to crawl. And didn't stop crawling. Even in the midst of nappy changes.

Now, I could pin him down causing him (and therefore me) to get rather upset and flustered, and probably smear excrement all over the room as well, or I could stick a short blast of YouTube / iPlayer kids on and do a standing nappy change while he stands still to watch. I know which option I prefer, and so does DS.

But judge away! If it makes you feel better.

Not everyone changes their mind. My eldest is nearly 10 and has always had very restricted screen time. The difference in her and her tech obsessed peers is notable. Though I think it,has got much worse in the last 5 years or so. Saying that kids need to learn about tech for when they are adults is ridiculous. My kids have never had any trouble learning to use tech in.the very limited time I have used it. An Ipad can be mastered by a 1 year old in about 5 minutes. Also the tech we are using today will be obsolete in about 5 years let alone by the time toddlers reach adulthood.

@BabyBlues14 - the problem is that you are judging people who are actually DOING what you are really just theorising about.

It is wonderful to have great plans about what a perfect parent you are going to be - we all do that.

But then we actually have our children, and the reality is often very different to our dreams and hopes - and we have to compromise or go mad.

You may have the easiest baby, who feeds with no problems, sleeps like an angel, brings up their wind at the first pat, never has colic and sleeps through at the earliest opportunity - some people do. You may not. You may find yourself grey with fatigue from pacing the floor with a baby who never sleeps for more than 20 minutes at a go - and if you can get a few extra minutes, to get a shower or a brief nap, by using an app on the iPad, you will. And no-one should judge you for doing so.

If you have an easy baby, they may not be an easy toddler - the terrible twos can be really hard - and whilst you can do a lot with consistent parenting, you may find that you do sometimes resort to technology to avert a tantrum - because sometimes you just don't want yet another screaming match. I once let my 2 year old carry on eating tortilla chips from the top of the bin because I couldn't face yet another tantrum. I did hide the bin, once he wandered off, but I was so desperate that I took desperate measures. Incidentally, he survived, is fighting fit, a law graduate and has a really good job.

Then there are the teenage years - I attribute many of my grey hairs to seeing three boys through them.

What I am trying to say is that parenthood has many challenges and a sensible parent will make good use of all the tools available to them, and will not look down their nose at any of them.

And a gentle and humane person will not judge another parent, based only on a snapshot of their life, for using whatever helps them get through the day.

There's a pretty big difference between "modern technology is not essential" and "it's a lazy way to shut your child up, and I am clearly a superior parent for wanting to spend time with my child rather than plonk it in front of a screen 24/7 which is what I assume you're all doing."

And a gentle and humane person will not judge another parent, based only on a snapshot of their life, for using whatever helps them get through the day.

I'm going to give you a kiss for that (sorry have drunk wine!)

Mwah!

A lot of parents do though. And it's a slippery slope. Screens are addictive to kids so you give the Ipad so they won't scream while you have a shower, then so they won't scream on the bus and before you know it your kids knows exactly what they need to do to get the Ipad (scream) and parents give it to avoid tantrums if they say no. Behaviour gets worse, ironically, due to the effect of excessive screen time on the brain and the cycle continues and worsens. This isn't a rare thing. It is widespread. Ask any teacher or anyone who works with kids.

it is a lazy way to shut your kid up. modern technology is not an essential way to comfort your child. it is the same thing

Great idea, come back in a few years and update us ........

Between the ages of 18mths and 3, we rarely ate out with ds. He wouldn't sit still for more than 2 minutes without screaming.
Very rarely, we ate at Sainsbury's cafe.
The iPad was literally the only thing that kept him quiet for as long as it took me to bolt my food down my throat.

Teaching children how to use technology is vital. It just doesn't have to start when they are still babies really.

Nothing wrong with wanting them not to use it when they still very young.

I don't understand why people are all offended, you made it clear that you were talking about children under the age of three and I think your position is fair enough.

BTW I am a mother of five children who spend far too much time on the internet.

I feel as if I wasted my time writing my post.

I just hope that, when the parenting challenges come - and they will - you don't find yourself being judged for how you cope, by someone who really has no experience as a parent.

I never at any stage stated I was going to be a perfect parent and I said I think its a lazy way. thats called an opinion which is what everyone has on here. thats the point of mumsnet. to share your opinions

Do you judge your DP's parenting in other ways?
In my experience, it is the opinionated, slightly uptight mums-to-be who have the hardest time dealing with the unexpected.

The crash section, inability to BF, not living every minute, struggling with a toddler....

Stop being so goady and judgemental. You have NO idea how you will cope as a mother and the reality of technology and youth.
I would hate it if my DP was posting on here about my perceived failings in bringing up my child. You really really have no idea.

I read a lot of 18th-century parenting manuals a few years ago. One of the really controversial parenting things in the 18th century was rocking/swinging cradles. They were relatively new and pretty fashionable - and lots of people were FURIOUS about them because they were lazy and a sign of bad parenting. (Good mothers/nurses should be rocking the baby in their own arms! What is this world coming to!)

I wish they'd had Mumsnet back then...

Well, we all have opinions. Some people also have experience, of course.

Great idea, come back in a few years and update us ........

My first three children didn't use technology at that age because we didn't have any for them to use. We managed. If the OP is dead against her very young child using it she might well keep to it.

Slightly different but I remember being pregnant with my third child when I had the internet and I mentioned on a thread that I wouldn't buy my children have toy guns. I was told I would change my mind eventually. My eldest is 17 and five children later I never did change my mind.

Sometimes we change our minds on things we decided when we were pregnant, and sometimes we stick by those decisions.

My 5yo and 9yo do not have access to tablets, phones or computer games. My 9yo uses the computer now for a few things. They watch videos but not for hours on end.

When we have a long journey or a wait for an appointment, they read (or I read to them), draw, listen to an audio book. Same with eating out (which is a rarity for us).

It is possible to limit access to screens.

im sure lots of peoples dps have posted much worse things about their partner on here. people talk in detail about their sex life and embarassing things their dp does. He knows my opinion on how he brought his kid up and he agrees that he did it all wrong. he was 17 when he had him, I think I know my dp more than anybody else and he is fine with my opinion

bumsexatthebingo

I am a Computer Science teacher and yet I still think you are wrong in most cases. I have come across two pupils who have had an addiction to devices/gaming/social media. Just two and one had plenty of other problems where tech was the least of their worries.

There is no harm in the use of tech in a sensible manner. Which is what most parents practise. On the other side of the scale, I in fact currently teach a Year 7, who has had very little introduction to tech and who's parents refused for them to use it in Primary-he has struggled with Google for research, using a Mouse even! Took me 40 minutes to show him how to use basic MS Word features once. He is really struggling to settle in poor love.

The majority of young people today are happy and well adjusted and yet use tech daily. It doesn't have to be all or nothing and I don't think here is any need to judge a whole group of parents.