to not bring my child up with technology??

[Babyblues14]

I hate seeing kids in prams holding phones or ipads. Surely children and supposed to be children. When I was younger I could play on own for hours and it was the best time of my life
My partner has a son who lives with us and although hes a teenager now there has never been a time where he is not on a pc, phone or games console. when he was smaller he would scream bloody murder if it was ever taken away from him.
Im currently pregnant and have no plans for my child to grow up like this but my family think Im mad. I just think its a lazy way to shut your kid up. I do use technology but only when necessary and I hardly used social media. I just want my child to have a real childhood instead of scaring at a screen. What do you think??

Smoking through pregnancy will do your child a lot more damage than letting them watch a screen occasionally.

Hates tech.
Posts as such on an INTERNET chat board.
Hmmmmmm ok.

YANBU op. There is a happy medium but most kids use screens far too much. They sell baby swings with Ipad holders on now which is just insane. I think that screen time should be very limited - particularly when kids are very young. There are lots of studies that link even moderate use with behavioural problems. I think the number of children that enter schools these days with delays in speech, social skills, motor skills etc is directly linked to the increase in the use of smartphones/Ipads and the effect of this on developing brains.

Starting on social media early has been awful for some of my friends children.

OP, can you answer what a few of us have asked you?

Your partner has already helped to raise one child who seems obsessed with technology.

What makes you think he'll help to raise this one any differently?

I did read it all. Thank you.

I don't know if it is just your posting style, but you come over as being very arrogant on this thread.

Why not just ask what people think about children u3 having screen time, and actually debate with people, rather than coming on all judgy and critical, onto a parenting site, when you haven't yet been there, done that, and had the experience yet ? You'll a) learn a lot more and b) have far more enjoyable discussions with all kinds of posters if you tone down the aggression a bit.

Ha "don't even understand what they using" believe me my dd3 knows exactally what's she's using and how to do it too. She changes the settings, brightness connects to correct wifi, logs into her own accounts (by selecting her name rather than ds8) uses safari and apps brilliantly.
She is not stuck in front of a screen 247, we also read books and play games and go for walks and build dens and bake cakes and make meals, clean the house do the laundry go shopping go to nursery

I am proud that she is so savvy using technology. Same goes for my phone she knows the password and calls granny!

I don't understand why anyone cares how other people raise their children, once you get beyond the basics of giving them love, food, shelter and guidance.

Loads of my friends do things I wouldn't do, and I'm sure they think the same of me. As long as their children are pleasant, polite, honest etc, all the things that make you a decent member of society, I really can't see why anyone would care how they achieve that.

My children were never going to play with anything other than wooden toys....
I wasn't going to move any breakable items as I would simply tell them "No" and they would obey...
No sweets for my precious children....bad for their teeth you know

This was my mother's face every time I told her one of these:

The rules we stick to, no screens during meals - eating out or at home, and no screens in bedrooms - I feel sufficiently smug about these rules that I can let all the others go....

Probably best not to judge until you have actually had children. If you manage to get through their whole childhood with your rules intact, THEN you get to feel extra smug.

I have now quit smoking thank you and why you feel the need to bring up a thread that i posted about struggling to quit smoking when I found out I was pregnant is beyond me. If you have nothing other than pathetic comments to add then please dont bother. If you had posted an old thread about having an affair would it be ok for me to throw it in your face when we are talking about some thing conpletely different. pathetic

And hear hear treaclesoda - I completely agree.

Decent members of society come from lots of different parenting styles!

I am friends with a third grade teacher (children aged about 8) who has seen in her classroom for the last few years the results of far too much reliance on technology by parents - children who can't use scissors, children whose drawing skills are at the level of 5 year olds, children who do not interact well with each other, and many more children who are overweight than she ever saw before in a 20-years-and-counting teaching career.

OP, I think you are absolutely right that there is no place for electronic devices in the case of babies and toddlers. They need sensory play and they need to develop a connection with caregivers and to learn to function in whatever group they belong to - family, nursery, whatever.. They miss out on vital developmental tasks (socio-emotional, as well as physical) if they spend time zoned out in front of a screen, and they will never make up for that developmental loss. 'Online educational tools for toddlers' is a contradiction in terms. There is nothing better for toddlers than meaningful engagement with a caregiver in whatever real life, stimulating physical environment the parents can provide - home, nursery, CM, etc.

Once school age approaches however, they will need some exposure to tech, because schools tend to use tech in the classroom and children play games and absorb entertainment online. For social development with peers, it is a good idea to have some exposure to popular children's TV and movies. There is a happy medium, and it's important to control what your child is exposed to and for how long.

Be consistent - you can keep your child as tech free as you like within reason. As with candy and Coca Cola, you can say no and keep on saying no in the face of stropping.

Don't disparage children or parents who use a lot of tech as a means of keeping your child off it - make sure your child knows this is a positive choice for you, chosen because you love everything else, not something you do to fill a hole in your personality or to bolster a sense of superiority or to indulge a need for an axe to grind.

The screaming spoilt child thing isn't about technology it's about how you parent. Always letting them do what they want no matter what will end up with screaming fits when you stop them doing that. Even well behaved kids will have the occasional hissy fit it's part of the learning process, what matters is how you deal with that hissy fit. Make it not acceptable and eventually they work out that it gets them nowhere and they tend to stop doing it.
I have a niece who is not allowed any screens (phone, tv, iPad, PC) at all, she is just as able & liable to kick off as my boys who are allowed access.
My boys are both allowed access to technology and have done since they were little and we have managed a happy balance. The 8yo will happily play on his own, with his brother, with his friend with or without technology. His main vice is actually reading books - I keep having to tell him to put them down and eat dinner/go to bed/ walk/ clean his teeth/ wee - without a book in his hands!

my partner works 16 hours a day and comes home at midnight, so I will be the main parent in my child life

"People are easily offended when you question their parenting" - come back to us when you are a parent & we'll see how you feel about it!!

This thread really has it all doesn't it?

Cough cough wum hack

I've always been quite strict with my son in that I have held firm and not given in to tantrums. He still tantrums at the age of 5, even though I would have thought he'd have grown out of it ages ago. Some children are just headstrong and let their emotions take over, technology or no technology.

Who is currently the main carer for your dss?

26 years ago l said l would bring my baby up with little or no TV. And l did. But every time he passed a shop window with tvs in it he stopped enthralled. He became obsessed with TV in other people's house and to this day loves TV. My other 2 l had learnt my lesson and was easier going and they never bothered too much. Be careful!!

@BabyBlues - you are sounding very judgemental - and judging something of which you have very little first hand experience. You may find your view changes when you are a full time parent to an actual child, rather than pregnant with your first, and full of high-flown ideas about what a perfect mum you are going to be.

You may look back, in a few years time, and blush at how naively judgemental you were.

We all set out to be the best parent we can be - but most of us find that there are compromises to be made, when we run up against real life. There's nothing wrong with shooting for the stars - but you can do it without judging other parents at the coalface of parenthood - raising toddlers.

Hehe I do love a good smug goady post. Why is it the best parents are the ones that don't actually have children? Good luck to you op when you need to get some cleaning done or want to take a shower, or just want a cup of tea in 5 mins of peace while your partner is working for 16 hours a day without something to keep your dc occupied. Please do come back and let us know how you get on.

I will go and read all the replies. But I HATE the term children should be children. What does that even mean. Its 2017 to not have technology now would be seriously limiting the potential of your children.

Like one po said. Its not all or nothing.

Yanbu, do what you like. I also thought I wouldn't let my child use technology until he was at least five.

Ahahahahahaha.

He was five weeks old and had been screaming from colic for an hour when I discovered that showing him Gigglebellies Twinkle Twinkle on the ipad stopped him crying. I worshipped gigglebellies until he got over colic a few weeks later!

If you never need technology for him, great. Don't judge others if sometimes they do. Some people have babies that sleep through the night, husbands that help out and grandparents just round the corner happy to hold the baby anytime - some mums have babies that wake every hour and won't nap alone, husband working round the clock, no grandparents, and the only way to get the washing up done / stay sane is to put the tv on for a bit or dole out the ipad. If you don't need those things fantastic - but why be Mrs Judgypants?