Husband is a thoughtless git

[Chickydoo]

So have just blown a gasket.
Worked this morning, now working at my laptop, presentations to prepare.
Can smell yummy smells downstairs. DH
Preparing lunch.
I nipped down and had a look.
Roast pork with all the trimmings.
I don't eat pork, however I would be fine with the veg and potatoes, maybe a few extra mushrooms or something.
Went back upstairs carried on with work.
Got quite bogged down with it, assumed lunch must be ready, went in to kitchen to find DH & the 2 teens who are home today clearing up. They had eaten the lot! Not even a potato left. I am so cross. I cook every day of the week for all of them, but today I was busy & not even offered lunch:(

It is our anniversary tomorrow, apparently he is playing golf.
I think I am being a mug

Rant over

While I agree with everyone, I do have to say I would do this! I never cook during the week, dh does. I'm crap at it, it stresses me out and he's amazingly good. But on the weekend I might make something for me and the kids and not him - the difference being he rarely wants to eat what I've made and doesn't really have lunch. I do forget to ask him if wants something though and occasionally he'll say oh cheers for not making me anything

Oh yes I said lots (if I put what I said this thread would be deleted)

No it wouldn't.

So what did you actually say?

Quite frankly I would be disgusted with my husband and bitterly disappointed with my teens.

Just cook for yourself. They are obviously more than capable of fending for themselves...leave them to it.

Have yourself an all about "ME" day tomorrow, pamper yourself, maybe treat yourself to something special.

Don't just stop at one day, why not have yourself an entire week :)

That's different, snapcrap, if your DH wouldn't want to actually eat the meal you were cooking. I wouldn't really make my DH a different meal if he didn't want what I was cooking everyone else, he would offer to make his own.

OP, now you've explained the ins and outs it's clear that there's no misunderstanding. You were forgotten, not thought of. And that is spectacularly shit in your own house hold with the people who are supposed to care for you the most.

If you think he is worth "educating" about how to have empthy and think of others who are supposed to be dear to him then go for it. Sounds like you'll have to be very clear in your expectations though, and tell him exactly how his thoughtless deeds make you feel.

If you've already tried doing that over the years, and nothing has changed then I'd be reevaluating everything.

Incidentally, the kids are not his, are they? Your step-kids, I mean? If they are, I would be having a serious think about how I was viewed in the house. He clearly sees you as a separate unit to him and the kids.

Utter wanker

He couldn't give a shit. Dh would be an ex if he treated me like this.

Have a lovely time tonight. Have a think about what you want to do long term though. Loads of advice and support in relationships

Hey! Chickydoo's husband! You are a cunt! HTH

No Lots - a cunt has depth and warmth. This "man" has neither

His 'late lunch'' comment confirms my suspicions that he was punishing you for forcing the poor lamb (or pig in this case, given you were having pork) to make lunch.

Any chance he did call you down but you didn't hear him? Didn't you hear them all eating and presumably chatting?

It's reading things like this that make me feel relieved I'm separated

When I was in agony with contractions my H made himself a nice big lunch and sat in front of his Xbox.

So why didn't you say something like....'when its ready, give me a shout. I'd love some of that.'

IMHO men are simple creatures. Food, drink, sex and somewhere to sleep just about sums them up and they def don't do ESP. You said nothing but went back upstairs so he assumed you didn't want anything to eat ergo you didn't get anything. However, he is a thoughtless git but then you made the mistake of thinking he could read your mind and patently he can't.

Thank you all so much!
You are fabulous folk.
There are times when we question & doubt ourselves, maybe I should take it on the chin etc etc. Hell I have really had enough today.
You are right about the kids too! Selfish fuckers!
I will say it louder SELFISH FUCKERS!
I am now going to go out & have a nice evening.
You have all made me feel a little bit stronger & rather empowered
So here's to you 💐🍸🍾
And a to the SELFISH FUCKER
(Mind you he would probably scoff the packet & not offer any around)

Your kids have obviously learned from his example. Since they are all old enough to cook, I wouldn't cook for them anymore at all, or your h.

Scorpio, you shouldn't have to explicitly say you want some of the lunch being cooked in your own kitchen by your own family. It's got nothing to do with being simple minded, it's to do with being a thoughtless & selfish git(s).

That's a load of sexist shit, quite frankly Scorpio. You don't excuse awful selfish hurtful behaviour by blaming his penis. Bad form.

Eh, ... enough with all the 'men are simple, gormless, selfish creatures ...' please. Fucks sake. Aye, maybe the ones you know. I couldn't respect, let alone love, such pathetic ineptitude.

Chickydoo - YANBU. How horrible to have the very people you cook for day in day out ignore you in such a way. As if you matter not. You need to get angry and stay angry. Don't let him make you feel that your angry isn't warranted. It fucking is.

I would be absolutely offing furious! YANBU.

effing!!!!

Ha just wrote a very similar post! What's wrong with them? 😡

My 6 year old has just sweetly offered me and the cat pudding, as she was outraged at the behaviour of these stupid 'men'.

OP what did he and your teens say? What did they think you would be eating?

Is tomorrow going to be your last wedding anniversary?

I'd order a takeaway for myself to arrive just when he gets home.

What utter pathetic bollocks from some posters. Men are not simple creatures. They can be adult mature people. Some just choose not too as they are babied by mothers and then wives ffs.

That's sad. I'd be gutted if my husband and children did this (well, the children if they were adults).

It does sound like it's a habit of thoughtlessness. It's ingrained in us to feed our family make sure they are cared for, catered for and well. Yet when the boots on the other foot you have been dropped like a sack of spuds.

It's not on. And damn good for you for saying something, holding your head up and not letting it go.

Have fun tonight.

No it's not every man, of course not. Just relayed this story to my DH who reacted the same as me.