Husband is a thoughtless git

[Chickydoo]

So have just blown a gasket.
Worked this morning, now working at my laptop, presentations to prepare.
Can smell yummy smells downstairs. DH
Preparing lunch.
I nipped down and had a look.
Roast pork with all the trimmings.
I don't eat pork, however I would be fine with the veg and potatoes, maybe a few extra mushrooms or something.
Went back upstairs carried on with work.
Got quite bogged down with it, assumed lunch must be ready, went in to kitchen to find DH & the 2 teens who are home today clearing up. They had eaten the lot! Not even a potato left. I am so cross. I cook every day of the week for all of them, but today I was busy & not even offered lunch:(

It is our anniversary tomorrow, apparently he is playing golf.
I think I am being a mug

Rant over

OP, I can't understand why you don't have conversations in the subject of meal times. In our house we discuss what we're going to have for each meal before we start cooking or even shopping for it. E.g. Will say "I'm working on Thursday night so don't include me in dinner plans."

I have no idea how households manage without this sort of discussion about meals.

Erm, not all men are selfish. My dh has never made himself something without offering me some.

Hey asshole, are you reading this?

That's for your D ick H.

For a mother to be treated with such contempt in her own home, I'd assume that there was something very very wrong in the relationship.

Curly hair assassin
I don't eat meat (but not strictly a veggie)
It is really difficult for me to digest it (have a digestive issue...another long story)
I did tell him lunch smelt great his response was that it was going to be a late lunch as I hadn't been back from work long...cue me assuming I would be called when it was ready.
My office is on the top story of a 4 story old house.

Yes I pay for the food & shop for the food, I buy pork for the rest of the family, I can easily forgo that bit of the meal.
The rest I would have enjoyed though.

They should all be ashamed of themselves and be trying their damnedest to make it up to you.

Tonight when you go you pay for your own meal . Don't pay for his . And don't cook for anybody in house at all.

Seriously. "You don't eat much anyways" ?!?!?!

Defensive selfish ass who knows he's in the wrong.

I wouldn't buy him food or cook for him for a long, long time. That is shockingly poor response to his selfish, thoughtless, mean behaviour. I would be so sad (on top of angry) if my husband and children treated me that way after all the things I do for them.

Hide his golf clubs and go out for the day tomorrow.

OP I wouldn't want to breathe the same air as a bloke who would do that to me.

I'd be just as disappointed that your DC didn't even miss you at table, or think to call you for some food. Maybe they take after their selfish father. Learned behaviour and all that...

I'm utterly stunned at his thoughtlessness...

Tbh I would be just as cross at my DH than at the teenage dcs if they were doing something like this.

It was wrong from all of them to not think about you and let you know lunch was ready.

I would have been furious.

He thought it was OK to cook a big lunch without offering some to everybody in the house at the time and he's arranged to spend his wedding anniversary playing golf (I'm assuming without OP?).

Does he consider you in anything? Or is this normal behaviour for him?

My H does have form for being selfish & thoughtless but even he would have asked me whether I wanted any food saving/brought up to me.

Right up to the point when you replayed his 'you don't eat much anyway' I was still hoping it might have been a misunderstanding, that they called you and you didn't hear. I still think someone should have been sent up to get you, but 'you don't is just horrible.

Do please institute the strike immediately, and let us know how it goes. All the best.

What an utter twat.

As for 'you don't eat lots anyway' And?!?!

chixkydoo dh the correct answer was 'I'm so sorry that I forgot to let you know about lunch. What can I prepare for you instead?'

I'd be just as disappointed that your DC didn't even miss you at table, or think to call you for some food. Maybe they take after their selfish father. Learned behaviour and all that...

This is very true - I'm pretty sure that any of my DCs (19, 15 & 5) would have asked "where's mum's?"

Also "you don't eat much anyway" is not a valid argument for saving you NO lunch at all.

Had he saved you a smaller portion that you might have liked, it could have been a valid argument - but not as justification for saving nothing at all.

What an utter shithead! I'd refuse to cook anything for him until he'd made up for being so selfish.

Thats awful!! i went full ballistic at my husband last week because he made himself crumpets and never made me any haha his excuse was that he thought i was asleep which is probably valid but i went ballistic anyway because when you smell food and expect food its v dissapointing when someone else eats all the food. Especially if they are supposed to love you and you always make them food. Again though the difference was that there were some crumpets left that i couldve cooked myself. And they only take a few mins. Its much more outrageous to cook an entire roast dinner and leave you out!! I dunno what id do if my husband did that......

What a git!

WHat about the kids? They should feeel ashamed of themselves too forgetting about mum!!

That's breathtakingly selfish. My DH can be a bit of a grump but would never leave me out of a meal.

I think a lot of the time us mums make martyrs of ourselves because we value the rest of the household above our own needs, we are natural carers.
Unfortunately in my experience this makes husband and kids see us as doormats who don't have any needs.
I think it's essential right from the word go to make sure you get the respect you deserve from everyone else in the house. And certainly to have non shouting conversations with everyone about food and to express what you expect from an anniversary i.e it's our anniversary next week and I'd like a day out/special dinner.
Left to their own devices men are selfish idiots who haven't got a clue and will do exactly as they like without bothering to consider anyone else.

Shocking. If, after this, he still chooses to go to golf tomorrow, if be seriously questioning the whole relationship. You deserve better - not just from your H, but also the DC.

Well you know what to do tomorrow don't you!! Go off out first thing and spend the entire day doing exactly whatever you like, eat out in the evening and buy treats for yourself and bring them home.