To completely ignore this massive hint?

[Nicpem1982]

Do not to drip feed dh and I don't have a close relationship with bil and sil.

We have fundamentally different views of parenting and there was some weirdness around gift giving on our dds bday and Christmas last year.

Not heard from them since Christmas Day again not unusual we generally hear from them at birthdays and Christmas and if we bump into each other at inlaws it's smiling nodding and being polite.

To try and formulate a bond between our dd and dn we've facilitated a few sleepovers at ours and tbh it was bloody awful dn is spiteful, destructive and generally a pain so after the last one we (dh and I) said no more.

Had text today from bil saying "dn would love to come yours to see dds room again as she had lots of fun last time" no hi how are u nothing

Dn is 4.5 and dd is 2.5 so they're not close in age last time she was here she pulled dds pigtails and made her cry, stamped on and broke a toy and ripped up the toy money from dds till. Dh was cooking and I was playing with them but she'd done all of them before I could stop her and then smirked at me after.

Aibu to ignore his text

God they're unbelievable. What does your dh say about it? Assuming it's his brother?

Good grief ! He's persistent . What are you going to say ?

"Yes, we are busy next Sunday, and all of half term week and have full weekends for the next few months" and leave it at that.

Don't engage any further.

That didn't take long.

You need a response that knocks all this on the head once and for all

"Please stop asking for DN to come round to our house. I am not available to babysit for you on Saturday, Sunday or at any other time in the foreseeable future. I will not be hosting DN for any sleepovers here. You need to make other arrangements. I will not respond to any further inquiries on this subject."

Omg haha. He's not raking the hint is he. Cheeky beggar

Offer up Sunday 11am to 1.30om, as the only free time you have.

I hate this crap, it really irks me when people dance around the subject.

We live in a holiday destination, and had an old friend of DH message to say he was think of coming camping in the summer at XYZ campsite, did we have any suggestions. A few back and forths. Moves quickly on to "oh, you have a caravan don't you? Could we borrow that instead of a tent? Might be easier with kids." We say sure, when? Skirts that, starts talking about not being able to tow it, oooh we haven't got a car, maybe we could hire one with a tow bar. Etc.

Dh rolls his eyes but still offers to drop can off and pick up after, asks for dates again.

Turns out he wants it for a month in the middle of summer. Dh says we use it so wouldn't want it gone for all that time, could he have it for less time. Friend comes back and says no, he needs somewhere for a month as he is moving flats and doesn't want to start the new lease either. He offers to come 2 days later so we could have it for a weekend, but they assume we have it kitted out so they wouldn't have to bring anything?

Dh sent a curt reply saying that friend really needed to be more upfront, he has no intention of camping here, wasn't coming on holiday, wasn't coming to see us and all the other stuff he had said...He wanted to use our van to save a few Bob and wanted us to deliver it, collect it and provide all equipment! So no.

Either repeat your previous text. Or 'no problem, pop over for coffee and cake about 2 so we can catch up while the girls play. We've plans in the evening'

I would just keep saying "no, sorry".

Aren't you with MIL on sunday?

"Will we see you at MIL's for lunch? If so, we will bring a couple of toys over with us for DN and DD to play with before lunch. Unfortunately we can't stay too late because we have plans in the afternoon"

Started today! One week off for half term, good luck avoiding them x

Tell you what, BIL, why don't you come and pick up DD's Christmas toys and take them home with you for her to play with on Sunday? Drop them back on Monday. Sound good?

Dh is away at the moment with work we will giggle over this later.

I'm going to tell them we're not available dh is going away Sunday night for work and we're not having a sleep over.

At this stage just reply "What is this fascination of your DD playing with my DD's toys? I'm not getting it. Oh and Sunday doesn't suit"

So they're asking about Sunday to Monday now?

They don't get the hint!

'Really sorry, things are a bit full on at the moment. We're not up to any sleepovers at ge moment.
As I said in my last text, we'll let you know when things are a bit quieter ie never'

Sorry that was half term started today for us in South uk!

Be ambiguous - don't give them reasons!!!

FFS he will never "get" your hints because he doesn't want to get them. Time to spell out that you are not their free babysitters and if they do want to come round they all stay for the duration.

Spare we're with mil this Sunday he means next Sunday so a week away

OP, in the nicest way, you're dragging it out and making it harder on yourself with your evasive answers.

Stop mentioning possible future occasions/promising to suggest dates. Just say 'No. DD didn't enjoy playing with DN last time; she's way too young for it, we've decided.'

Then I'd probably block his number.

I would ignore from now on I think. Cheeky pair of bastards that they are!

I really think you need to include that dd didn't enjoy it/was overwhelmed/didn't sleep well or something.
Say she's really possessive of her toys atm so soft play or park when weather is warmer would work a lot better for you.

Stop making excuses, just say no!

I would be really mean and actually not reply at all now. He's using you and i simply am not up for being used. I also wouldn't appreciate the way he's treating his and your DD. Let him try to work out your silence. His peremptory demands wouldn't wash with me.