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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To completely ignore this massive hint?

446 replies

Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 12:32

Do not to drip feed dh and I don't have a close relationship with bil and sil.

We have fundamentally different views of parenting and there was some weirdness around gift giving on our dds bday and Christmas last year.

Not heard from them since Christmas Day again not unusual we generally hear from them at birthdays and Christmas and if we bump into each other at inlaws it's smiling nodding and being polite.

To try and formulate a bond between our dd and dn we've facilitated a few sleepovers at ours and tbh it was bloody awful dn is spiteful, destructive and generally a pain so after the last one we (dh and I) said no more.

Had text today from bil saying "dn would love to come yours to see dds room again as she had lots of fun last time" no hi how are u nothing

Dn is 4.5 and dd is 2.5 so they're not close in age last time she was here she pulled dds pigtails and made her cry, stamped on and broke a toy and ripped up the toy money from dds till. Dh was cooking and I was playing with them but she'd done all of them before I could stop her and then smirked at me after.

Aibu to ignore his text

OP posts:
Msqueen33 · 10/02/2017 16:43

After the pink cock parking thread I need another ongoing funny thread. I'm hoping this is it.

IMissGrannyW · 10/02/2017 16:48

it's a bit early AGirlsNameIsAryaStark . But perhaps, as it's nearly half term, just a small one. That glass please. No, not that one, the big one behind it. Do you have nibbles?

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 16:53

"Well if that's how you feel maybe the girls shouldn't have a relationship after all. We won't be buying our dd those toys she has plenty already so please do not feel the need to buy any for her birthday."

Oops

OP posts:
Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 16:53

In laws have friends around for dinner tomorrow

OP posts:
HeeHighls · 10/02/2017 16:54

witsender Fri 10-Feb-17 15:54:10
I hate this crap, it really irks me when people dance around the subject.

Me too witsender. I think of it as" batting". I ask my daughter if she want's to meet for coffee at x? She replies that the deli's not called that anymore and that's the off. Batting back and forth until I give in five emails on from my end with no yes or no.

TheMythOfFingerprints · 10/02/2017 16:54

"Ok"

dustarr73 · 10/02/2017 16:55

They didnt have a relationship,i think you are better off wihtout them in your lives.Especially as Sil doesnt even have the decency to make small talk.What a rude entitled cow she sounds.

HecateAntaia · 10/02/2017 16:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LowDudgeon · 10/02/2017 16:57

He's trying to guilt you into saying yes now.

Stay strong!

comingintomyown · 10/02/2017 16:58

Absolutely mad , obviously annoyed you aren't going to budge !

NewPuppyMum · 10/02/2017 16:58

Wow!

Strokethefurrywall · 10/02/2017 17:00

"Oh good, I don't feel the need at all. Now bugger off, good day to you."

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 10/02/2017 17:02

I would be tempted to go back and say something like "Yes to a relationship but no to sleepovers. My DD is old enough for the former but not ready for the latter."

IMissGrannyW · 10/02/2017 17:03

Wow. Am I right that this is in response to:
We're busy next Sunday as dh is leaving on Sunday night for work so we're having a quiet family weekend. Dd and I are going on a mummy daughter date day on the Monday as it's half term and we want a quality day alone as we're so busy in term time with forest school and trampolining.
Dh and I don't think sleep overs are a good idea as dd has become very distracted at bed time and adding another person into the mix could be a recipe for disaster.
The toys ur dd liked were timone and pumba, belle and dds dressing up tutu. You may want to pick them up from the Disney store as this sleeping issue with our dd could be in for a while.
See you soon

Because if so, that's one almighty big jump he's made there.

It's PA, because you're 100% sure this isn't what they want, but how about "oh no, BIL, you've misunderstood me... the problem is DD at BEDTIME, we love DN and DD to have a relationship. Why don't we meet at together on xxx date? It would be good to have a catchup with you too.

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 10/02/2017 17:03

"It's a shame that's how you feel but I'm not going to try and change your mind"

OP posts:
Topseyt · 10/02/2017 17:03

Ha, I would just reply with "That's fine by me" and leave it at that.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 10/02/2017 17:04

Wow. So the only way they can have a relationship is if you're their babysitter?

No big loss.

SapphireStrange · 10/02/2017 17:05

Toys out of pram, big time.

I wouldn't have replied at all.

Fluffycloudland77 · 10/02/2017 17:06

Well that didn't take long to go pear shaped did it?.

Is your bil 12?

Blatherskite · 10/02/2017 17:07

It's BiL who needs new toys to replace the ones he's just chucked out of his pram!

GallivantingWildebeest · 10/02/2017 17:07

God, your SIL sounds poisonous. And your BIL sounds like a stroppy kid. What fun. Not.

Is it really worth trying to foster a relationship with them??

Fluffycloudland77 · 10/02/2017 17:08

I wouldn't text back now, it would drive him nuts.

MadMags · 10/02/2017 17:09

HA! Good for you, OP!

JennyWoodentop · 10/02/2017 17:10

"Well if that's how you feel maybe the girls shouldn't have a relationship after all. We won't be buying our dd those toys she has plenty already so please do not feel the need to buy any for her birthday."

OK, thanks, good to know. Happy to respect your choice.

EssentialHummus · 10/02/2017 17:11

Blimey, your BIL's response is wildly disproportionate. Well done OP. Gin

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