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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this parent is really grabby?

320 replies

MintLeafTea · 10/02/2017 11:53

NC (is that you UCM) red rug/Titania/clay of cock.

My ds go to a local scout group. They run loads of events. Another parent used to go in and help out and she'd take photos for the newsletters and social media. She also used to e mail us digital photos.

She still helps out but in the newsletter there is a link and she is now selling all her photos.

AIBU to think she's only doing this to boost her business and I should tell her I want my children exempt from having their photos taken unless I can have copies (in lieu of modelling fees)

OP posts:
Whitney168 · 10/02/2017 15:35

any idiot can take a photo if you have all the right equipment

Buy a posh camera and see how that goes for you ... so not true!

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 10/02/2017 15:36

I thought it was to offer your time for free, help enrich lives, use your skills and time for the organization

She has done all that, and continues to do so. All she is doing now is no longer giving even MORE away for free, that has nothing to do with the volunteer work she does.

budgiegirl · 10/02/2017 15:43

Not everything is a money making opportunity

True, but maybe it came about because she was asked by parents for copies of the photos she took. She is volunteering, she does provide photos to the scout group. Maybe she got so fed up with parents asking for freebie copies that she decided to charge for those. Either way she probably can't win. If she decided to stop providing photos for the parents, and just give them to the scout group, I expect quite a few parents would have had a grumble about that as well.

It's interesting that according to the OP, there is a link in the scout newsletter, so presumably the scouts are aware she is doing this.

EmeraldScorn · 10/02/2017 15:44

I don't think anyone involved in a voluntary capacity should be allowed to make a profit on the back of that particular role, however I wouldn't have a problem personally paying for photographs.

I can see why the lines may have become blurred with this one though; If the photographer was initially involved on the basis of not receiving monetary reward ie; a volunteer, then any amendments to their role should have been made official by the organisation itself and by the sounds of it that's not the case, so it's understandable why there's confusion.

It's not fair to name call the OP in my opinion - She's raising a valid point in relation to querying why someone who was previously volunteering is now in essence being paid for what they used to do for free, it's not wrong or indicative of bad character to seek to clarify a situation, it really is OK to want to know the "why's".

I do some volunteering myself and I wouldn't dream of integrating my professional life alongside what I do without charge for a community group; In the world of paid work I charge for my time but as a volunteer I bring/give my skills for free, isn't that the point of volunteering?

Treeroot · 10/02/2017 15:55

You come across as being very jealous of this woman.

dowhatnow · 10/02/2017 16:00

Talk to the leaders. I don't think she should be making a profit but OTOH I can see why she's fed up of always being requested to take photo's. The other parents might be off with you if that stops. Is it worth it for the kids sakes?

carefreeeee · 10/02/2017 16:04

YABU. I think you are being grabby yourself!

If you were happy for her to take the photos for free you can hardly complain about confidentiality etc, unless she is selling them elsewhere for profit which it doesn't sound like.

If you don't want them, just don't pay. It's no different to a school photographer. You are lucky that you had them for free for so long.

9GreenBottles · 10/02/2017 16:05

"They run loads of events." So she volunteers at lots of events for this group?

"Also when they do inhouse activities or get awards she takes photos and also gives images to the leader for social media." And she also GIVES to the group.

But you think she should give even more? Perhaps the charge has been introduced to dissuade people like you from taking further advantage of this woman's generous contribution!

BantyCustards · 10/02/2017 16:05

maybe I will buy a posh cancer and do the same

Yes, decent quality images are all about the 'posh* camera 👌

OP

You got free images from someone's time. She's now decided she cannot afford the free time. If you don't want to but, then don't. If you want to withdraw consent for images to be taken then do - but you look rather petty.

If you want free images of your child at events then turn up and take them yourself.

BantyCustards · 10/02/2017 16:07

*camera

PuppyMonkey · 10/02/2017 16:07

(If the group is putting the pix on social media just nick them from there OPWink)

BantyCustards · 10/02/2017 16:10

And if the photographer has any sense and has decided to withdraw her time providing free photos to parents that decide not to turn up but want someone else to do the donkey work for free she will be wartsrmarkjnv the HECK out of any photographs released to the group for use in their website/social media - as she should.

harleysmammy · 10/02/2017 16:12

If she's putting photos of your kid out there for other people to see but wants you to pay for the photo then you absolutely have every right to say unless i get the photos without having to pay, dont take photos of my kid. Even if she didnt expect payment from you, you still have every right to say dont take photos of my kid, he's your child after all and no one has the right to do anything you dont want them to do with your child. X

AuntNancy · 10/02/2017 16:15

'I'm a professional photographer, and volunteer for a scout group where I have always taken photographs of events, for use by the group on their website and other social media. Over the years, parents have asked me for copies and I've been happy to let them have them, even though it's time-consuming to upload/edit, etc, and some parents seem to think that digital photos should be free because they're, like, the same as they've got on their own smartphone. Dealing with my paid-for work eats up enough time and this extra stuff for parents is starting to take over. I'd really like to call a halt to all this but don't want the scout group, or the parents who don't take the piss, to miss out.'

'YANBU. Why don't you dissuade the grabby freeloaders by printing the photos and charging a nominal amount, so they feel they're getting 'something' for the money? It should weed out the pisstakers, and still give parents who are happy to pay for a professional photo of their child the chance to do so at a much reduced cost.'

User006point5 · 10/02/2017 16:40

Bit off topic but I've wasted spent literally years on MN under various usernames and I have absolutely no idea what 'red rug/Titania/clay of cock' is all about.
Hah hah, me too! Where was the penis beaker???

Notso · 10/02/2017 16:47

As long as she isn't using the photographs to make money by selling them to magazines etc and that you could go to Scouts and take photographs of your kids yourself if you wished I don't see the problem.

AuntNancy · 10/02/2017 16:49

User006point5 I know - maybe someone less charitable would wonder whether they were just the first three random phrases a Friday afternoon GF might come up with before launching a pearl-clutcher and then declaring it was all too, too viperish and flouncing off.

MammyNeedsASpaDay · 10/02/2017 16:50

I'm sorry but your comments are awful. The only person that sounds grabby here is you!

"I'm going to email her and say I want them free or ill withdraw consent"

Pot....kettle?!

WyfOfBathe · 10/02/2017 16:52

As a Guide leader, I wouldn't be happy for a professional to use my groups to make money on a regular basis - whether they're a photographer, or a face painter, or whatever. I mean, I'm a teacher so I get paid all day to supervise/teach groups of children, but I'm not charging to do so when I'm at Brownies/Guides. I also don't really see the need to get professional photos of DC at normal meetings, and I would rather the DC didn't have the distraction of a camera. if they were doing something amazing or unusual then a few snaps would be nice, but personally I still wouldn't feel the need for professional quality photos.

However, there obviously is a demand for them if parents are asking for her to take photos, so there's obviously a conflict between you want and what they want. I would speak to the Scout unit (troop?) leader if I were you and raise your concerns in the first instance rather than talking to the other mum.

pinkish · 10/02/2017 16:52

I'd be happy to pay for a pic of my kid at an event tbh

Chelazla · 10/02/2017 17:01

Wy the op admits parents have asked the photographer mum to be there

SalmonFajitas · 10/02/2017 17:07

Wyf I kind of know what you mean but I would actually love to have a few photos of DC when they are at school or clubs l just playing normally. Especially if it was someone who normally helps out so they probably wouldn't be so distracted by the stranger with the camera.

misshelena · 10/02/2017 17:20

I bet they'll put your DCs at the special table reserved to those without photo consent. I am sure your DCs will be admired by everyone for being so special, like their mom.

Sounds like you are super talented at photography too. Go ahead and drop the $3K for the camera equipment!

ElderDruid · 10/02/2017 17:26

Modelling fees? Is this serious? If you have signed saying my children can be photographed, if you see a particularly nice photograph you want a copy of, say end of year photo, then yes you have to pay, I really hope she is watermarking them. She is doing this off her own back, why shouldn't she apply a reasonable charge?

When it comes to school photos you don't say to the company, well actually my child modelled for you, so I'm charging you £10, which you can apply as a discount, that's just stupid.

Robstersgirl · 10/02/2017 17:32

Maybe she's turned down paid work to photograph the group? If you want photos, pay, don't make it difficult for her.