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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this parent is really grabby?

320 replies

MintLeafTea · 10/02/2017 11:53

NC (is that you UCM) red rug/Titania/clay of cock.

My ds go to a local scout group. They run loads of events. Another parent used to go in and help out and she'd take photos for the newsletters and social media. She also used to e mail us digital photos.

She still helps out but in the newsletter there is a link and she is now selling all her photos.

AIBU to think she's only doing this to boost her business and I should tell her I want my children exempt from having their photos taken unless I can have copies (in lieu of modelling fees)

OP posts:
Excited101 · 10/02/2017 20:51

What a nasty and spiteful thing to do op. Shame on you.

Original poster
MintLeafTea · 10/02/2017 20:53

excited
Ok for her to have a sideline but not me?

I disagree with you.

OP posts:
witsender · 10/02/2017 20:59

What a dick.

Chloe84 · 10/02/2017 20:59

Hopefully they'll tell you where to stick your camera, OP.

GinIsIn · 10/02/2017 21:04

I'm sorry - have we missed the part where you've been volunteering your time and professional experience for free, and giving freebies to all the other parents up to this point?

Amaried · 10/02/2017 21:07

hilarious
You'll give all the Normal people a good laugh.. please please make sure and advertise your services!!

Gooseygoosey12345 · 10/02/2017 21:16

So you don't think she should be paid for her time or the cost of her equipment Hmm right...

shinynewusername · 10/02/2017 21:30

Your DC are now going to miss out on being in all the group photos. You know - the ones the other mother still does for free for the scouts. No photos of them if they win badges or a competition. No thrill of being in the local paper. All so their spiteful DM can make her point. Nice.

Celaena · 10/02/2017 21:32

brasy how hard is it to hold a camera still and take a photo?

off you go then... oh hang on, you cant as you dont have the equipment!

What a bitch helping out the scouts in the her own time?

twattymctwatterson · 10/02/2017 21:33

Given that the other parents are happy with the arrangement basically you will get a reputation for being difficult and unpleasant and your kids will have to step aside when group photos are taken because their mother has stamped her feet about no longer receiving a freebie. It'll only backfire on you op but crack on

User006point5 · 10/02/2017 21:37

Please can you update with any further developments Grin

BoomBoomsCousin · 10/02/2017 21:52

misshelena once a parent has bought a photo the group has no control over what happens to them, hence why children who are at risk in some capacities need to be kept out of the photos in the first place. So yes, having a separate table for children whose parents do not allow photos to be taken would be discriminating against them and Othering them. It would be a horrible way to treat children, especially if they heard infantile and callous adults sneering about them "being so special".

Also, unless there is a very robust contract in place, there's no way for the scout troop to enforce the idea that a professional photographer couldn't then go on to sell those photos to whoever she wanted, not just parents, or to use them to advertise her business. I would assume that someone who is volunteering for the scouts would behave reasonably, but from a safeguarding perspective, it would be worrying, especially if there was any falling out down the line. This is true if she's taking photos in a non-professional capacity too, but then there isn't a financial incentive to exploit the images.

BantyCustards · 10/02/2017 23:01

Any professional photographer worth their salt will have signed consent from photographic subjects (or their guardians) to use the images to promote their business - Boom.

Permanentlyexhausted · 10/02/2017 23:14

I've sent an e mail saying I'd rather the children were withdrawn and I'd also like to come with my big camera to take my own photos the other parents are welcome to any I take. Free of charge of course.

Either your children cannot have their photos taken at Scouts or they can. Your plan is doomed to fail.

GatoradeMeBitch · 10/02/2017 23:16

This thread really sums up the phrase "no good deed goes unpunished". This professional photographer not only volunteers at your dc's scout group but also gave you free professional quality photos for a time Now she has stopped offering them free of charge you basically want to hound her out of the place. If you want to buy a camera and take pictures of your dc's, great! But not at their scout group - someone else takes pictures there, an actual volunteer. Please think of your children and don't be a twat.

Ladybirdbookworm · 10/02/2017 23:56

Are you a bit dim ????

Or are you just down right greedy ?

I pity you

joangray38 · 11/02/2017 00:03

Would you be allowed to go and hang around and take pictures without having dbs checks? Wouldn't it look a bit odd that you are just stood there like a spare part with your BIG camera whilst everyone else is looking after the children, you know volunteering.

PenelopeFlintstone · 11/02/2017 00:04

I didn't say the photos are rubbish. They are very good. I just don't want to pay when I've had them for free.
Of course you don't. No-one would. But that option is gone now so take your own or pay the fee if you love the photo.
Simple!
I don't think it's grabby - we all need to make a living.

AGinForEachMakesThree · 11/02/2017 00:08

Troll or twat. That is the question...

tillytown · 11/02/2017 00:10

Don't go wasting your money on a camera until you have passed your DBS check.
And will you also be volunteering whilst you take photos?

Excited101 · 11/02/2017 00:13

It's not a sideline for her, it's a profession! What's your experience within the photography industry op? That's right, nothing!

Perhaps you could have a sideline in being a PITA, you seem pretty professional at it...

The only ones losing out here are your kids, but hey, it's worth it to make a point isn't it...?

seven201 · 11/02/2017 00:21

Yabb (bonkers). I had some sympathy when I read your first post but then you start going on about how easy it is to take a photo. She will have spent a lot of money on that equipment and emailing them around in her free time. £10 for a professional photo is a bargain.

DioneTheDiabolist · 11/02/2017 00:23

Let us know how you get on OP.

OptimisticSix · 11/02/2017 00:24

I would be disappointed ànd probably withdraw photo permission purely because I have too many childrenched to be able to afford to buy photos of them all and there's nothing worse than the temptation of a lovely photo when you can't really afford it.... I could probably afford a lovely family holI day with the what Ive spent on photos in the last few years which is why I'm quite resolute this year on not doing that again. .. probably... that said this parent is entirely within her rights to charge and you're entirely within yours not to buy them and to take your own.

KarenPeralta · 11/02/2017 00:34

So you were withdrawing from the thread... Yet as soon as someone posted agreeing with you, you were straight back in? Yup.

You sound so bloody petty and bitter. You got lots of free photos of your children (which you state were very good). Lovely. You have some good photos of your children that you wouldn't otherwise have. That's nice, isn't it? So you won't get them any longer. It's not the end of the world. The other parents clearly want this person to keep taking the photos, and are happy to pay for them, why are you so determined to spoil that for them?

Also, why the name change? You're clearly very confident that you're right. So why wouldn't you post this under your usual username?

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