Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this parent is really grabby?

320 replies

MintLeafTea · 10/02/2017 11:53

NC (is that you UCM) red rug/Titania/clay of cock.

My ds go to a local scout group. They run loads of events. Another parent used to go in and help out and she'd take photos for the newsletters and social media. She also used to e mail us digital photos.

She still helps out but in the newsletter there is a link and she is now selling all her photos.

AIBU to think she's only doing this to boost her business and I should tell her I want my children exempt from having their photos taken unless I can have copies (in lieu of modelling fees)

OP posts:
budgiegirl · 10/02/2017 12:49

Nah, too goady

I agree, surely no-one is this grabby and unreasonable?

Ellisandra · 10/02/2017 12:50

Love this thread, it's so neat that the one accusing the other of grabbiness in actually the grabby one Grin

PMSL.

Off you go and buy an eco maybe camera and a variety lenses dearie. And if you're thinking "why separate lenses", then that's clue number 1 why you don't know what you're talking about and couldn't just take a good photo.

So you know how to adjust your aperture to compensate for low level light conditions? Mmmmm. Thought not.

Also PMSL at your children "modelling".

BaronessEllaSaturday · 10/02/2017 12:50

I just don't want to pay when I've had them for free.

I think a certain parent is very entitled and grabby

Original poster
MintLeafTea · 10/02/2017 12:50

Thank you TheFlyingFauxPas
Agree.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 10/02/2017 12:50

Of course your dc will be excluded. Group photos, all jump in the air and say yay, except you two.

PoorYorick · 10/02/2017 12:51

I can't believe you're going to put your kids through that just to spite a woman who won't do skilled professional work for you for free.

cantkeepawayforever · 10/02/2017 12:51

So if you were at a wedding, and the photographer took a photograph with you + your children in, you would be annoyed not to get a copy of the picture for free?

Or if a newspaper photographer came into school, and took a picture of your children that ended up being in the paper, you would expect a free copy of the picture or of the paper?

It sounds to me like you are just being spiteful because you used to get something that was valuable to you free, and you don't want to pay its value. Not nice.

Chloe84 · 10/02/2017 12:52

I will ask for the permission to be revoked and will tell them I do NOT expect my dc to be excluded from any activities as a result.

Why don't you volunteer for the group and stop freeloading in the group and expecting free pictures to boot.

Atenco · 10/02/2017 12:52

I'm sorry, OP, I'm just so annoyed at your "how hard is it to hold a camera" comment.

This woman is not being grabby, she is trying to make a living. She has an expensive camera, she probably studied photography and you were happy for her to send you free photos. Now you are on your high horse because she is trying to make a living as a photographer.

mygorgeousmilo · 10/02/2017 12:53

Oh wow.... a classic case of pot & kettle. You are the grabby one. YOU. Nobody is forcing you to buy them. The reason that you yourself are not a professional photographer is because you haven't done the training and bought the equipment, have you? If you think any 'idiot' can do it, then what's stopping you?

PuppyMonkey · 10/02/2017 12:53

Tbh I do think the photographer is being slightly out of line here. Yes she's a professional giving her time and I can imagine it turns into a pain in the arse emailing pictures , I bet it takes up a lot if time etc etc. But it does seem she's got a nice little earner going on now, instant access to events and a captive audience who'll pay for the shots. Hmmm.

And it doesn't seem to fit in with the ethos of Scouts as a nice community thing run by volunteers.

I'm a freelance writer and have occasionally written press releases etc for similar groups. I couldnt imagine charging my hourly rate for my services.

If it's such a pain, the photographer could always just not do it.

trinketsofgold · 10/02/2017 12:53

op is just a massive grabby cunt

I believe in karma for people like you OP

LoudBatPerson · 10/02/2017 12:54

TheFlyingFauxPas -

From what I have understood the photographer is still giving the photographs to the Scouts group for there bits and pieces, hwoever is no longer sorting, editing and preparing the photos for individual parents without charge.

The time she donates to the Scouts groups and the photos for them are still free.

Costacoffeeplease · 10/02/2017 12:55

I'll just email her and say I want free photos or I will withdraw.

Wow, you sound lovely op Hmm

Original poster
MintLeafTea · 10/02/2017 12:55

Thank you Puppy here,here.

See, you wouldn't dream of charging. What would happen if you did? Would you be asked not to write anymore? I'll bet.

OP posts:
Haffdonga · 10/02/2017 12:57

It's her business. That's how businesses work. Somebody does something or makes something and you choose whether you want to buy it. Your free choice. Just because she did it for free when she was learning the skill doesn't mean that now she's setting up as self employed she has to do it for free for you for evermore. Confused

I can't understand why you'd sign a form to say you're happy for your ds to be photographed and now rescind that permission just because you want the photos free, Do you not pay for school photos if you like them?

Who really benefits here from withdrawing permission? Certainly not your ds it seems. If there was a security threat to having your ds photographed it would be completely different but is itreally in your son's best interest to put him in a situation where he will have to be pulled put of the group when group shots are being taken or being singled out when the dcs are in general activities as 'the one who needs to be kept at the back'.

Think through what you are hoping to achieve here.

PuppyMonkey · 10/02/2017 12:58

If it looked like it was going to become so regular that it would take up loads of my time, I'd probably just say I couldn't commit to it.

Trifleorbust · 10/02/2017 12:59

Of course your DC will be excluded if she is taking photos of children doing an activity and you don't want her to take photos of yours. She isn't doing anything wrong!

Ftlofg · 10/02/2017 13:00

I didn't say the photos are rubbish. They are very good. I just don't want to pay when I've had them for free. Yh, there is deffo a grabby parent here but its not the photographer. You are annoyed because you got something for free (which she could have charged you for) and now she has asked you to pay a nominal sum you are pissed. Grabby as fuck.

PoorYorick · 10/02/2017 13:00

But it does seem she's got a nice little earner going on now, instant access to events and a captive audience who'll pay for the shots. Hmmm.

Actually pissing myself. How do you think freelance professionals make a living? By seeking out situations where they can't use their skills and nobody wants to buy?

Needtofiddle · 10/02/2017 13:00

I can beat this. Dc1 was invited to a birthday party - they were all 4. A friend of the parents was taking photos. It wasn't anything special or particularly exciting - just a normal party. Afterwards we were all emailed the link to purchase them.

I used to take photos at friend's parties. I would load them up to photobox for parents to access (this was before Dropbox) or send them copies if they asked. I thought it was astonishingly vulgar.

NeepNeepNeep · 10/02/2017 13:03

YABU. I think it's about 97℅ YABU and 3℅ YANBU. Has that answered your OP?

NeepNeepNeep · 10/02/2017 13:04

Are you a professional photographer Needtofiddle?

Quartz2208 · 10/02/2017 13:04

Ok so basically she started doing something nice, taking photos for free using her professional expertise and equipment. Then rather being grateful for this the parents started asking her more and more. Presumably there was a tipping point where this starting impact on the time she had for her paid work. So she starting charging you (and did say that she would have to start doing that).

You now are upset at this and want to withdraw permission for her to take photos and are asking if she is the grabby one. No you are the petty and grabby one.

My advice don't remove your permission that you makes you seem petty and grabby. Dont buy the photos if you dont want them you dont have to. Take you own photos of your children. There it really is that simple

cantkeepawayforever · 10/02/2017 13:05

I think there is a question that could be asked of all parents by the Scout group, as to whether all parents are happy for this person to be taking photographs on lots of different occasions.

Schools, playgroups, other activities do have specific 'photograph occasions', not all the time, so it could be that the group decides that this helper should be allowed to take and sell photographs for specific events only, not normal meetings.

Swipe left for the next trending thread