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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this parent is really grabby?

320 replies

MintLeafTea · 10/02/2017 11:53

NC (is that you UCM) red rug/Titania/clay of cock.

My ds go to a local scout group. They run loads of events. Another parent used to go in and help out and she'd take photos for the newsletters and social media. She also used to e mail us digital photos.

She still helps out but in the newsletter there is a link and she is now selling all her photos.

AIBU to think she's only doing this to boost her business and I should tell her I want my children exempt from having their photos taken unless I can have copies (in lieu of modelling fees)

OP posts:
TheFlyingFauxPas · 10/02/2017 13:08

I think a lot of the sniffy rude response on here are from parents who do not realise how much these these groups depend on the voluntary hard work and good will from a few dedicated helpers. Are they the ones that complain, yet again , if for example, their poor poor little one has had to wait in line for much much too long to see a poor overworked voluntarily roped in Santa?? Those who, invited time.e and time again never offer to help out and think these events happen by magic and are not down to a few dedicated few. Examples of cake, tea etc work exactly the same. You cannot simply turn up at a scout event selling your own bloody fairy cakes and pocketing your takings. You don't turn up selling your own bloody tea and keep that money. I often take pictures at scout events. I email them to parents if asked. Put them on our closed fb group for all to see. Wouldn't dream of taking for my time.

Lifegavemelemons · 10/02/2017 13:08

Having a family member who is a photographer I am well aware of the cost of the equipment, the skill needed, and the cost of good quality photographic paper for printing out. Wanting good quality, well composed, images of your children for free is being grabby imo.

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 10/02/2017 13:09

Yes they are nice but any idiot can take a photo if you have all the right equipment

Really? Lost any small bit of sympathy for you right there. Hmm

SaucyJack · 10/02/2017 13:09

"How do you think freelance professionals make a living?"

Well, not like this. They advertise for prospective customers, and then do work for people who've actively chosen to be photographed with the intention of buying the pics afterwards.

My SIL is a photographer. She doesn't take photos of randoms in Tesco, then try to sell them to them afterwards- which is what this woman is doing.

I'm not agreeing with the OP in that I wouldn't be expecting the pics for free- but I would be pretty pissed that someone is using my DD's participation in a youth club as a business opportunity without my consent or agreement.

SomethingBorrowed · 10/02/2017 13:09

Well don't buy the photos then!
Just because she did it for free doesn't mean she has to continue.

You sound bitter... instead of thanking her for providing you with free photos in the past you sound like you want to be obstructive...

Needtofiddle · 10/02/2017 13:09

However now I have rtft I think you are being grabby. She gave this service voluntarily for ages. Her photos are very good. She has now chosen to charge but you seem to think you are entitled to free copies. I think you should stop being grabby and dismissive. It is far more than just having the right camera.

Maybe scouts gets a cut if her profit so it benefits them too. Or maybe she was fed up with being taken for granted by spoilt parents.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 10/02/2017 13:09

Do you have many friends OP?

kitkatchunkymonkey · 10/02/2017 13:10

Ok then be an idiot and get a nice camera and take your own if it's so easy Hmm

You sound really petulant.

She has decided she no longer wants to provide free photography and that's fine.

You could tell her not to photograph your kids, or you could just not buy the photos.

PoorYorick · 10/02/2017 13:11

The Scout leader can ask the parent to stop photographing if she objects to it. The parent would likely stop snapping at all if that happens. Which is fine. Nobody is obliged to work for free.

TinselTwins · 10/02/2017 13:12

So a now professional photographer is doing your troupe a freebee, and you don't want her to credit her buisness? It is TOTALLY NORMAL for a business who donates to be credited! She is now a business and she's still giving her time.

Good luck with that. Hope you like having all your volunteers go "fuck this, I'll help at brownies instead" and you'll be back here in a few months whinging that parents never help out...

GinIsIn · 10/02/2017 13:13

SaucyJack except the other parents have been particularly asking the photographer to attend and take photos. So not the same at all.

shinynewusername · 10/02/2017 13:13

So basically she gives up her time for free to help the group and, until recently, she also gave the parents free photos. You give the group nothing, but you feel she is grabby? Hmm

Tell you what, OP, why don't you give up time to help the group and use your professional expertise (if you have any) to benefit parents for free for as long as she has. Then tell us whether you think SBU.

It is always people who do nothing for other people who are critical of those who do. No wonder no one in their right mind wants to run a youth group these days.

Resurgam2016 · 10/02/2017 13:13

I have no idea what your job is OP but would you do it for free forever?

DontTouchTheMoustache · 10/02/2017 13:14

The reason you are angry is because you aren't getting them for free anymore so they obviously must have been very good for you to care so much (otherwise you would just take your own). She is still volunteering her time as she is not being paid to attend but if you choose to have a copy of the pictures you need to pay, I find that totally reasonable. You can still look.at the pictures for free on the website.
I'm assuming she is self employed so her giving her time for free is time she could be earning money, she still has to make a living. You don't know if she is giving that money back to the club either. If you don't like it don't buy it.

Trifleorbust · 10/02/2017 13:15

Read all the comments and now I think you sound awful - really nasty. You don't have to have her pictures. You lose nothing by her not sending them for free that you weren't getting as a favour before. And why should she do you a favour?

Original poster
MintLeafTea · 10/02/2017 13:16

You know nothing about me- I'm about as far removed from grabby as one can be. I used to regularly give all my time for nothing at events and clubs. I certainly didn't tell them they'd have to pay a fee for my services Hmm

OP posts:
GinIsIn · 10/02/2017 13:17

We know that you are throwing a massive temper tantrum about not getting something for free anymore - how exactly is that far away from grabby? Hmm

Chelazla · 10/02/2017 13:17

The scouts don't people who want a pic of their kids do how hard is that to understand?

PuppyMonkey · 10/02/2017 13:20

"How do you think freelance professionals make a living?"

Hmm I can't think as I've only been doing it the best part of 27 years. Grin

Probably not by exploring a situation like this I'm guessing.

Actually PMSL right back at ya.

Needtofiddle · 10/02/2017 13:21

Actually Chelaza - that is very hard to understand

TheSpottedZebra · 10/02/2017 13:21

She did tell us she was going to have to charge when she kept being asked by other parents to bring her camera in. I didn't think the other parents were going to pay.

she's there anyway and takes them while she is there.

So she attends as a volunteer, but other patents have ASKED her to also take pics. And then sort them, upload them etc. She was asked to take the pictures! She didn't want to.

BaronessEllaSaturday · 10/02/2017 13:21

She isn't making the scouts pay for her service just telling parents that if they want copies then they can purchase them at a reduced rate.

PoorYorick · 10/02/2017 13:21

Well, not like this. They advertise for prospective customers, and then do work for people who've actively chosen to be photographed with the intention of buying the pics afterwards.

That's called a private commission and it is only one way in which professional photographers earn money. Freelancers, especially creatives, generally need to be a bit more proactive and imaginative to make a living.

My SIL is a photographer. She doesn't take photos of randoms in Tesco, then try to sell them to them afterwards- which is what this woman is doing.

A photographer recently attended my baby swim class. I decided not to purchase the photos but I've got no objection to the offer. Also, if your sister is a photographer, she might well be interested in streetscapes and city scenes and selling the prints.

I'm not agreeing with the OP in that I wouldn't be expecting the pics for free- but I would be pretty pissed that someone is using my DD's participation in a youth club as a business opportunity without my consent or agreement.

I guess this outrage doesn't extend to the businesses that hire out halls, equipment or recreational activities for youth clubs to operate?

Resurgam2016 · 10/02/2017 13:22

On a serious note this can be a real issue for the self employed. People say Oh 'you do that Resurgam' can you do that to help X community group/event. Of course you say yes.

But there comes a time when this is eating into the time you should spend being paid doing the same thing and you have to decide whether you can a) carry on and take the hit b) find a compromise which still helps the community group/event but means you start to recoup something (in this case the Scout group still get the images for their SM free I think) or c) just stop

Seems to me that this woman has made a good call and is hurting no one but those grabby ones who expect things for free.

MySordidCakeSecret · 10/02/2017 13:22

You're being ridiculous op. Photography is very complex when it's done properly, and then factor in the after editing etc. It's time consuming and requires skill. yabvu.

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