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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To potentially get our postman fired

289 replies

Bearsinmotion · 08/02/2017 21:11

DP is a camera geek. On the weekend he bought a camera trap for catching wildlife in the garden. He wanted to test it out so set it up by the front door so he could test it by the kids going in and out. It's been there since Sunday.

So this evening he had a look at the footage with DD(5). There's us, there's the cat, there's the postman. Oh look, there's the postman having a piss against our garden wall Shock.

Our door is round the side of the house, so out of sight from the road. There's the door, the path next to the house, a small patch of grass and the neighbours wall. He literally posted a letter, turned round, knob out, pissed all over the grass and wall. Knob away, off to post more letters, obviously without washing his hands. Envy

It was done so casually it's hard to believe he's not done it before. On the plus side, he posted our letters first so that won't be covered in piss Grin. But seriously, who would do that?!

Thing is, we're in a village where everyone knows each other, and he's been the postie for years. But IANBU to report him and potentially get him sacked am I?! I have a slight pricking of my conscience if he did lose his job, but surely that's his problem, not mine?!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bearsinmotion · 08/02/2017 22:47

needastrongone did you miss the bit where I said I was off to write a note? I have just pointed out that it wasn't his only option and I think it's grim, especially right by the door where the kids hang out. I can't talk to him because I never see him.

The point of posting in AIBU is to get alternative points of view and not just act on my gut instinct, which yes, was to report him and let his employer decide the consequences. But having read the posts on here I will write a note, as I said. I still think it's grim, I still think it is unnecessary and I don't want it to happen again, but a note should be enough.

OP posts:
corythatwas · 08/02/2017 22:49

5OBalesofHay Wed 08-Feb-17 22:26:56
"If you were bursting (really really butsting) where would be ok?"

Surely a tree or a hedge which does not belong to somebody's private living space? Human pee has a very strong smell- in a small enclosed space it will stink. Have you ever waited in a bus stop where somebody has relieved themselves? It reeks. And it the neighbour's wall was a low one, they might even want to sit on it, in which case they'd get covered with pee. A male human is going to produce a good deal more wee than any animal likely to visit a UK garden and it has a particularly obnoxious smell.

LeninaCrowne · 08/02/2017 22:53

Why not have a quiet diplomatic word with him. No need to go in guns blazing to the sorting office and lose him his job.
he's probably got a very tight schedule to keep / being tracked etc.

TheFairyCaravan · 08/02/2017 22:53

I wouldn't be pleased about it but I couldn't report him because if he got sacked I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

The lady who delivered my shopping from Tesco a couple of weeks ago was almost doing the wee dance. I let her use my toilet, she told me they aren't really supposed to ask. Where the fuck they're meant to go is beyond me.

5OBalesofHay · 08/02/2017 22:54

So on your time monitored low paid job around the residential streets where would you have a piss if desperate? Poor sod just probably couldn't wait any longer

ghostspirit · 08/02/2017 22:54

I really hope you don't report him op. If he did lose his job. That could lead to him not being able to pay his bills he could loose his home...his child's home

anxious2017 · 08/02/2017 22:57

Sorry, I'd be fuming and would have already emailed the footage to Royal Mail.

Original poster
Bearsinmotion · 08/02/2017 22:58

So on your time monitored low paid job around the residential streets where would you have a piss if desperate? Poor sod just probably couldn't wait any longer

In the van
In the toilets in the next village
In the field 100m down the road
Even in the bushes in the garden.

Just not 2 feet from someone's front door.

OP posts:
PlumsGalore · 08/02/2017 23:00

We had this with our postman, us and next door live down a little private drive, next door caught him pissing in the corner of the drive next to the garage and gave him a rollicking. I didn't report him because he is the dad of one of DD's fellow pupils and is always a massive help when I see him at the sorting office with queries, but I was peed off because he lives two streets away from us!

corythatwas · 08/02/2017 23:01

5OBalesofHay Wed 08-Feb-17 22:54:17
"So on your time monitored low paid job around the residential streets where would you have a piss if desperate? Poor sod just probably couldn't wait any longer"

If it's a village, presumably it doesn't take that long before he gets to a tree or a hedge that is not inside somebody's garden directly by their door?

And like all other individuals above the age of 3, he needs to start planning a few minutes before he got desperate.

If he can't even wait to take a few steps outside the OPs garden, what would he do if he was in a shopping mall? Relieve himself among the shoppers?

ghostspirit · 08/02/2017 23:02

Get a notice that says no dogs fouling. Cross out the dog and write postman...

Original poster
Bearsinmotion · 08/02/2017 23:05

ghost Grin. That's kind of what I am planning. Just in pictorial form.

Good point cory - there is a pub at the end of the road, and a village hall and a very naice cafe about 300 m away. And the field 100m away.

OP posts:
hoddtastic · 08/02/2017 23:07

on a FB recently a cab driver was filmed having a shit in an alley behind some houses, by some of the reasoning on this you'd all be ok with that yes?

HE HAD TO GO SOMEWHERE NO?

I don't believe, that unless he has some kind of issues he was unaware that at some point in the next hour or so he'd need a piss and therefore couldn't find somewhere less gopping to go. He's not a potty training 2 year old, he's a grown man. It's horrible, stinky, entitled and vile.

OrchidaceousRose · 08/02/2017 23:08

Send yourself a letter addressed to

BearsInMotion
STOP PISSING IN MY GARDEN
My House
My Street
The Village
BE4 RS1

Even better, upload the still to Moonpig or similar, and get them to make a postcard of it- address as above.

stoopido · 08/02/2017 23:09

I wouldn't report him but I would let him know I know what he did! purely because I wouldn't want him to keep doing it up my wall!!

ItWentDownMyHeartHole · 08/02/2017 23:11

That is quite close! I imagine he pees in your garden because you're never in. Or at least I hope that's why he does it. Leaving a note is the better idea. On thinking about it, I'm not sure I could say anything to his face either. By the by, I once had a postie shove his hand through the gap in the door (no post box) and grab my boob. I was 19 and clueless so didn't call his boss. I did stop answering the door though...

corythatwas · 08/02/2017 23:11

Most of us have busy work schedules and can't go exactly when we need to, but we usually manage not to relieve ourselves all over the office floor or in the open street, by exercising a little planning.

Dancergirl · 08/02/2017 23:12

FGS all this hysteria over a bit of wee! The rain will wash it away. All you pearl clutters - don't you worry about animal wee and poo everywhere??

Reporting him is just mean. Maybe he had an infection or something and couldn't wait?

I wouldn't get on the wrong side of someone who delivers YOUR mail in all weathers into your home.

Original poster
Bearsinmotion · 08/02/2017 23:13

Even better, upload the still to Moonpig or similar, and get them to make a postcard of it- address as above.

Genius!!

OP posts:
HappyFlappy · 08/02/2017 23:15

SeveredPixieBits

This is the best username since Deckthehallswithlimbsofzombie

Kudos! Grin

avamiah · 08/02/2017 23:17

Bearsinmotion,
I'm with you 100 percent on this one and I don't care if you live in the country or on a busy road like me or half way up a mountain it's not acceptable.
He's not a drunk who has just come out of the local pub after last orders, he's the bloody postman.
It's like a bus driver, he can't just get out of the bus and have a piss at the side of it,as he would get the sack.
If it was me I would just tell him straight or get your husband to have a word and I doubt it would ever happen again .

5OBalesofHay · 08/02/2017 23:19

Fair enough then if options in easy reach he should have called there
and no need to be desperate

corythatwas · 08/02/2017 23:20

Report | Message poster |
Dancergirl Wed 08-Feb-17 23:12:08
"FGS all this hysteria over a bit of wee! The rain will wash it away. All you pearl clutters - don't you worry about animal wee and poo everywhere??"

If it rains before the OPs children want to hang out in that space. And what animals exactly with the bladder capacity of a male human are likely to be frequenting an English garden?

As the OP has explained repeatedly, it would have been very easy not to relieve himself by her front door, by e.g. stepping into a field or using nearby bushes. Pissing in somebody's garden next to their front door is very, very rude.

wideboy26 · 08/02/2017 23:24

You might want to check that he hasn't done...erm...'anything else' in your garden before you take him to task

HappyFlappy · 08/02/2017 23:26

Maybe he had an infection or something and couldn't wait?

THIS ^^^

And he can't do it often otherwise OP would have noticed the garden stinking of wee.

And be fair - how does he know where the kids wait about?