To not be able to wait for Menopause?

[StewPots]

Ok, so I know that title sounds a bit silly, but at the grand old age of 33, I just want to be done with the whole monthly thing. I know (from my mum and MIL) that menopause is absolutely not a bed of roses, far from it, but PMS ruins my life for at least three weeks a month and I'm truly fed up.

I've been to the GP and there's nothing to recommend (can't take Pill due to family history of DVT , strokes etc). I'm currently on an implant which is the most reliable contraception I've ever had (GP did recommend Coil but risk of getting pregnant a lot higher apparently - I have 2 DCs, 15 & 3 and certainly don't want anymore). I've had AD for issues unrelated but have been free of them for a year and don't feel a need for them anymore (much happier settled life with DH following years in an abusive relationship).

I am just fed up, sick and tired, of the constant acne round my face for at least 3 weeks a month, despite clear skin until my late 20s, trying loads of methods/products/supplements etc, even ABX from GP which didn't work. I'm fed up of this awful blackness that swallows me whole for at least 4 days at a time once a month - proper sobbing fits followed by an absolute feeling of rage. It's exhausting as I need to keep it all in for the family, although poor DH bears the brunt of it.
The stages of undereating/overeating g at different points in my cycle. The absolute exhaustion I feel (like today) for no real reason at all (currently working PT but have night shift tonight- great) which leave me wiped out and drained. The bloating despite a good balanced diet.
I know this sounds very small fry and there are a lot worse things I could behave, but honestly it rules me for at least 3 weeks a month. I have one week where I feel really happy, energised, slim, clear skin etc etc and that's it.
Am I totally BU in thinking although the menopause is a nightmare, it can't be any worse than this for the next 20 years? The hot flushes I can put up with as also once a month at least I get a temperature surge and I spend my days and nights having real sweats (sorry, TMI).
Sorry for the long post and rant, and sorry if I've offended anyone, I'm just really fed up and frankly down about it. I never used to be like this. Thanks for all of you who made it to the end 😌

Blossom - pls what was your process to getting a hysterectomy and how Lin between you requesting it and having it done.

Again ILove I really feel for you. I get the odd cramps but that's it now. That's a positive for me in amongst all the total shite for 25 days

Blossom - I'm bet you're so glad you had it done

It was a long time ago now and I suspect that things have changed. The decision was made because my life was a misery and various hormonal treatments got me nowhere. Unbelievably I did not become anaemic in spite of leaking like a tap most of the time.

I am sure that your GP would be willing to listen if things are so difficult for you. Good luck with this - I know how miserable it is.

Sorry if I sound a but snippy, I'm typing in between the few minutes of the pan easing up, it's like spastic pain, it builds up slowly then reaches a crescendo where it me a good hiding, then goes again. So I quickly type .

OP is it possible that there IS a medical need for you to be sterilised?

Your symptoms sound awful. I will think twice before I moan about having a shitty day once a month and I hope you manage to get some relief somehow

Thanks OP and apologies for all the typos. I'm also alone t home, so it's MN keeping me company

Tabitha - I don't think so, I had bloods done about 8 months ago, nothing unusual, plus same with smear...I had antibiotics for my skin, but even after a 3 month course no different. I will try Mirena as PP have said, see if that makes a difference..if not I would have to just wait it all out I guess but there are worse things...I'm just fed up of it all today.

Tabitha - and thank you for your kind words 😀

ILove - no problem! Make sure you get as much rest as you can ☺️

I'm off to my night shift now so replies may be sporadic thanks for all the advice and kind words so far

I've started perimenopuse and it like having severe PMT every day so only for 3 weeks a month sounds great!

ReUp - oh that sounds awful at least I get one week off!

I veer between wanting to kill everyone and wanting to kill myself!

I haven't read the whole thread so sorry if it's been mentioned. One of my friends is on a very low dose of anti depressants citalopram I think and that transformed her almost constant pmt. (not pain or heavy bleeding but but mood swings etc. )

Coil has a 1% risk, same as most if not all other methods. It's odd you were told it was somehow higher. I thought it was being pushed as the most reliable method right now.

I refused an implant as I'd already had such a bad time on hormones. I won't touch them again - and I say this because, when you hit the menopause, the treatment for all the bad things is HRT. Hormones. That will make you feel as bad as you do now.

Honestly, with your reactions I'd recommend getting the implant out and either considering a copper coil or sterilisation. Hormonal contraception's effects on women is becoming a much wider known issue, and you seem pretty sensitive to it.

On the menopause side of things, my mother's been going through it for 8 years now and it's pretty awful. She can't do HRT (made her suicidal) and basically suffers day in day out with dripping hot sweats and cannot sleep due to them.

Have you had specific hormone levels checked? It may be the implant is no longer agreeing with you.
Honestly i think you should argue the fact with your GP to get a referral for the op on the NHS as your quality of life is massively reduced. People get boob jobs, tummy tucks, gastric bands etc, you're suffering on a massive scale, just as much as someone who is depressed to have baggy skin is. Why do they deserve a quick fix and not you?

Ilove - That sounds terrible. I know how it gets; I used to take frightening amounts of painkillers - I'd got up to 8 ibuprofens in one go towards the end, often at 4am on an empty stomach. The pain was so severe I would be doubled over. You need to push your GP for a referral to a consultant and ask for tests to find out what's causing your pain.

You do need to be persistent with your GP and not let them fob you off (that was my mistake). It may be something that can be treated with a less radical solution than a hysterectomy, but you shouldn't have to live with pain that's ruining your life .

Menopause doesn't have to be bad. I hardly noticed mine- but I certainly noticed my periods!

Hi all, sorry just on a break. Yes it does make my life (and my family to an extent because I'm so miserable and down all the time) difficult. I was on citilopram for depression for 3 years but gradually weaned off them because my MH had improved. May be worth a lower dose.
I will ask the GP about sterilisation but I won't hold out much hope. Also as PP mentioned the coil too if the sterilisation is not an option.
I just feel exhausted with it all and today was a real rant type of day! Thank you all so so much for replies and advice. It's nice to know that I'm not alone, or that I don't have it as bad as some, always good to get some real perspective.
Night shift tonight doing me no favours at all tonight

It sounds like you have severe PMS otherwise known as premenstrual dysphoric disorder. This is a very real thing which causes psychological and physical symptoms two/three weeks a month and is often misdiagnosed as depression or even bipolar. It's not a small thing, you don't have to put up with it and it is debilitating. You can start by looking at the website of the national PMS association who have treatment guidelines and advice on how to get your GP to take it seriously/act appropriately as many GPs are unaware of or unfamiliar with the extent of the problem and current treatment guidelines. If you want more depth the Royal college of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists just released new guidelines on treating this - one of which is indeed full hysterectomy. Google RCOG severe PMS guidelines to find these. Women can and do have hysterectomy on the NHS as treatment for this condition. Also very much worth looking at are the websites of Dr Nick Panay (works with NHS and privately treating this) and Dr John Studd (works privately). You need to chart your symptoms and cycle for two months and go to go seeking referral to a gynae specialising in this - ideally Nick Panay. Bring the RCOG guidelines as GP will be inclined to take these seriously coming from a respected medical body. Please don't think you just have to live with this as there are treatment options. On the coil/implant front it works for some women with the condition but doesn't work for many due to progesterone intolerance. Just an FYI, your bloods would be normal - severe PMS/PMDD is not caused by abnormal hormone levels but by heightened brain sensitivity to normal hormonal fluctuations. Also search for the FB group PMDD/severe PMS UK as you will find women with a wealth of experience who understand what you're going through and have tried the different treatment options on there. Recent research indicates that this is a disorder triggered at a cellular level affecting 2-5℅ of women.

Wow thanks comma - that's a lot of really good info. I've never thought I may have something up with me properly, that it's just something us women all go through. But it does affect my life everyday except for the one week it doesn't when I'm happy and feel me again...then it all comes back and I'm in this cycle of misery.
It sounds horrendous, because I know there are women in awful situations and they have also got fertility issues, but if someone said to me, "we can take out everything today" I would do it in a heartbeat. I'm being VU with that I know, because compared to a lot of women I'm very lucky - I have two great kids. And I am so grateful to have them. I know others who's are not so fortunate.
It's just me being selfish I suppose, and fed up of having this over and over for the next however many years grinds me down. It has affected my self esteem badly. I used to be so confident. Now it doesn't matter what I do I look and feel awful 90% of the time thanks to this shit.
Thank you for your advice, I am certainly going to make an appointment with my GP asap and see what my options are going forward.

Also Customary - thank you, I am going to start getting serious with my GP because I don't know any other women in my life who are going through this right now- they have normal PMS. Mine just never seems to end and seems extreme.

This is one of many articles that's worth a read. broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/living-with-pms-that-makes-you-want-to-die
I'm lucky too in not having fertility issues but this is a serious disorder that for me at least has blighted my life. There is help out there, albeit help you often have to fight for. Don't settle for another 20 years of this as for most sufferers it gets much worse in perimenopause.

I suffered heavy and painful periods. They were dominating my life. I had a womb ablation last year and it's honestly changed my life. My periods have stopped altogether and it's amazing. An ablation is only suitable once a woman has had children as I can no longer carry a baby. However I have DC and my family is now complete so it was the perfect solution for me.

Thank you Comma and Stop, I will certainly be looking into things a lot more, starting with a GP appointment asap. Hopefully there's a solution to all this somewhere :)