To not be able to wait for Menopause?

[StewPots]

Ok, so I know that title sounds a bit silly, but at the grand old age of 33, I just want to be done with the whole monthly thing. I know (from my mum and MIL) that menopause is absolutely not a bed of roses, far from it, but PMS ruins my life for at least three weeks a month and I'm truly fed up.

I've been to the GP and there's nothing to recommend (can't take Pill due to family history of DVT , strokes etc). I'm currently on an implant which is the most reliable contraception I've ever had (GP did recommend Coil but risk of getting pregnant a lot higher apparently - I have 2 DCs, 15 & 3 and certainly don't want anymore). I've had AD for issues unrelated but have been free of them for a year and don't feel a need for them anymore (much happier settled life with DH following years in an abusive relationship).

I am just fed up, sick and tired, of the constant acne round my face for at least 3 weeks a month, despite clear skin until my late 20s, trying loads of methods/products/supplements etc, even ABX from GP which didn't work. I'm fed up of this awful blackness that swallows me whole for at least 4 days at a time once a month - proper sobbing fits followed by an absolute feeling of rage. It's exhausting as I need to keep it all in for the family, although poor DH bears the brunt of it.
The stages of undereating/overeating g at different points in my cycle. The absolute exhaustion I feel (like today) for no real reason at all (currently working PT but have night shift tonight- great) which leave me wiped out and drained. The bloating despite a good balanced diet.
I know this sounds very small fry and there are a lot worse things I could behave, but honestly it rules me for at least 3 weeks a month. I have one week where I feel really happy, energised, slim, clear skin etc etc and that's it.
Am I totally BU in thinking although the menopause is a nightmare, it can't be any worse than this for the next 20 years? The hot flushes I can put up with as also once a month at least I get a temperature surge and I spend my days and nights having real sweats (sorry, TMI).
Sorry for the long post and rant, and sorry if I've offended anyone, I'm just really fed up and frankly down about it. I never used to be like this. Thanks for all of you who made it to the end 😌

Old - thank you. for you too 🙂

I had an easy menopause, so it may not be terrible.

to those still suffering.

Gleam - my mum and Dsis didn't have it as badly as some ladies they knew, but they suffered for years with heavy periods, (which I used to but no longer have due to implant)horrific PMS symptoms too. It must be in the genes.

I'm in my fifteenth year of hot flushes. Yes FIFTEEN. Once a month sounds bloody lovely to me.
At least the skin crawling sensation has abated. That one was only 3 years long...

Tbf i was sterrilised for medical reasons I guess the criteria will be rigid for non essential operations.

Oh my skin crawls , stew bet you are regretting starting this thread

Oh fuzzy that sounds horrendous...my MIL has been having the skin crawl thing as well as hot flushes for 2 and a half years so far. Awful. I really feel for her. But she has said that she never, ever had problems with her periods or PMS and wasn't expecting such a horrendous time of it now in her 50s.

MrsJayy, I hoped it would be done and dusted by 50 too, but here I am now and still going.

I comfort myself with the hope that surely it can't be too much longer. Surely the end must be in sight. If only we knew where the end actually was, because it varies so much from one woman to another.

Haha MrsJ nope I'm quite happy to be told I'm BU and get some insight from ladies going through it all. 😀

I hope it ends asap for you topsey

Yanbu for wanting it all to come to an end stew we all want it to end

I'm not sure whether YABU or not. I'm 39 and fed up with PMT, but then I can't imagine the menopause being much fun either and I think I'm already perimenopausal now. However, I am delighted at the prospect of it all being over at some point. So, YA probably NBU.

I know I'm BU but I'm not trying to say that menopause is easy at all, and I'm sorry if I'm coming across like im sounding that way ("oh menopause is a walk in the park compared to what I go through") as that wasn't my intention.

If I even had these symptoms for a week a month I could deal with it. Easy. I've been coping with this for 2 years so far. The fact is it's my life for 3 weeks a month, and it's driving me nuts. It's all the time.
I'm not looking forward to menopause per se, it's just that it would at least seem that the end may be in sight somewhere. Because I can't keep on like this for the next however many years. One week in a month where I feel like me, not some awful, acne ridden, emotional raging sleep deprived exhausted mess. Which is really how I feel and look today.
I just hope my daughter has an easier time of it PMS wise. (Fingers crossed!)

Tops- I hope it all ends for you soon, it's all pretty awful.
MrsJ - indeed, and thank you for your advice and kind words :)
Night - thank you :)

I am 55 and still waiting for it to start (other than some irregular gaps between periods). I wish someone had told me at 40 that menopause might start between age 55 to 60 and that I had at least 15 years more of normal periods as I've been waiting for it to start since I was 40.

YANBU - I've had a hysterectomy & oophorectomy so had an immediate menopause; I have some symptoms but at their worst they're still better than my awful periods and ovulation symptoms were on a good day.

That might not be everyone's experience, but I'm really happy to have bypassed the perimenopause.

I too was sterilised at 34, yes it was painful, but has been great since then. There is a minor risk of pregnancy, but its rare. Best thing i ever did really and lovely not to have to take pills any more or just the worry of contraception.
The trouble with being peri menopausal for me now is not knowing when the periods are due - had one in december and nothing since. This could drag on then change next few months, or go on for a year.. Its not without its down side and some of the symptoms are not very nice ( hot flushes, achy bones, tiredness etc) But i get where your coming from.

I guess I'm just feeling like I've reached the end of my tether with it all, my GP is very good but as we know can't wave a magic wand and make it all go away. It's just the thought of this going on, despite taking advice re diet, exercise, supplements etc, nothing works which makes it even more depressing 🙄

Thanks Custom, I'm glad you recovered well :)

Not every woman's menopause is awful.

Like childbirth it is very individual.

I have sailed through the menopause- in my 50s now. No symptoms at all, barring loss of periods.
I feel great, and loving being post menopausal, entering a very creative and energetic time in my life.

80s - I really have thought about that, long and hard, but the cost is just too much right now to have it done. Maybe in 5-10 years time it might be an option (crosses fingers 🙂) Glad that you recovered well and are enjoying life :)

I hope it ends soon too. If only I could get my crystal ball to work.

My worst thing is the flooding, and it makes me nervous whenever I have to be out of the house.

Skerry - wow that sounds like my kind of menopause but yes obviously each woman is different. Did you have bad PMS before it?

I honestly dont think anybody thinks you are BU , contraception choices making you feel like you are trapped, the constant pms looking forward to a week where you feel like a normal person must be taking it's toll and you are expected to function like an adult where you probably just want to stay in bed most days

Tops - that's awful I hope things improve for you. It really does suck being a woman sometimes with all this crap to deal with 🙄