To not be able to wait for Menopause?

[StewPots]

Ok, so I know that title sounds a bit silly, but at the grand old age of 33, I just want to be done with the whole monthly thing. I know (from my mum and MIL) that menopause is absolutely not a bed of roses, far from it, but PMS ruins my life for at least three weeks a month and I'm truly fed up.

I've been to the GP and there's nothing to recommend (can't take Pill due to family history of DVT , strokes etc). I'm currently on an implant which is the most reliable contraception I've ever had (GP did recommend Coil but risk of getting pregnant a lot higher apparently - I have 2 DCs, 15 & 3 and certainly don't want anymore). I've had AD for issues unrelated but have been free of them for a year and don't feel a need for them anymore (much happier settled life with DH following years in an abusive relationship).

I am just fed up, sick and tired, of the constant acne round my face for at least 3 weeks a month, despite clear skin until my late 20s, trying loads of methods/products/supplements etc, even ABX from GP which didn't work. I'm fed up of this awful blackness that swallows me whole for at least 4 days at a time once a month - proper sobbing fits followed by an absolute feeling of rage. It's exhausting as I need to keep it all in for the family, although poor DH bears the brunt of it.
The stages of undereating/overeating g at different points in my cycle. The absolute exhaustion I feel (like today) for no real reason at all (currently working PT but have night shift tonight- great) which leave me wiped out and drained. The bloating despite a good balanced diet.
I know this sounds very small fry and there are a lot worse things I could behave, but honestly it rules me for at least 3 weeks a month. I have one week where I feel really happy, energised, slim, clear skin etc etc and that's it.
Am I totally BU in thinking although the menopause is a nightmare, it can't be any worse than this for the next 20 years? The hot flushes I can put up with as also once a month at least I get a temperature surge and I spend my days and nights having real sweats (sorry, TMI).
Sorry for the long post and rant, and sorry if I've offended anyone, I'm just really fed up and frankly down about it. I never used to be like this. Thanks for all of you who made it to the end 😌

I think the fact that this is my life for 3 weeks a month is the part that gets me. If this all happened in just a week it would be totally do-able (although pretty shitty too).

I had the implant in for a short while and it honestly turned me into a lunatic! Are you sure it's not that that's causing you so much angst? I'm perimenopausal and although I'm still on a regular cycle I only bleed for about 36 hrs. I suffered horrendous pain when I was younger but now just a dull ache. DH had a vasectomy so I'm not on anything anymore. Have you had a length of time off contraception to see how your body handles it?

I was lucky & never really had many probs, although it got worse as I aged. However, after 30+ years of that I'd had enough, & when chemo stopped them dead I was absolutely delighted! I felt exactly like you do, I'd beat anyone in a row, had uncontrollable rages & wanted to kill people, throw myself under a bus ... you know how it is. 8 years on I'm much better, but I still feel very much on the edge at times, & have sweats. Oh & I forgot to mention the beard!!! It may all be because of the treatment I had rather than a natural meno. Whatever, I feel your pain op, go & see your Dr & try & get something sorted out. I did think that seeing as I had it easy with PMS I may have had a tough meno, desperate times eh.

Funnily enough, I was thinking this only this morning. I was also thinking how much better it would be if we could naturally turn our fertility on and off when we needed it.

Ianbro - I was off any form whilst we tried for DS then didn't use anything but condoms post pregnancy. Had the implant in 2 and a half years approx now and yes it has certainly crossed my mind, but I had it for years before with no issues :/

Where do you live? How well off are you?

Someone recommended this place but it probably isn't cheap.

My mum and DSis had awful periods, symptoms etc too, then a difficult menopause of 2 years then...nothing. Free of everything now. And oh boy am I jealous sometimes :/

YANBU.
I'm 38 and have a history of early menopause in my family so am joyfully aware of the ticking clock.
DH cannot have more DC, meaning I can't (not at all into IVF, surrogacy etc) and I've eventually made my peace with it. In your situation OP I would feel exactly the same

I had perimenopause for 10 years before my periods stopped dead aged 47. So happy to be free of all that shit. YANBU.

Faintly - great you have made peace, and thank you :)

Magz - thank you yes I'm truly fed up. I recognise that every woman's experience of menopause is different, mine may be totally horrendous, but I really just want to see the light at the end somewhere Shines torchlight

Sorry to derail. But I'm on right now and in agony. Just pain pain inndescribable pain. I'm 48 and had enough.
Can I just request a hysterectomy? I can't sit can't find nction and it's every month.

Great - thank you I appreciate your words that must have been a very tough time.. haha beard yes, I get one really long chin hair that is very noticeable until I get my tweezers out, no doubt I'll be able to rival DH in the beard stakes in a few years!

Neighbours - it's bloody crap isn't it..derail away

Soup - that truly would be liberating wouldn't it...where's that damn switch?!?

Cru - I'm in the SW and pretty poor right now, although who knows in a few years? Sounds intriguing though!

Is there a certain criteria for having a hysterectomy?

Yes I think so, it has to be very strict I guess, I've been looking at sterilisation. Not cheap (unaffordable for me right now) but could help with the PMS.

Ilove - I don't know the medical criteria, but you're normally expected to have tried other treatments first if it's for pain/bad periods. They also have to make sure through discussion that you're accepting of the end to your fertility (if pre-menopausal).

OP, whenever I had a hot flush or night sweat, I thought back to 7 days of menses hell and smiled.
For me, menopause was a dream come true.

Ilove - has your GP referred you to a consultant?

Out - My PMS is so bad and goes on for so long that I think I'm grasping at any kind of end, and that for me would be the menopause...at least the end would be somewhere! Glad you had a pleasant-ish experience of it, here's hoping but god knows how many years for me to get there!

for ILove...I too went through this until periods slowed/stopped due to implant. My mum and Ddis also. Horrendous. All of it, from start to finish.

No I haven't been referred, I've been gorging n pain loss killers for month. I just can't stand it any longer and I'm 48, had my kids. I'm terrified of the Mireya based on all the stories on MN people crying to get them out. I reacted badly to the pill in the past and just can't cope it's more tablets. I just want my life back. I've been laid up in bed for two whole days. I can't get up, can't go out, just groaning no in pain, can't eat. I have so much ch work to do, reports to write while I'm on this stupid period.

I went down the hysterectomy route at age 42 - it was bliss and wiped out the chaos of my menstrual cycle: changing sheets in the middle of the night, using two pads and two large tampons all at once, pain pain pain, dreadful PMT, menstruating 2.5 weeks out of 4 etc. What a bloody design fault it all is!